Paris Never Dies
by HesMines
Summary: Ducky's twenty year old niece turns up at NCIS eight months after JD and drops a bombshell on Gibbs. Jenny's not dead. "I'm gonna tell you three things that aren't true. Leon Vance is Director of NCIS..Ducky hasn't worked for us in years..Jenny's dead."
1. She's Not Dead

**Hiyaaa! For those of you have me on Author Alter, well, small case of writers block and was attacked by a random little NCIS plot bunny! It really helps when you're procrastinating homework! I'm still doing my other story, this is just a side project. **

**Okay, this is completely AU. I'm from Scotland and we've just finished season 6 so season 7 hasn't happened yet and I don't have much to change from that.**

**SUMMARY – A girl turns up at NCIS looking for Ducky and has some interesting news for Gibbs.**

**WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW – Vance didn't split the team up (he didn't have the power to) so Ziva never met Rivkin and is still skirting round her feelings for Tony etc so she doesn't leave for Israel at anytime. Lee was caught a different way etc. Amanda is Ducky's niece and is a spy working for MI6. She's known Gibbs for 15 years (it's been about 16/17 since Shannon & Kelly died) and is part of his family, but Ziva McGee and Tony don't know her. I'm not an expert on medicine or MI6 or anything so what I'm saying in just a result of my warped brain!**

**I don't own anything :( If I did Jenny wouldn't have died, Tiva would be real and there would be lots of little Gibblets running about!**

TRANSLATIONS (I used a translator)

Je cherche l'Agent Spécial Gibbs? – I'm looking for Special Agent Gibbs?

Oui, c'est très important. Sa cafetière électrique s'est cassée. Je crois qu'il l'a tué. – Yes, it's very important. His coffee machine's broken. I think he killed it.

Mon anglais est pas mal... – My English is okay...

Vous êtes chauds! – You're hot!

Vous jouez avec eux... – You're playing with them...

Jethro! Je vous ai manqués! Vous vu Ducky? L'autopsie vide et Abby ne l'a pas vu. – Jethro! I missed you! You seen Ducky? Autopsy's empty and Abby hasn't seen him.

Que vous ai-je dit du jeu avec les esprits des gens? – What have I told you about playing with people's minds?

Ne devenez pas attrapés! Mais sérieusement, avez-vous vu Ducky? – Don't get caught! But seriously, have you seen Ducky?

* * *

The dark room was filled with beeping monitors hooked up to the redheaded woman lying on the bed. Out in the corridor, the lights were dimmed and a tall brunette silently looked through the window into the room, her eyes never leaving the woman's face. A doctor came and stood next to the girl, watching the steady rise and fall of the woman's chest.

"We got her test results back," he said finally, turning his head to look at the girl. She made no sign that she'd heard him except tensing slightly. It would have passed unnoticed by anyone else, but he had known her for years and he saw it. He reached out and put a hand on her arm, "Amanda...It worked. She's going to be fine."

Amanda finally moved and looked him in the eye. Instead of the joy and relief most doctors would have expected, her eyes were guarded and wary. "You're sure? There's no relapses, no check up six months down the line where you tell her you got it wrong? Don't lie to me Josh."

"What she has isn't like leukaemia or anything like that. Once she's fine, she's fine. And this isn't a by-chance-it-worked. Of the five people in the UK on the trail, one didn't work, two are showing signs of fighting it and she's," he indicated to the woman on the bed, "going to make a full recovery. The patients in the rest of Europe are showing similar reactions. You'd know if I was lying to you, you know me too well."

"That's true," Amanda chuckled, a small smile creeping onto her face, "How long have I got?"

Josh looked down at the chart again before answering, "I can keep her out for about five days max – she's a fighter, her body will wake itself up eventually. How long can I _guarantee_ you?" he continued without looking up from the chart. He didn't need to see her open her mouth to know her next question, "Two days. Any longer and there's a chance she might wake up. If you're longer than the five days, I can pretty much guarantee you she'll be awake."

"Two days?" repeated Amanda incredulously, fully turning away from the window. "I've got to sit on a plane for two days! Even with the best will in the world I'm not getting back in that time frame! You do know there are no planes till tomorrow?"

"Mandy, it _is_ tomorrow." sighed Josh, rubbing his hands over his face, "You've been standing here for hours. You've got two days _after_ today."

Amanda looked down at her watch before rolling her eyes and muttering, "Smart arse." while looking at him from the corner of her eyes.

"You'll be out of the country before I get off." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Josh knew what to expect – he'd known her for eight years, they'd been dating two – he just had to have it confirmed. Amanda nodded before looking away, tears in her eyes. He pulled her into hug and she buried her face in his chest. He was one of the only people who saw this side of her. It was a million miles away from the tough exterior most people saw.

"_How_?" he could barely make out her muffled whisper, "How do you tell your family you've lied to them for eight months?"

**[Insert NCIS theme tune....]**

The squad room was unusually quiet for a Friday. Special Agents McGee and DiNozzo were sitting at their desks catching up on paperwork when the elevator doors pinged. Neither one looked up as the tall brunette walked out the doors and towards the bullpen.

Tony looked up as she came to a stop in front of his desk. Before he could ask her what she wanted, she asked in fluent French, "Je cherche l'Agent Spécial Gibbs?"

At this, McGee looked up. Both men exchanged glances – French wasn't one of their strong points. Tony looked back at the girl, she had to be about twenty, and asked hesitantly, "You're looking for Gibbs?"

"Oui, c'est très important." Seeing that the pair had no idea what she was saying, Amanda's eyes glinted mischievously as she added, "Sa cafetière électrique s'est cassée. Je crois qu'il l'a tué."

"Right..." said McGee as he tried to figure out what to do. "Tony, call Gibbs. Tell him there's someone here for him..." Then he turned his attention back to the girl as he asked clearly, "Do you speak English at all?"

"Mon anglais est _pas mal_..." she smiled non-commitedly, "Vous êtes chauds!"

"Vous jouez avec eux..." said Gibbs as he walked towards the bullpen.

"Jethro! Je vous ai manqués!" she squealed as she turned to face Gibbs. "Vous vu Ducky? L'autopsie vide et Abby ne l'a pas vu."

McGee and Tony looked at each other in confusion. She knew Gibbs, Ducky and Abby...yet she didn't speak English? They looked even more confused when Gibbs hugged her. So much for a quiet day at the office...

"Que vous ai-je dit du jeu avec les esprits des gens?" whispered Gibbs into her ear.

"Ne devenez pas attrapés!" she laughed as she pulled back, "Mais sérieusement, avez-vous vu Ducky?"

"You check the house?" asked Gibbs as he walked over to his desk at sat down, ignoring the looks he was getting from his agents.

"Drove past, no Morgan." she answered, her voice accented the same way as Ducky's, as she turned to sit on the edge of Gibbs' desk, dropping her handbag on top of a pile of case files. Tony was surprised she wasn't getting a Gibbs-glare right now. "Went to yours, dumped my stuff – your coffee machine's broken by the way – came here, checked downstairs, came up here and that's about it. He's not answering his phone either."

McGee and Tony weren't trying to conceal their mouths hanging open anymore. Who was she? She'd just admitted to (almost) breaking into Gibb's house, messing with his coffee, and pretended that she couldn't speak English. What was weirder was how relaxed she was around Gibbs. She hadn't been there five minutes and they were already chatting away like he did with Abby.

"He's not in Autopsy _and_ he's not answering his cell?" Gibbs raised his eyebrows. There were no cases, nothing outstanding for him to do – where was he?

"Nuh uh," Amanda sighed shaking her head – this was weird. Ducky never did anything like this. He was never unreachable; he knew she was coming at some point anyway. She was suddenly shaken from her thoughts when Gibbs asked her why she was there, "Oh, bit of both really. This is one of the times where my professional life and my personal one seem to cross over. It's complicated."

Gibbs just nodded, he knew what she meant. He knew his personal and professional lives had crossed a few times...and that it had ended up pretty complicated – and it wasn't as important for him to keep those lives separate.

"I think I might know where is he is. Feel like a coffee run?" said Gibbs suddenly, an idea hitting him. He was giving her his full attention, something that further confused Tony and McGee.

Amanda nodded and jumped of the desk. Picking up her handbag she waited for Gibbs to walk around the desk and followed him to the elevator.

After a few moments of silence, McGee turned to Tony and asked "What was that?"

Tony looked after his boss and the mysterious brunette for a few more seconds before turning suddenly and almost running to his desk. As he picked up the phone he looked at McGee and smiled, "She knows Abby....Hey Abs! Two minutes I'm gonna put you on speaker."

"Hey guys, what's up?" came the cheerful voice of the bubbly Goth.

Tony, skipping the usual banter, rushed straight to the point, "Abs, you know anything about this girl? Around about twenty, can't be older than twenty-two. She's about five five, brunette, size twelve, speaks fluent French, acts like you around Gibbs –"

He didn't get to finish his point, because Abby had burst out laughing. Before he could ask what was so funny, Abby managed to choke, "I guess you met Amanda. I can't believe you two fell for that! The cute foreigner talking random nonsense? That's the oldest trick in the book!"

Both men exchanged glances, slightly worried about their forensic scientist's state of mind. McGee looked towards the phone and continued, "Okay, we've got a name, but who is she? And what are you talking about?"

"Amanda's twenty, and she's known Gibbs since she was about five, he's her adopted Uncle. She's from Stirling but she's spent every summer here since she was like two, and since she was eight or something she's been over even more for school and stuff. My parents have lived next door to her Great Uncle since she was about fifteen. And as for the 'what am I on about'," they could hear Abby's smirk through the phone, "you got played. She came down looking for Ducky and I told her to check with Gibbs. I also told her that she could come up there and spout out some random language and you'd still flirt with her. Though, since you're calling me, and don't have a concussion, I guess Gibbs showed up before you could?"

"Yeah. I think they went to look for Ducky." answered Tony, absentmindedly.

JIBBS JIBBS JIBBS JIBBS

Gibbs reached over and flipped the emergency break. He turned to look at Amanda, a rare look of concern on his face, "What's up that's got you looking like this? You know you can talk to me, right?"

Amanda took a deep breath and looked away. He gaze focused on the opposite wall, she nodded, "I know."

Gibbs didn't say anything. He knew her well enough that he knew she'd talk eventually. After a few minutes of silence she looked up at him and said, "I have a message for someone and I'm not sure how they're gonna take it."

Gibbs suddenly understood, she'd played messenger before but she probably hadn't passed bad news onto someone she was close to. He was pretty sure it wasn't Ducky, gut feeling, but then who did that leave?

"Promise you won't hate me?" she said suddenly, "I know it's childish but..." she trailed off, looking at the floor again. Gibbs could see that she was beating herself up over this, over her weakness – but then again she wasn't _supposed_ to show weakness.

"It's for me?" Gibbs couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice – why would MI6 have a message for him? When she didn't answer he added, "I'm not going to get mad. Amanda you can tell me."

"Okay, I'm gonna tell you three things that are widely assumed to be true, but aren't." She'd regained her composure, and was now leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She meant business. "Leon Vance is the Director of NCIS."

"He's not?" asked Gibbs, a hint of anger in his voice. He'd been threatening to break up the team so that they could catch the mole since he'd gotten the job – and all that time it'd been an empty threat?!

"Nope. Look anywhere but his door and you'll see the word 'acting' before 'director'. But, you know, no one's looked so no one realised. He doesn't even want the job, can't walk in Jenny's heels. SecNav told him he'd only have to do it for eightteen months to two years, I'll get to the why in a minute." she added when she saw Gibbs open his mouth to ask. She took a deep breath before she moved onto the next one, "Ducky hasn't worked for my country in years."

She paused for a second to let him comment on that, and wasn't surprised to see him chuckling.

"I never thought that." Gibbs finally said, shaking his head, "You're in for life. Once a marine, always a marine. Once a spy, always a spy. But unless there's some sort of plot to kill Vance and Ducky has to cover it up, I'm guessing number three connects them all?"

"Yeah," Amanda breathed out, nodding. She was silent for a moment before she looked Gibbs in the eye so he could see she wasn't lying.

All Gibbs could see in her eyes was determination, and a certain defiance, as if daring him not to believe her. He felt a pang when he realised it was the same look Jenny used to get when they were arguing and she knew she was right. Gibbs knew then he'd believe her, but the next words out her mouth nearly floored him.

"Jenny's dead."

**[Insert DUN....]**

* * *

**Sooo...what'd you think?**

**I think I've kept to character... **

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! **

**HesMines x**


	2. Explanations

**Hiyaa! I'm defiantly not going to be able to get the next one up as soon as this but I had most of it written when I posted the first chapter and I'm "waiting for the tipex to dry on my chemistry homework" This one is also reeeally long ... but it's only cos there's two flashbacks in there. It's probably never going to be this long again.**

**Yip, I'm procrastinating! =D Thanks to everyone who alerted me! I feel loved! **

**Tabitha of MoonAurora, aserene, j0k3, Oracle92, Questioning(dot)Silence, emmybaby, Pandora of Ithilien...Thank yhooo for the reviews! **

**1) Erm, the bit where Amanda's talking in slang is basically phonetic spelling of how I sound in slang. Her accent's there the whole time (like most people's) but the slang is when it really comes out (unless you're a NED) the rest of the time she sounds like Ducky. That's where some of the grammatical errors are coming in – I'm Scottish, I speak **_**Scottish**_**, and I'm kind of basing how Amanda talks on how we talk. And how we talk doesn't really make much sense compared to how you're **_**meant**_** to speak, [Sorry – I know you're not stupid but just in case anyone asks! lol] Shi's lucky shi left then, cos if shi hudni ah wida killed hur masel. Shi wizni gittin away wi it – means – She's lucky she left then, because if she hadn't I would've killed her myself. She wasn't getting away with it. 2) Right, I mucked up my timeline when I started this. Basically I mucked up the amount of time between Paris ending and Jenny dying. And I call myself an NCIS fan lol here's my (rough) timeline. **

**Age 5 – meets Gibbs...Age 9 – meets Jenny...Age 14 (just) – Jenny leaves Gibbs in Pairs...Age 14 (two months after Paris) – Gibbs goes to Moscow for nine months...Age 14 ½ – Abby 's parents move next door to Ducky...Age 14 (nearly 15) – Gibbs comes back, Abby starts NCIS...Age 15 (and a bit) – Tony added to Gibbs' new team...Age 18 – Kate killed...Age 20 – Jenny fakes death...Age 20 (nearly 21) – Paris never dies starts**

**Disclaimer – I own nada!**

* * *

Gibbs was leaning against the wall of the elevator, a look of shock on his face. Somewhere in his brain he registered that he should probably ask how it was possible, but that rational part was being overshadowed by the part that was currently incapable of coherent _thought_, far less speech.

After about five minutes of trying to put his thoughts in a semi-straight line and Amanda looking at him worriedly, as if he might suddenly snap or faint or something, Gibbs finally managed a weak, "How?"

Amanda sighed, glad for some response to show he was still alive other than owlish blinking, and explained, "She knew she was a target. I'm pretty sure she knew the chances of her coming out of that diner alive were slim. She'd called me the night before she ditched her detail. Told me she was in danger, and that it was to do with some mistake she'd made years ago. Said Mike Franks was flying out and asked me for back-up."

She took a deep breath and looked at the wall before she continued. She wasn't in the elevator with Gibbs anymore; she was in the middle of that damn desert. "You know that big rock about a mile up the road from the diner? I had an ambulance prepared for worst case scenario behind it, I was half a mile up the road keeping tabs on everything and there was a helicopter another half mile up the road to get them to hospital if they needed it. We had a bug and a camera in there. I didn't know what was happening until they went in. I should've known what was happening, I should've been there. I was meant to help and I nearly got her killed!"

Amanda's voice slowly rose in pitch as she voiced the guilt she'd been keeping hidden inside her for months. If she'd placed the bugs somewhere different, if she'd been closer, maybe Jenny wouldn't have been as badly hurt. Gibbs pulled her into a hug without thinking twice. He might be in a state of shock, but that didn't stop the protective instincts from kicking him. She wasn't his daughter, but you didn't have to be blood to be family.

"It's not your fault," he whispered as she clung to him, burying her face in his chest – trying to hide from her weakness. Normally if she felt weak or threatened she got defensive, but in front of her family she usually showed it. "You're the reason she's alive."

"It was still the longest two minutes of my life," answered Amanda from his shirt. "Her and Mike took down most of them, but the woman ran. Had to wait for her to leave before I could send in the ambulance – she got lucky."

Amanda pulled back and looked Gibbs in the eye. He looked confused for a minute before she explained, "Shi's lucky shi left then, cos if she hudni ah wida killed hur masel. Screw the cover. Shi wizni getting away wi it."

There was anger in her voice now as she turned to punch the wall. Switching back to her regular slang only showed how pissed off she was. Gibbs knew that Svetlana had got off easily when Mike had shot her. He knew if he'd gotten his hands on her anywhere other than Jen's house he wouldn't have been so merciful. The grief had gotten the better of him, and he'd actually thought for a moment that he'd be better off dead.

At least they'd be together.

Then there was Amanda. She was trained differently and could inflict ten times as more pain. She'd gotten off far too easily. He watched as she tried to regain her composure to continue and realised that things hadn't really added up before. It just took this little extra bit of information for him to see it.

Hidden in plain sight.

Amanda took a deep breath before looking at Gibbs and continuing, "I sent them in and when they got to her she was unconscious. I would've went in but I knew her detail wouldn't be far behind and couldn't take the risk of them seeing me. What if it was someone from the old days who knew me as Ducky's niece? Or what if it was someone new and they saw me six months later?"

"Hell, what if it was _you_?" she shuddered internally at the thought of facing Gibbs that day...telling him she'd nearly got Jenny killed or having tell him she _was_ dead, "Me being there would just lead to awkward questions. Anyway, they stabilized her and told Mike to get the hell out of there before your guys turned up. He didn't know we were there until the ambulance arrived – he doesn't know anything except we tried to save her. They were putting her in the ambulance when Tony and Ziva arrived. They told them some half-truth story and said they'd call them later but if they didn't get her out of there she'd die."

"That part was true," she added seeing the look on Gibbs' face, "She held in there though. We got her in the helicopter and took her to that specialist hospital we've got in LA; they took her straight into surgery. I called SecNav and told him what she asked me to pass on and he took the decision to say she died. Called Ducky and told him cos he'd have to fake the autopsy, had someone call Ziva and tell them she'd died and we'd transfer her body to NCIS. Then I called Josh and told him he there was someone I wanted him to look at, and that if he went up to my office he'd get a ticket for the next flight over here. She recovered enough for us to move her and we transferred her to the best hospital in the UK and started her treatment. They said it'd take months for her to recover properly, and that her illness wouldn't help. About two months after she 'died' she started taking part in all these trials and the last one worked. She's fine, she'll live."

Amanda paused and Gibbs thought she was finished and waiting for his reaction. She seemed to be thinking about something. Before he could react or ask what she was thinking about, or what happened now, she suddenly started speaking again. Only this time it was a careful whisper.

"I would have told you anyway, if she hadn't made any progress by two months from now I'd have got you on the first plane I could. There's a lot you need to find out, but it's not my place to tell you. She was that drugged up on painkillers she didn't hold anything back...let's just say she didn't change as much as you thought she did."

"Why are you telling me now? Who knew she was still alive? What did she tell SecNav?" barked Gibbs, suddenly getting his voice back. He wasn't mad _at Amanda_, but that didn't mean he wasn't mad.

"She's going to live." said Amanda simply. Gibbs thought she sounded a lot like Ducky when she got going like that – only difference was he wasn't going to shut her up, "A year ago they told her she had six or seven years left, and that she'd have to give everything up by the end of the third because, physically, she wouldn't be able to cope and by the end of the fourth she'd be housebound and be in constant pain. It's a horrible way to die. That's why Vance only had to do the job two years. If the trials didn't work she _wasn't_ coming back. Vance would go back to being Assistant Director and they'd get someone new in. She told me to tell SecNav she wasn't going to make you all lose her twice. What she told me was a _little bit_ more convincing."

"She said that this mistake wasn't going to go away until one of them was dead. She said they'd do their best to kill her. That even if she _didn't_ die in there she could die six weeks later when they did catch up with her. Or if she got hurt in there but made it out alive she might die six hours or six days later because of her injuries."

Amanda's voice suddenly became a whisper as she admitted what she'd been trying not to think about for the last eight months, "She said either way she was going to die in six years and that if she was on death's door now wouldn't it be better now and on _her_ terms? I gave SecNav the PG version."

"That would only make sense to Jen," muttered Gibbs as he ran a hand through his hair. If he was honest with himself, the rest could wait. He just wanted Amanda to tell him where the hell Jen was so he could get out the damn elevator and on the first plane he could.

"And as for who knows, there's four this side of the Atlantic. The President, SecNav, Ducky and you. Me, my family, Josh, the Prime Minister, the Foreign Secretary, the Queen, my boss, and maybe a few doctors but they work for us. So about fifteen people. The people on the team don't know whether she lived or not and it's not their job to find out."

"And in case you didn't realise, or you did and talked yourself out of it – she died to save you! She's always had your six. We all make mistakes but I'm not going to stand around and let you both make this one again. I stood aside the last two times – I'm not doing it again."

Gibbs suddenly had two flashbacks, and he wouldn't exactly call them 'standing aside'.

_Gibbs was standing in his basement sanding his boat – well trying to sand his boat, he'd he hadn't even noticed he'd stopped – trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. One minute everything had been fine, the next he wakes up to find the bed empty and a note on her pillow. That had been a week ago._

_He didn't notice the platinum blonde walk down the stairs and sit on the bottom step, watching him. Suddenly, she stood up and walked towards him, trying not to startle him._

"_Stupid question, but, you okay?" Amanda whispered, sitting down on the boat. She was only fourteen but she already understood what he was feeling. He silently cursed that damn psychology course that they had to take – Ducky had already psycho-analysed him enough._

"_You're right. That was a stupid question." He answered, not looking her in the eye. He knew he shouldn't take it out on her, but there was no way he was going to talk about his feelings._

"_What happened?" she asked, not put off by his attitude. There was a reason no one was able to get close to him – you just had to be determined to get past his walls. Though it helped she'd known him most of her life._

"_She got a job offer. In London. She took it, end of story." He shrugged, trying to play it down._

_Amanda looked confused for a second before she tilted her head like she was trying to figure something out. After a few minutes of silence where Gibbs sanded his boat and Amanda kept mouthing half-formed words, she finally asked, "Then why are you here?"_

_Gibbs turned to look at her, confusion clear on both their faces. _

"_Why are you _here_? Why aren't you in London?" she clarified when she realised he didn't get what she was saying. She knew he'd understood when he turned back to the workbench, pouring some bourbon in a glass, and wouldn't look at her. _

_He knew she wanted answers, and he knew that she wasn't a silly little girl. She was maybe more mature than her age implied...but that came with the territory. She had no experience with this kind of thing. She knew them, but she was still innocent enough to be clueless about it. It was one of the downsides of being raised to be a spy. You didn't know what a normal life was. You had to grow up quickly. _

_Not that I can call my life 'normal', Gibbs added silently._

"_You're just going to let her go?" Amanda whispered as she stood up. Anger was creeping into her voice, even though she spoke the words, in the silence of the basement it was as if she had shouted them. _

_Then she _was_ shouting._

"_You _love_ her and you're not even going to _try_ to get her back! What the _hell_, Uncle Jethro!" Even though he had his back to her he could tell she was giving him her version of his glare. "My Uncle Jethro doesn't take this sort of thing lying down! I've seen two of your marriages fail, and I saw you with Jenny...they were completely different! Give me one good reason why you aren't going after her!"_

_Gibbs was silent for a moment before her threw the glass at the wall and turned to face Amanda, the hurt evident on his face. When the glass smashed against the wall she flinched slightly but she stood her ground and continued glaring. _

_Sometimes this was the only way to get through to Gibbs._

"_She told me not to." he said almost to himself, looking at Amanda but not seeing her, "How's that for a reason?"_

"_Jethro," whispered Amanda sounding defeated, her eyes softening. This wasn't meant to happen... no wonder he was hurting. Knowing this openness wouldn't last much longer before he trivialised it and they spent the night working on the boat, she walked forward and put her arms around Gibbs, giving him a much needed hug, "You two were meant to work. One mistake wasn't meant to ruin you."_

_That incident had been repeated again four years later. Gibbs knew what was coming when he saw Amanda walk determinedly into his basement two weeks after they'd buried Kate. The only difference now was that Amanda was back to brunette, eighteen, and was carrying a bottle of bourbon._

"_I heard someone's back in the picture!" giggled Amanda in a sing-song voice. _

"_Who told you?" sighed Gibbs in mock-defeat. He hadn't expected this so soon, but he'd be lying if he said he was surprised._

"_Jenny, memo, Abby, Ducky. In that order." Gibbs turned to face her, the question clear on his face. _

_Amanda sighed before answering, "Jenny called me about, oh I don't know, ten minutes after she found out. Don't give me that look Jethro. Just because you two can't face each other doesn't mean I have to choose sides." She shook her head as she saw the frown form on Gibbs' face, "You know the break-ups are always hardest on the kids! I also got a frantic call from Abby saying there was a new director – she was a red-head, she knew you – what did I know?"_

"_You're hyper." Gibbs stated the obvious before sighing," What did you tell her?"_

"_That I know her and she's great. That she was your Probie and one hell of a field agent. Couldn't understand why she went into politics," laughed Amanda as she hopped onto the workbench, placing the bourbon next to Gibb's tools. "and of course I'm hyper! I've been waiting years for this!"_

"_Amanda, nothing's going to happen." said Gibbs, still sanding his boat. It wasn't that he didn't want anything to happen. Jenny had just made her view on that point very clear, "She's my boss."_

"_Right," drawled Amanda sceptically, he still loved her and she knew for a fact that Jenny felt the same way, "I give it a couple of weeks before you admit you're still in love with her. And regardless of _what_ it says on her door, you will _always_ be her boss."_

"_Amanda, there's not going to be any off the job." He sighed as he turned to face the spy. What he saw surprised him. Amanda's face was a cross between exasperation and disbelief. Gibbs couldn't exactly blame her. That had been partially his reaction – Jen just hadn't seen it._

"_I'm guessing that wasn't your idea."Amanda's voice was low and guarded. Gibbs knew she was probably creating scenarios in her head and planning courses of attack against every one of them as she spoke. When he didn't answer she jumped up and walked towards the stairs. _

_She paused with one foot on the bottom step. She turned to Gibbs and asked innocently, "You two are idiots by the way. Turtle Soup or Phish Food?" _

_Gibbs rolled his eyes and turned back to his boat. He doubted Phish Food would get her anywhere. Steak au Poivre on the other hand..._

Gibbs was suddenly pulled back to the present by Amanda's laugh. He guessed she'd realised what he was thinking.

She smiled as she rummaged through her bag. She'd known how he felt about Jen since she'd first seen them together. And even though they'd split up after Paris, she was still adamant that they were both making huge mistakes.

Finally, Amanda pulled out her cell and held it out to Gibbs. "There's a flight leaving tomorrow morning. I'm gonna be on that flight, so is Ducky when I find him, and you if you want to. All I gotta do is call SecNav and you've got a month off."

**[Insert DUN]**

"He's been gone a while Tony," said McGee turning to Tony. Tony and Ziva both looked up from the paperwork they were only half concentrating on to look at Tim. If they were honest with themselves they were worried too. It doesn't take Gibbs over an hour to find Ducky.

"I know," agreed Tony worriedly, looking from McGee to Ziva, "hey, you don't think Gibbs..."

"They don't think Jethro _what_, Anthony?" came a slightly exasperated voice from behind Tony.

Tony jumped and looked sheepishly at Ducky, "Been taking lessons from Gibbs, Ducky?"

"It is not my fault that you are exceptionally unperceptive Tony," smiled Ducky, noticing that Tony was avoiding the question. "Where is Jethro anyway?"

"He disappeared over an hour ago," said Ziva, looking from Tony to McGee, "I wasn't here, all I know is I haven't seen him and I was all over the Navy Yard until about half an hour ago."

"This girl appeared looking for you, and they both just took off," added McGee, "She said something about personal and professional live clashing or something."

Ducky tried to keep the shock off his face. There were only two people that that description could apply to, and only one who had reason to be there. There must have been some change in Jennifer's condition – they couldn't risk passing information frequently since the subject of said conversations was supposed to be dead. So far, no news was good news.

Ducky smiled, trying to cover up his shock and asked, "Amanda dropped by for a visit then?"

"You know her?" asked Tony, spinning round to face Ducky, "I mean she knows you and went to look for you so obviously you know her. Abby was kind of sketchy on the details when we asked. But, you _know her_?"

Ducky help up a hand to stop Tony's rambling. When he shut up Ducky smiled mysteriously, "Well, I should hope I do. She is my niece after all."

Before anyone could make a remark to that comment, the elevator door pinged open and Gibbs stormed out with a worried looking Amanda jogging after him both holding cups of what looked like coffee. Gibbs walked past Ducky straight to his desk while Amanda stopped at Ducky's shoulder. Gibbs grabbed his gun, badge and jacket before almost running from the bullpen and back towards the elevator.

When Gibbs ran past, Amanda turned to Ducky and said in a tone similar to Abby when she was worried, "I don't know what happened. We were in the lift when he got a phone call and he just clammed up! Kind of reminds me of then he got the call about _thingy_" she looked at Ducky, reluctant to say the name of the mission out loud, "but I don't see Vance sending Gibbs away on some mission without telling his team."

Ducky grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the stairs, "We'll catch him at his car. The stairs are much faster."

As Ducky and Amanda rushed off the three agents looked at each other, confusion and worry clear on all their faces.

What the hell had just happened?

* * *

Amanda and Ducky walked out into the dark parking garage to see Gibbs leaning against his car. They walked over to him in silence, both men having no idea what was going to happen next.

"Go back to your house. Get enough stuff for about two weeks. We'll meet you at Grandma's." Amanda's voice was different from what they'd both heard earlier. She was in spy-mode and wouldn't say anything without knowing who might be listening.

"Duck, I don't blame you for not telling me," said Gibbs sincerely, looking at his old friend. It wasn't his call, and Gibbs had kept secrets from him too. He was still reeling from the news, and if he was honest with himself, he was still numb from the shock and couldn't react the way anyone expected him to.

"Jethro, I couldn't have told you anything if I wanted to," sighed Ducky, "All I knew was she that was alive and getting treatment. Somehow I think that wouldn't have helped the situation."

"We can talk about it more at Grandma's," said Amanda with finality, giving both men the glare she'd learnt from Gibbs. "I'm pretty sure someone will come looking for you. Hopefully it's Abby."

And with that she turned on her heel and walked towards a metallic blue Mini One. Gibbs sighed and both men shook their heads. As Ducky opened the door to his Morgan he looked over at Gibbs and laughed, "She might look like her mother but she's her father all over again."

* * *

The elevator doors to the garage opened, just in time for Abby to see Gibbs speeding out of the complex.

She sighed, stood back in the elevator and pulled out her phone. She opened her phonebook and scrolled to the third name, Amanda. She clicked call and held the phone to her ear,

"So...how long are you three going to be gone for this time?"

* * *

**Sooo...what'd you think?**** Btww it's ice-cream! I prefer Phish Food personally...**

**Phish Food – Chocolate Ice Cream with Gooey Marshmallow & Caramel Swirls & Fudge Fish**

**Turtle Soup – Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge-Covered Caramel Cashews & a Caramel Swirl**

**I think that turned out okay... **

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! **

**HesMines x**


	3. Flight

**Hiyaa! Happy New Year! **

**Well, Christmas holidays very good – I managed to finish the next chapter of Back to the War and up to chapter five of this! By the waaay...I had eight inches of snow and a white Christmas – feeling very pleased with myself lol**

**I really hate holiday homework =[ Thanks to everyone who alerted me! I feel loved! **

**Pandora of Ithilien, .BacK, Levana Fay...Thank yhooo for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer – I own nada!**

**Random little bit of information – Judgement Day took place in May so Paris Never Dies takes place in January.**

* * *

The BAe HS125 CC3 sped through the air, making this journey for the second time. Almost invisible in the early morning sky, it quickly left Quantico (and several confused Marines) behind...

"My dear, you really need to tell me how you do this." smiled Ducky about ten minutes after the plane had taken off.

"I'm like Dad," shrugged Amanda taking a sip of her coffee. Unsurprisingly, it was black coffee – after spending so long around Gibbs she'd picked up more than just his glare. "Unlike Mum and Lucy we have a tendency to get things back in one piece. It comes in handy when you're calling in favours or asking the boss for something. They'd get the basic jet, whereas I get the VIP plane."

She shook her head. She really didn't understand her mum and sister sometimes. Whereas they would blow the door off a safe, she'd pick the lock. People were surprised that someone who looked so much like her mother was capable of being _subtle_.

"Right, you're both going to have to know our cover story." smiled Amanda getting down to business. She handed Gibbs and Ducky the case files, "Right, we couldn't exactly hospitalize her under 'Jennifer Sheppard' so she's Jenny Simmons, maiden name Tibbs. Sound familiar?"

"Timothy's book?" nodded Ducky, it was ingenious. He guessed they'd have admitted her as 'Joanne Simmons' if Amanda had thought they'd get away with it. But he thought that with the amount of medication she'd be on it'd be too risky relying on her to remember to answer to Joanne and not Jenny.

"Yip, McGee's going to have to add an epilogue." Amanda shook her head. This sounded like something that could only happen in fiction. Someone had said the character of LJ Tibbs wasn't realistic – he'd ran into Gibbs a few weeks later when he was looking for Mr. Gemcity. He'd wanted an interview. Yeah, that comment was retracted pretty quickly when the guy claimed he'd finally _met_ an ex-marine.

Needless to say there was no interview with McGee.

"Jethro, you and Jen have been together about twenty four years, married eighteen. She had me when she was twenty, but you weren't married till she was twenty three. Abby's my big sister, but I wasn't very specific about ages and stuff. It's good to have a sibling, and since they'll never meet Abby I could say whatever I wanted. She's CEO of an American law firm, we got relocated two years ago when she found out she was ill because they're pioneering the treatment in Europe. Two months before she was admitted to this hospital she was shot by a drug lord who was pissed off at her firm because they had put him out of business. There's paperwork to back it all up."

She paused while Gibbs and Ducky briefly looked over the first few pages of the case file. When Gibbs turned to the page on him he was startled to see a picture of him from his marine days. He looked up at Amanda to see her smirking slightly, looking very pleased with herself, "Jethro Simmons. Marine, been working overseas for the past eighteen months, is on a flight home as we speak. You know Mum's getting treatment, but you don't know she was shot. Ducky, you're his brother. You're a doctor. Abby's been staying with you since last year because she couldn't handle seeing Mum like that. You've been looking after her and Mum's elderly mother while we're on a different continent. Grandma and Abby are away for a few weeks so you thought you'd visit Mum."

"They're away with some ladies from her book club and they're going to meet the _famous_ _writer_ Thom E. Gemcity. Abby has a _massive_ crush on him. They'll be gone for a few weeks so you thought you'd visit Mum." Amanda was struggling to hold back the laughter. Creating the cover story had been what had kept her sane while Jenny was fighting for her life those first few days, but it had her in hysterics now. Abby might just...

No. She _will _kill her when she finds out.

Ducky and Gibbs weren't much better, the merging of Timothy's fictional world with the cover was comical. This was the side of Amanda that very few people saw – the girl would could take anything serious and turn it into a laugh. She just had to let her hair down first.

Pretty similar to Jen, mused Gibbs but then he realised she'd probably picked that up from Jen. Jenny had been part of Amanda's life since she was nine, so he wouldn't put it past Jen to teach the younger girl some tricks. They both had 'work masks' that they liked to hide behind, and if you didn't know them you took that for the real person.

"McGee is going to flip and DiNozzo will never let him live it down," said Gibbs, shaking his head. He already got enough stick for his books, but it getting used as a cover for the people it was based on? That might just push him over the edge.

"Who is the doctor in charge of Jennifer anyway?" asked Ducky after taking a few minutes to compose himself.

"It's Josh. He's the only person I'd trust enough to look after her apart from you. But since you weren't exactly available...Oh, that's another thing." said Amanda suddenly, "We only met six months ago and have a purely professional relationship. And he's twenty four, not twenty two. You can only fast-track someone so much without causing suspicion. Same with me, I'm _supposedly_ too young to have a PhD, but I've been studying stuff at that level since I was like fifteen."

"Josh? I recognise that name..." said Gibbs slowly.

"You would," said Amanda giggling, "he's the one you and Jenny scared the living daylights out of a year ago!"

"Ah," was all Gibbs said. He remembered Amanda calling to say she wanted them to meet her new boyfriend. And could they _please_ be nice, they'd been together a year and she really didn't want her crazy family to scare him off.

"He thought I was kidding too...I _warned_ him." she sighed, she still couldn't believe it. It's usually best to trust the spy when your life's in danger – but no he _had_ to doubt her! When she saw the confused look on Ducky's face she explained, "Grandma's not as crazy as she makes out. You listen to Ducky, he always has a point. Yes, Abby _is_ for real. Jenny isn't as innocent as she looks, and yes...Jethro _will_ eat you."

***

"Anyone know where the Boss is?" Tony asked, finally voicing the thought that had been running through the three agent's heads.

McGee looked up from his half-completed paperwork and looked from Tony to Ziva. When it was clear that they were just as clueless as him he asked, "Well, what do we know?"

"Nothing. He ran out of here yesterday and hasn't been seen since. Same with Ducky. He followed him and no one's seen either of them since." answered Tony immediately. He hated just sitting around in the dark. For all he knew Gibbs could be in trouble or something, or off on another Margarita Safari. "You think Vance knows?"

"You tell me and we'll both know DiNozzo." remarked Vance as he walked into the bullpen. The team knew something was up. Unlike Jenny, Leon Vance was rarely in the squad room. "Got a call from SecNav last night, apparently he needs Gibbs and Ducky's help with some mission and they'll be gone for about a month. Until they're back, DiNozzo you're in charge up here and Palmer will be in charge of Autopsy as long there aren't too many bodies. If that happens we'll bring in an ME from another area."

Ignoring the surprised looks on the team's faces, Vance turned on his heel and started to go back upstairs to the 'sanctuary' of his office and the mountain of paper work that awaited him. As he left, he really wished that SecNav would find a replacement for him already.

Not that he'd give the job up to just anyone – Jenny would come back and haunt him – but he preferred his old job. He'd had less responsibility and less paperwork. It had been more secure and there'd been more time to spend with his family but he'd had about the same status.

What he really wanted to know how Jenny had managed. It was almost impossible walking in her size six designer heels!

*******

"I'm just going to check on Mrs. Simmons." said the young nurse to no one in particular. She cast a glance at Josh, who was currently reading a patient's chart. She knew he had the chart she needed, and with a smile walked over to him. He'd give into her charms eventually.

"Erm, I need that." She said sweetly and grinned at him. Josh looked up and handed the chart to her silently, and turned back to the conversation he was having with a motherly looking nurse. Her smile faltered slightly and with a huff stalked off towards the woman's room.

The older nurse looked after the young blonde and smiled. It was no secret that the younger woman had a thing for the young doctor standing in front of her. He said he was single, and no he wasn't dating, but she had a funny feeling that he had his eye on a certain young lady, "On the subject of Mrs. Simmons, you any idea where her daughter's been the past few days? Normally she's here every night at least but I haven't seen her for about three days."

"Nope, maybe something came up at work," shrugged Josh non-committingly, but Gillian saw the hint of sadness that flashed through his eyes as he said it, "She knows her mother's going to be fine. She doesn't need to be here every day."

"You like her," smiled the older woman. It was clear from the way he looked at her. They'd bonded in the six months her mother had been under his care and now that her mother was on the road to recovery she thought he should make a move fast, before she got away. "You know, no girl can say no to dinner."

Gillian had expected him to deny it and maybe blush, but instead he looked at her through narrow eyes and said, "I'm her mum's doctor, that's it," before turning on his heel and walking away.

Gillian sighed...he had it bad.

She followed the younger woman to Mrs. Simmons' room. She knew you weren't meant to get too involved with your patients, but when you worked in a long-term ward and saw the same faces everyday it was kind of hard not to. However, she had grown _very_ attached to the Simmons'.

She wasn't sure what it was...

She was in awe of the woman – she knew what she had would eventually kill her if the trials didn't work but she was so _stubborn_. She refused to let it beat her; that was something a lot of people could learn from. Then there was the girl....

She felt sorry for her, but was amazed by her at the same time – her sister had been shipped back home when her mother started deteriorating because she couldn't handle it, her father had been god-knows-where for the past eighteen months with the Navy, she was isolated in a foreign country and her life seemed to revolve around work and visiting her mother. She had gone out on a few occasions but it was probably nothing compared to the social life she'd had before or the one she could have had here.

She knew they didn't want or need her pity. But she had grown close to them all the same. It's just something that happens when you spend almost every day for six months with someone. Gillian remembered the first time Amanda had sat by her mother's bedside waiting for her to wake up. She had looked so small and vulnerable compared to the stubborn, independent woman she'd known for the first few weeks.

"_Darling, you'll drive yourself crazy sitting there." She'd smiled at the young girl curled up in the chair beside the bed. _

_This ward had no specific visiting hours, there were guidelines for people other than immediate family but it was pretty much you visited when they were up to it. Lots of family members stayed the night or only left to sleep, but there was something about the young girl sitting there on a Friday night that seemed wrong._

"_I'm not moving. I've got this," she gestured to the book in her hands, it was the third book in the Deep Six series, her American accent thick with sleep, "I'll be fine."_

_Gillian had a funny feeling that the book was going to sit at that page all night. She walked fully into the room and sat on the other chair. She wasn't used to teenagers (the girl may have been twenty but according to Jenny's records her birthday had only been about three months before) refusing to leave. Some of them couldn't handle seeing their family like that and felt guilty for wanting out of there, others wanted to stay but knew they shouldn't. Amanda, however, was nothing like that._

"_She'll be out for a while," she'd sighed as she studied the girl in front of her. Something about her was off, she seemed too grown up. You could see she was affected and trying to hide it. It was odd, "I'd tell you to go home and get some sleep in a proper bed but I know you won't leave. How's your family doing? They must be worried sick about you both."_

_Amanda had nodded, biting her lip. She was letting her guard down as she looked at Jenny, seeing something that the Gillian couldn't, "Abby doesn't know. If this works I'll tell her but she'd worry while it was happening and it would crush her if it didn't. This way's kinder."_

_She paused to gather her thoughts and Gillian let her. This was part of the job – you have to care as much for the families as you do the patients. They might not be ill, but they're affected just as much._

"_Dad...knows about the treatment." She heard Amanda pause, and wasn't one hundred percent sure that she was telling the truth, "I can't keep him as updated as I'd like. Time Zones and work and... It's complicated. He doesn't know about the shooting. He doesn't know she's on this trial. He's in the dark. He'd come home. And even though I might want him here sometimes, Mom doesn't." _

_Amanda sounded resigned, as if she couldn't do anything. Gillian expected Amanda to at least have tears in her eyes but she was looking out the window, lost in her thoughts. She knew there was nothing she could say; sometimes all you could do was listen._

"_You think I'm bad?" she laughed suddenly. There was no humour in her laugh, as if what she was thinking was meant to be funny but she couldn't quite manage it, "Dad would be even worse. He doesn't like things that are out of his control, things he can't fight. Things like that scare him...Hell, I'm the same way. We can't protect Mom from her own body...but I'm more adaptable. I can handle this because I know there's a chance it'll work. I know this our best shot."_

"_You said you had an Uncle. What about him?" Gillian was starting to really admire the girl now. She seemed to be alone, yet coping. Many of the forty-something's that came in here had trouble with that._

"_I phone him a lot." She smiled genuinely for the first time since her mother had started the trial, "he's a doctor. My friends keep me sane...but he stops my mind going into meltdown."_

"_Do you ever think that...maybe...you're a bit young for all this?" Gillian asked carefully, watching the girl closely. It seemed like she was coping but you could never be sure..._

"_I'm twenty, not twelve. I'm a big girl." Amanda smiled mysteriously, as if there was some joke she was missing out on. "I know people younger than me who've had to deal with more. I'll be fine, just gotta get my bearings."_

Yes, there was something different about those two. It wasn't necessarily _bad_, just _different_. As Gillian walked into the room, her eyes drifted towards the seat near Jenny's head that was usually occupied by Amanda.

After so many months of seeing Amanda sitting there, it was unnatural to _not_ see her. After staying by her side through it all, she thought it was a little strange that Amanda would disappear now that Jenny was going to be okay. Normal logic would say that she'd be here even more. The fear of her not being there the next day didn't just disappear. It took weeks at least for the reality to sink in – for the patient and their families.

Gillian arranged the pillows under the sedated redhead, trying to make her more comfortable. When she was satisfied that she'd be comfortable for now, she leaned back and studied her face. With the morning sunlight streaming through the windows, it just looked like she was sleeping, "Come on, darling, I'm missing something here," she whispered, "Where's your girl disappeared to?"

**[Insert DUN]**

What Gillian didn't know was that five minutes after her conversation with Amanda, Josh had walked into the room to question her himself. He'd overheard Gillian tell another nurse about how well Amanda was coping, and that it was such a shame that she was isolated here and decided he needed to talk to her himself...

"_What was all that?" he smiled as he leaned against the doorframe._

"_I'm supposed to be the worried, scared daughter who has no idea what's going on. I'm expected to fall to pieces." She answered in a dull voice, switching back to her Scottish accent, her eyes never leaving the book in her hands. She grinned suddenly, "You can come in you know, I don't bite...Much."_

_Josh pushed off the doorway and walked into the room smiling. This was the Amanda he'd fallen in love with. The girl who was tough and could look after herself...but still cried at sad films. The girl who could be talking about something serious...but ends up in fits of giggles. _

"_So you're not worried in the slightest?" his tone was teasing, but he knew that was probably the easiest way to get anything out of her. It was hard trying to get around the spy instincts, but once you'd broken down the walls you just had to hope she'd let you back in._

"_Of course I'm worried," she sighed, putting the bookmark back in place and putting it down on the table beside her. She turned to look at Josh as he sat in the chair that Gillian had just vacated, "Scared and worried? Hell yeah. Daughter? Nuh uh. Not by blood anyway. I let her see how I feel...kind of. Did you really expect me to break down?"_

"_If you had I'd have you up in the psych ward by now!" laughed Josh. He wasn't sure whether working with her was a good thing or not. He got to see her more, and he was also pretty sure that nothing could hurt her going from the hospital to the house they were staying in. But he only saw her when he was checking on Jenny or 'discussing' Jenny – unless they were at home or off duty. Moments like these were few and far between. It really wasn't that different from any other op – except much safer, "What're you reading?"_

"_The third Deep Six. Abby sent it to me." Amanda shrugged, thinking along the same lines as Josh, "I'm not that far along, chapter four. So far it's summarised the last book, and some randomer's found a body in this guy's swimming pool. Jethro's dumped Hollis and there's someone with a grudge against him so I'm guessing that's the main plot. Oh, and Jenny's just appeared in Jethro's basement and is threatening to set his boat on fire if he doesn't listen to her. Jenny dies by the end of the book, and there are no spoilers for that bit. Not even a _**whisper**_ of a major character death, so it should come as a surprise."_

"_Well, have fun. And _**try**_ to get some sleep. Please?" He sighed, knowing that it was futile. She wouldn't admit it, but he knew she was terrified that Jenny wouldn't be there when she woke up, "she'll still be here in the morning. I'd better go before they send someone in here or the rumours start circulating."_

"_Rule number eighteen. And what do you mean _**start**_?" laughed Amanda shaking her head, apparently they were 'going at it' in the on-call room. She wasn't that desperate yet, maybe in a few weeks when she hasn't actually _**seen**_ him for a while because he has to keep working night shift... "Just do me a favour and stay away from that blonde. If I overhear one more conversation about how nice your ass is, she's going out the nearest window."_

* * *

**According to the RAF website, the BAe HS125 CC3 "can accommodate up to six passengers and their luggage...regularly provides a passenger service to the Royal Family, Government ministers and senior military officers...operated throughout the world in the VIP role."**

**When Amanda says 'rule #18' she means that she's not going to sleep. Josh doesn't know the rules like the team ... he takes it as one of her random habits. **

**Okay...I have a question so leave your answer in a review. I wanna know what you think! x**

_Do you want me to include any other ships? It can be implied or I can get them together, your choice. _

**I think that turned out okay... **

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! 3) I appreciate your opinion! **

**HesMines x**


	4. Worries

**Hiyaa! **

**My laptop keeps acting up. I spent three hours putting all my junk on it last night. Had a panic attack when i found out Microsoft Word hadn't been reinstalled. Found it...it's all good heehee**

**Thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited me! I feel loved! **

**outlawcowboy62, TomorrowNeverCame, Pandora of Ithilien, badprobiemcgee, Levana Fay, NCISexy... Thank yhooo for the reviews! **

**MASSIVE thank you to Levana Fay. I was seriously out of names, but you saved the day =D Thank yhooooo! The blonde nurse is now called Haley.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own it. Why do you think we have to write these things? They killed Jenny off :( She's hiding out in Paris. *sticks tongue out at script writes* Ha.**

* * *

"You ever get the feeling something bad is about to happen?" said Amanda suddenly, refusing to look at Ducky or Gibbs. Both men had been looking over the case files, trying to get up to date and prepare for visiting Jenny. They both looked at Amanda worriedly, as a spy she went on instinct and seeing that look on her face was never a good thing.

"What makes you think that?" asked Ducky, studying her closely, trying to figure out what exactly was bothering her.

"Gut feeling," she sighed, looking back up at Ducky and Gibbs. She really didn't want to be right, they were already running out of time, "This went too smoothly. I just know _something's_ going to happen. Not to Jenny," she added quickly, seeing the panicked look on Gibbs' face, "she's fine. Seriously, it got to the point I knew what was going on before the doctors did cos I was that attuned to her...No, something's got to happen to _us_."

As if on cue, the co-pilot exited the cockpit and approached them. He looked apprehensive, but then again he knew what kind of people he was transporting. "I have some bad news..."

Amanda didn't give him a chance to continue – she groaned and banged her head against the table. All Gibbs, Ducky and the pilot could hear was a muffled, "_Aww fur fucks sake_!" from under Amanda's arms.

***

Josh stood in the staff room, absentmindedly staring out the window. He'd completely forgotten about the cup of coffee in his hands and was more concerned about the fog descending around the hospital. Amanda had a few hours safe time left, but she'd only be about halfway across the Atlantic right now. If the weather didn't clear up soon she wouldn't get back within the timeframe.

He was suddenly shaken from his worrying when Gillian appeared next to him and repeated his name. "Sorry, I was in a world of my own. What's up?" he asked, turning to face her. Her normally calm face was slightly worried, and he knew what had happened before she began to speak.

"Mrs. Simmons is showing signs of waking up. It'll be a few hours before she begins to regain consciousness, but are you _sure_ you don't know where Amanda is?" Her words were hesitant, as if she was weighing her words carefully. He didn't exactly blame her – 1) he'd been snappy when she'd brought Amanda up a few hours before, and 2) they'd prefer that Jenny wasn't completely alone when she woke up. Although it was for very different reasons.

"Nope, sorry. I'm pretty sure she mentioned something about work, but don't quote me on it," he sighed, it looked like Amanda's timeframe just became even smaller, "Keep an eye on her. I want to know how her body's coping and if anything gets too out of sync."

As Gillian walked out the room, Josh looked at the coffee in his hand before throwing the cardboard cup into the bin and looking out the window again. He tried to make _something_ out in the dense fog, but all he could see was his own reflection. Knowing he was alone in the room, he whispered the words he'd been thinking for the past two days, "Hurry up Mandy, it's _you_ she needs."

***

"What's really bothering you?" asked Ducky, cornering Amanda as she got a bottle of water from the mini-fridge further up the plane, "Jethro and I both know something is bothering you, but we're coming up blank. He won't admit it," he added as he turned to look at Jethro who was intently reading the case file for the fifth time, "but the thought that he just got Jennifer back and is about to lose her again terrifies him."

"Urgh," Amanda groaned as she slumped against the wall and ran her hands through her hair. She looked up at the older spy, willing him to understand, "it's nothing to do with Jenny. Well, it is but it's not. Not like _that_ anyway."

"My dear, you are starting to sound like your grandmother," smiled Ducky, referring to his mother's habits of talking in riddles and expecting people to understand her. He didn't mean his sister – to Amanda she was just a relative...she wasn't family. He waited patiently knowing that he didn't have to say anything.

"I had roughly a seventy two hour time frame. We were never getting back before sixty eight hours into it, so it was always going to be close. We're in sixty nine just now, and if it wasn't for the weather we'd land in about an hour and a half. We'd be at the hospital within two hours of now. But this weather is going to hold us up. I don't think we're gonna make it." She looked Ducky in the eye, the vulnerability obvious in her eyes. He was slightly unnerved. If you had asked him nine months ago he couldn't have told you the last time Amanda felt vulnerable...but he had seen this look in her eyes far too many times in the past eight months.

He hadn't exactly been enthusiastic about her getting this job. You could throw the toughest and most impossible job you had and she'd handle it perfectly. He worked best under pressure. It wasn't that she wasn't capable. No, the emotional strain was hard for more experienced agents to cope with, and she'd only been classed as 'officially active' for about three years. She wasn't a silly little girl – she never had been – but sitting in a hospital for months on end as every trial failed was something _he_ would have struggled with.

He was finding it hard to lie to his best friend – his _brother_ – and the rest of his extended family. But Amanda knew more...she had had to lie to her second-father, and was pretty much isolated from talking to anyone because no one knew. Her parents were working in Italy (something to do with the Mafia and increased activity on British soil), her sister was in Russia (he had a vague idea of what she was up to and didn't want to know the details) and, well, his sister was a waste of space who despised the fact that she couldn't have a 'normal' family.

Five generations of spies...and she decides that because she doesn't want to be one, no one else should be. She didn't worry about the danger; in her eyes if they got themselves killed they deserved it – she just wanted to control everyone.

Either way, he knew that this was probably the only way it would have worked. Amanda would never have settled for sitting on the sidelines, and Jenny would clam up and hide her feelings and do herself more damage in the long run. Both women hated feeling weak, but didn't class it as that in front of people they trusted.

"If we get diverted, or we're delayed, we're _screwed_." Amanda's desperate tone cut through his thoughts and brought him back to reality. He still wasn't any the wiser on what was so time dependant.

Before he could ask, Amanda continued, "When I left she'd been in a medically induced coma for about two weeks. Josh doesn't want to keep her out any longer than three. With the amount of drugs getting pumped through her in the past eight months I understand _perfectly_. She'll probably never be able to take paracetamol again." she laughed, this time with unexpected humour, "But the main reason is after about two and a half weeks she's starting to wake herself up. He could give her stronger stuff but he's not going to unless he has to. If we don't make it back in time there's a pretty good chance she's waking up alone."

Ducky knew from the look on Amanda's face that _that_ was something they wanted to avoid at all costs. Why, he wasn't sure...but if it made her look like that it was most definitely _bad_.

**[Insert DUN]**

Abby was sitting in her back office, something that rarely happened. She was leaning back in her chair looking at a picture on her screen. It was the most recent picture she had of her and Amanda – the sister she'd never had – and she thought that if she concentrated hard enough on the picture she would understand what was happening.

"_You_ are up to something," she smirked at Amanda's smiling face before sighing and studying the picture again.

They were standing on either side of Gibbs, forcing him into a hug. Amanda was wearing a purple cocktail dress and really high heels while Abby was wearing a tiny black dress and massive platforms. Gibbs was trying his hardest to look like he wasn't happy with the situation, but had failed miserably and couldn't conceal the amused smile on his face. Amanda had flown out especially for Abby's birthday. As she looked at the picture she smiled, replaying the night in her mind.

"_I've got a surprise for you," smirked Gibbs as he guided Abby into the lounge while they were waiting for their table._

_Abby turned to look at him incredulously, her eyebrows raised. He'd already given her her present, and he was paying for tonight no matter how much she objected – and this place wasn't exactly cheap. What else did he have up his sleeve? Before she could ask, a voice from behind her squealed, "Abby!" _

_She turned, immediately recognising the voice, and saw Amanda, in a short-ish purple dress and heels to rival hers, leaving a bemused waiter holding her coat. She let out her own squeal of "Mandy!" before running to meet her in the middle and engulfing her in a hug. _

Amanda had basically told her nothing. Don't try and track us – we'll scramble the signals. We'll be gone about three weeks to a month – I'll tell you when they're coming home. If anyone asks, you don't know anything.

It sounded like the same story she always got –don't try and track me, _please_ don't worry...I'll be careful – but there was something different this time. Amanda had never _said_ there were risks involved, but Abby knew that there were. She was worried that, at some point, Amanda would go off on a job and not come back.

_Abs, _**please**_ don't worry._

Abby looked over the top of her computer to see Amanda staring imploringly at her. She knew it couldn't be her. Abby shook her head and reminded herself that Amanda was on a plane to somewhere with Gibbs and Ducky right now. And there was no way she'd just walk into the Navy Yard wearing the same outfit as she was in the photo. It was just her overactive imagination. She looked up again, but the fake Amanda didn't disappear. Its voice was distorted, exactly the same as Amanda's had been when she'd spoken those words over the phone a few hours ago.

_The biggest danger this time is Jethro's driving. You'll get us all back in one piece._

Even though she knew it wasn't real Abby couldn't stop the words, "How do you know? I've already lost Jenny and Kate on supposedly harmless missions."

The spectere opened her mouth then froze. It slowly closed its mouth again, lost for words, and shrugged before disappearing. She didn't know if she actually expected it to respond – it only knew as much as she did.

Abby sighed as she leaned forward and changed the screen back to the normal desktop. She could worry later, but right now she was overdue a visit from Tony and didn't think that a picture like that would help her 'in the dark' story. He'd already interrogated her and she didn't think he totally believed her...

* * *

**Right, we've still got a little bit to go until Jenny and Gibbs get their reunion lol the plot bunnies won't leave me alone! heehee**

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! **

**HesMines x**


	5. Panic Stations

**Hiyaa!!**

**Pandora of Ithilien, JIBBS THE UBBERCOUPLE, badprobiemcgee, Levana Fay, YourFavoriteLabPartnerEver – Thank yhooo for the reviews! And everyone whos favorited and alerted me =D**

**Right, for once I'm gonna cut the small talk and just give you the chapter heehee One thing you need to know...Josh's second name is Taylor – his cover is Josh McGregor (more Deep Six heehee) He's refered to as Dr. McGregor in this chapter, but in the next chapter he answers his phone as 'Taylor' just so no one gets confused. Oh, and here's some tanslations you'll need (I have no idea what it is with me and the French – it just happens) They might give some of the plot for this chapter away...**

**Ma faute = My fault**

**Je mérite ce = I deserve this**

**Il sera plus heureux sans moi! = He'll be happier without me!**

**Ce n'est pas et vous n'avez pas! = It's not and you don't!**

**Vous savez c'est pas et vous le savez vous pas! = You know it's not and you know you don't!**

**Il tombe en morceaux = He's falling to pieces**

**C'est un gâchis sans vous! = He's a mess without you!**

* * *

The shiny black Corsa sped through the dark streets, and for once it wasn't Gibbs behind the wheel.

"Is there a reason you finally decided to try my way of driving?" asked Gibbs as Amanda skidded around another corner, trying to suppress a laugh at the look on Ducky's face. He knew she coud drive like this, she just prefered to remain inconspicuious.

And '_his way of driving'_ was thirty per hour miles ago.

Amanda looked in the rear view mirror and glanced at Ducky, something which didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs. He knew they were hiding something and was about to demand they tell him what the hell it was when Amanda started talking again, "I have a seventy two hour timeframe. We have about ten minutes left and we're still about twenty minutes away from the hospital. Even with this driving."

Gibbs tensed as fear suddenly flooded through him. That didn't sound good, and he didn't want to risk Jenny as soon as he got her back. He growled, "What timeframe?" while wishing that everything wasn't going to fall apart. He knew that Amanda wouldn't lie to him about Jenny's condition, but he wouldn't be satisfied until he saw her for himself and had had Ducky look over her. Amanda was silent for a moment and the only noise was the roar of the engine as she accelerated even more. When she didn't answer and wouldn't look at him, he shouted, "Dammit Amanda, what timeframe!"

"The time before there's a pretty good chance she'll wake up alone." Amanda said finally with no emotion in her voice. Gibbs recognised that tone and tensed, knowing that nothing good could come of that outcome. "She shouldn't be waking up right now but there's no way I'm taking any chances."

He turned and looked out the window, secretly glad that he was the passenger this time. As well as having no idea where he was going, he'd probably have snapped by now. Not that he'd ever admit it. As the dark shapes blurred past them, he hoped that for once things would turn out okay.

***

As Gillian walked by the nurses' station heading back towards Mrs. Simmons' room, she noticed that it was only her, Josh and Haley on duty tonight. There were others on call but this wasn't a busy ward, they'd come in if they were needed. Twelve hours with the desperate blond nurse who couldn't take a hint and the young uninterested dark-haired doctor. Joy.

As if she _needed_ more of a headache.

She couldn't stop the worry that was at the back of her brain – it wouldn't be a good thing for Jennifer to wake up without her daughter close by. Jennifer didn't exactly wake up peacefully, most patients don't, but she was particularly bad. Amanda could usually calm her down, but the one occasion when Amanda had left (well, it was more like she had been _dragged_ away by Josh) Jennifer had let the hysteria take over. Watching someone begging for their husband, crying their eyes out and mumbling incoherently isn't something you ever get used to. And it's not something that your child should have to see...

***

The Corsa skated to a stop as Amanda aimed it at the empty space. She quickly turned the engine off and jumped from the car before Gibbs and Ducky had registered that the car had stopped. Once she was outside her eyes automatically went to Jenny's window.

Part of her registered Gibb's slamming the car door and asking her what was wrong, but all she could process was that Jenny's light was on. She couldn't move...fear glued her to the spot as she thought through what could possibly be going on. She took a few steps forward, oblivious to Gibbs and Ducky's worry before she whispered "Shit" and broke into a run, heading for the front entrance.

Without thinking twice Gibbs ran after her. He knew a reaction like this meant bad news, but he needed to know _how_ bad the news was. The first thing she'd been taught was you have to stay inconspicuous. He caught up with her as she reached the revolving doors, he grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him, the worry clear on his face.

"It was a signal from Josh," she whispered, her American accent surprising Gibbs, "She's waking up. I've no idea what happened. Yes, I was worried something like this _might_ happen...but I meant if we were a few hours late. It shouldn't be happening this quickly!"

***

Once the elevator doors were firmly closed Amanda flicked the emergency stop, turned to Gibbs and Ducky and whispered quickly, "I've no idea what I'm walking into. This is her fifth trial. Jethro, do you remember waking up from either of your comas?"

"Now that I think about it, no." said Gibbs roughly, not liking where the conversation was going.

"Exactly, I don't exactly know how it works but neither of you remember anything." Her speed was increasing, as if she expected someone to want to use the elevator at ten past twelve at night. "After the first trial we realised how she would wake up – she'd sit straight up, be completely out of it and ask for you – but when she woke up after the third I wasn't there. Josh had dragged me away to 'save my sanity' and she woke up alone."

_The elevator doors opened and Amanda and Josh were greeted with a scream. Amanda launched herself down the corridor with Josh on her heels. When they got to Jenny's room, they were greeted with the sight of Gillian and Haley trying to restrain a thrashing Jenny. _

_Josh didn't have to see Amanda to know that she was a few seconds away from letting her instincts take over. While he knew it was sometimes better to switch to autopilot, he also knew that Amanda would probably go on the offensive and that the nurses would end up in the A&E. She would defend Jenny and do whatever it took to get them away from her..._

"She was completely alone. She started freaking out. She was hysterical by the time Gillian got to her. We were down in the canteen. There were five minutes between Gillian discovering her and me getting there. By that point she was rambling."

_Jenny started moaning, a fresh torrent of tears streaming down her face, "Jethro...Ma faute...Paris...je mérite ce...il sera plus heureux sans moi! Ma faute...ma faute..."_

"_No!" Amanda shouted from the door, making the nurses jump. Josh made a move to grab her when she stormed forward, but when she grabbed Jenny by the shoulders, pushed her back onto the pillows and shouted at her he stood back. "Ce n'est pas et vous n'avez pas!"_

_Josh motioned for Gillian and a scared looking Haley to leave the room, knowing that neither of the women in front of him would thank him for the audience. _

_Instead of fighting her, Jenny just cried more, repeating her mantra of 'ma faute'. Amanda looked at Jenny through disbelieving eyes and said calmly, "What do you want me to say? It's not your fault!" _

_She walked around the bed to grab a picture of Jenny and Gibbs that Abby had snapped a few weeks before her 'death'. They were standing the catwalk, their eyes on Gibbs' team below them. They looked completely at ease and were oblivious the camera trained on them from the elevator. Jenny's mantra got louder and Amanda turned around and shouted, "Vous savez c'est pas et vous le savez vous pas!"_

_Amanda showed Jenny the picture and dipped her head to her ear and whispered, "Il tombe en morceaux." Her tone was deadly, showing her true feelings about this arrangement. Her words were hard, leaving no room to doubt the truth of her words, "C'est un gâchis sans vous!"_

"It took me a good half hour to calm her down. I tried to stay calm, I really did. But some of the stuff she was coming out with...I ended up shouting at her. Nothing worked. I talked, I shouted. I told her she was wrong, I agreed with her. I bribed her, I threatened her...Eventually I got her calm enough to go back to sleep and when she woke up she couldn't understand why I looked so nervous. After _that_...I didn't want to leave her alone. This time I had no choice." Amanda turned around and flipped the switch, "You should prepare for the worst."

***

Haley looked up in shock as three figures stormed out the elevator. As Amanda made to walk towards Jenny's room, she put her arm in front of Amanda and smiled sweetly, "You can't just waltz right in. There are rules and, daughter or not, you need to follow it."

"_That_ is complete and utter rubbish and you know it," growled Amanda quietly, turning to glare at the smirking blonde. Haley might hate her because she thought she was the reason Josh wouldn't look twice at her (well, that was true), but she had no right to stop Amanda from seeing Jenny. The ward had an open door policy for family and this wasn't this first time she had appeared in the middle of the night. "If you want to keep that arm get out of my way. You might not like me, but that is _no_ reason to risk Mom's health."

"I'm following procedure," her fake smile made Amanda want to gag, and she was glad that Gibbs still had his gun on him. She might need to borrow it if he didn't shoot first. Haley caught sight of the dual glares she was receiving and the breath stopped in her throat – that look was terrifying. She took another breath and continued just as sweetly but without looking at Amanda or Gibbs, "Just because Dr. McGregor lets you act this way does not mean that –"

Amanda took at step towards her, effectively shutting her up. Amanda smirked at the look of terror on her face while she tried to reign in the urge to punch the annoying woman. Abby had mentioned a rule that Ziva had _'If it annoys you, kill it'_ and right now that was looking _very_ tempting. She opened her mouth to rip into her, but instead of her voice it was Josh's that echoed through the silent hall.

"Could you cut it any closer?"

Josh appeared at the end of the corridor, and ran down the length of it. When he got within six feet of the group the warning bells started going off – Amanda looked ready to murder the blonde in front of her, Gibbs looked like he was about to shoot someone, Ducky looked exasperated and Haley looked slightly embarrassed. He asked hesitantly, "What's going on?"

"Josh, hospital policy _clearly_ states that –" Haley begun quickly, trying to get Josh on her side.

Josh, realising exactly what had happened, cursed the girl's inability to realise he wasn't interested and stop acting so immaturely – he chalked it up to her hair colour, "This ward doesn't have visiting hours, it's an open door policy. And which part of 'take Miss Simmons straight to her mother's room if she arrives' meant 'refuse to let her in'? Just for future reference."

He threw an exasperated look at her before turning to look at Gibbs. He missed the smug smile that Amanda flashed at her. It said two things..._Nice try, bitch_ and _He's __**mine**_. "Sorry about this, Mr Simmons. I have a few things to discuss with your daughter, and then you can see your wife."

He grabbed Amanda by the arm and dragged her back the way he came, just out of the group's earshot, "Okay, fog I get...I don't know what the hell she thinks she's playing at. I'll get it sorted." He lowered his voice, and whispered urgently, "Jenny started waking up this afternoon. When we looked back at her heart rate and blood pressure we found out that everything started going up as soon as it was obvious you weren't coming in. We think that on some level she realised you were gone, started panicking again and is waking herself up. She's awake, just not conscious. We're pretty sure she'll react the same way as before, we're just waiting for the explosion."

Haley watched as Josh leaned down to talk to the brunette, anger slowly building. Amanda _knew_ he liked her, but she was just stringing him along. He wouldn't even look at anyone else! Yet _she_ was the bitch? She huffed and stormed off, wanting to get as far away from Amanda as possible. She might be pissed off and her pride might be more than a little hurt, but she knew that if it came to a fight Amanda would win hands down.

"Okay, I can deal with this," Amanda whispered back, glancing back at Gibbs and Ducky, "Ducky's a doctor. He can keep his cool. Jethro...I have no idea. He should be fine, he's coped with worse, but seeing her like that will definitely shake him. Having him here should help though. So...all we can do is wait?"

"Yeah," He noticed that her American act was firmly in place – her walls were back up. "It should be about half an hour at the most."

Suddenly, Gillian ran around the same corner as Josh had. She looked frantically down the corridor before shouting, "Doctor McGregor!"

Josh, reacting on instinct, reached out and grabbed Amanda's hand before hurtling towards Jenny's room. Gibbs and Ducky followed them, a sense of dread settling in the pits of their stomachs.

* * *

**Okay...you NEED to know this! You can't say I didn't warn you! The next chapter is NOT them seeing Jenny. I flashback to Judgement Day and you find out what really happened.** **Just so I don't get anyone's hopes up – I made that mistake with Back to the War. You've been warned heehee x**

**I might update a bit sooner though =P**

**I think that turned out okay... **

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! 3) I appreciate your opinion! **

**HesMines x**


	6. Judgement Day

**Hiyaaa! Told you I'd update sooner lol I'll put chapter 8 up next Friday!**

**I know...I'm evil.** **The next chapter will be the beginning of their reunion. Promise! Thanks yhooo for the reviews! ****MatteaAM****, ****YourFavoriteLabPartnerEver****, ****TomorrowNeverCame****, ****Pandora of Ithilien****, ****badprobiemcgee****, ****Levana Fay****! x3**

**I know a lot of people probably know this, but just for those of you who don't, in the UK you start high school when you're eleven/twelve-ish. Not completely sure about the US school system, but I know it's different from us...so...yeah....**

**Rule 11 – When the job is done, walk away.**

**The end is pretty angst-y, but it's Amanda's way of thinking. Without giving too much away, she was raised to be a spy and she applies that to every aspect of her life. 'Normal' doesn't apply to her. All she knows is that world. Ducky is part of that world. He has the same mindset and that's why he was able to keep Gibbs in the dark. Gibbs and Abby don't question it and they understand because that's just how she is – but Ducky is the only one who gets it. In general, Amanda doesn't show her feelings unless you get past her defenses. They're the only ones who have the power to hurt her or make her think about what she does. She **_**knows**_** she should tell Gibbs, but her priority is the mission at hand. If she's told not to tell him, no matter how much it hurts her, he'll never find out. Not from her.**

**God, it sounds depressing when I put it like that... Well, on with the chapter!**

* * *

**Jenny's Call**

"Bonjour!" Amanda could hear the smile in Jenny's voice as she spoke, but there was something lying beneath the cheery facade she was putting on. "How was France?"

"Hmmm....I miss Josh. It was okay though, same as always. Unlike the people who visit, Paris never changes." Amanda laughed as she leaned back in her chair, grateful for the interuption. No matter how much she loved her job, she hated the paperowork. _That_ was why she was sitting working at some random hour of the night and not in the very comfy looking bed. They put her up in a five star hotel...and she takes the couch. Typical. Glancing at the clock in the bottom corner of her laptop she noticed the time. 03:32. Something was definitely up.

"Okay, enough with the hints." Jenny's laugh was somewhat strained, setting off the alarm bells in Amanda's head, "Does Jethro get the same treatment?"

"Jenny, what's wrong?" Amanda's business-like tone cut through Jenny's pretences. It's a bad idea to lie to a human lie detector, "You don't phone at half three in the morning to talk about a routine job. Especially when I'm not even officially off the clock. What's up?"

"I need your help." Jenny's tone now matched Amanda's, both women wordlessly deciding to keep it strictly professional for the time being. Just asking on old friend for help, "I made a mistake years ago and it's come back to bite me in the ass. I need back up. Mike Franks is flying out but..."

"I get it. Invisible. Where are you?" Amanda grabbed her handbag from the floor and dropped in onto the table. She quickly searched through her bag for her passport and other phone, but before she could find either Jenny's words made her freeze.

"I'm in LA...I was at Decker's funeral."

"I heard." Will was one of those people that everyone seemed to like. It'd been a bit of a shock when Ducky had told her – as far as she could remember he was a total health freak. She figured he'd just let himself go in the past six years. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. "...He was murdered wasn't he?"

"They _said_ it was a heart attack." Jenny's words lingered heavily in the air for a moment, the implacation clear.

After a long moment Amanda finally answered, "Keep me updated on your location no matter how insignificant you think it is. Remember, I can track the GPS in your phone even if it's off, so don't try anything stupid. I'll tell you when we get to LAX – lucky for you I'm in San Diego."

***

**In the desert**

"You know...staring at my ass won't get the job done any quicker." Amanda smiled, waiting for the other spy's denial. In that sense she was the same as Jenny, she loved watching men squirm when she caught them out.

"I wasn't staring."

"Rule number seven." She stood back up and turned to look at the slightly older man – he was about the same age as her sister – with raised eyebrows. The sun was glaring down on them, and that idiot had thought he'd be smart cover up while she was wearing a tank top and shorts. No competition about who had the better view, "Always be specific when you lie."

"Rule number seven? Never heard of it." He replied, refusing to meet her eyes, "How many of these rules have you got?"

Amanda's eyes glinted micheviously behind her sunglasses, this guy had no idea how deep a hole he was digging himself. The sun was glaring down on them, all their equipment standing in the limited amount of shade provided by the rock, and the car was a few feet away. It was a bit more out in the open than she'd like, and she had a feeling that this was all going to go horribly wrong, but they didn't really have much choice.

"About fifty. Not my rules though." Amanda smirked, turning back to the computer screen in front of her, trying to ignore the feeling that was telling her to go down to the diner. Jenny was sitting talking to Mike about something. She couldn't lip read as well as Abby, but she was pretty sure she had seen the word 'Jethro' come up a few times. Everything _looked_ fine...

"Really?" he drawled sarcastically as she felt his eyes go back to her bum. He was really beginning to try her patience; she had never met someone so controlled by a certain part of his anatomy in her life. She was going to need to take a nice long shower as soon as this was over – just being in the same area as him was making her feel horrible, "What's twenty three then?"

It was clear from his question that he wasn't taking her seriously, or was insanely bored, but she sighed and answered, "Never mess with a marine's coffee if you want to live."

"You can't be serious."

"You ever give a caffeine-addicted marine decaf? Poor guy didn't know what hit him," she shook her head. _Burley_. She caught sight of movement in the camera's peripheral vision, "C'mere, something's happening."

***

**In The Helicopter**

"Mandy?" a semi-conscious Jenny groaned and tried to turn her head away from the bright light above her. "Jethro?"

"She's awake!" one of the agents surrounding her shouted up the helicopter to the cockpit. Amanda suddenly appeared in the doorway, the relief clear on her face. She all but ran the few feet, a million thoughts going through her head. One that kept cropping up was how the hell was she going to explain this to Jethro. "She's asking for Mandy and Jethro. Any idea who they are?"

She gave the agent an incredulous look before dropping into a crouch, missing the realisation as it swept across their face. She grabbed Jenny's hand and moved a stray lock of hair out of her face. Trying to ignore the doctors working on her just a few inches away, Amanda whispered, "What the _hell_ were you thinking Jen?"

"Mandy...call SecNav...tell him....tell him...to...tell everyone...I'm dead." Jenny's grip tightened on Amanda's hand as she struggled to get the words out and stay conscious.

"What? No!" That was exactly what she had been worrying about – Jen coming out with something stupid. She didn't really care about the looks she was getting from the other agents. This was family. She was allowed to react like this...the mask was allowed to slip, "I can't do that to Jethro! It'll kill him!"

"She's not...going to...stop...until...one of us...is dead." It was too much trying to keep her eyes open so she closed them but it didn't take anything away from her ability to argue.

"So? I'll put you in Witness Protection or _something_!" Amanda's mask slipped even more as her voice raised an octave and she realised what Jenny was asking her to do. "Who is she anyway?"

"Doesn't...matter...Jethro will...figure it out. Mandy, I could've...died in there...or...in six weeks...when she...caught up with me. I could...still die...six hours...six days...from all this."

"Don't think like that!" Amanda growled, she'd seen people like this – she'd had to watch her friends die, she'd killed people – but this was _so_ much worse. She tried to blink away the tears. She refused to cry in front of anyone, "You don't have _permission_ to die. Mine, Jethro's, Ducky's, SecNav's...whoever's."

"Amanda...either way...I'm gonna die...six years."

"Says who?" She hated to admit that Jenny was scaring her. She had her hand in a death-grip, trying to get Amanda to understand, "If this is some random fortune teller person...they are so anti-female. They aren't happy unless we're stuck at home with 2.4 kids!"

"Do you know what killed my mother?"

"No..." Amanda said hesitantly, terrified of what she was going to say next. And that scared her – she'd never felt this vulnerable before. Jenny'd managed a full sentence...it was obviously important, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I've got it...won't...put them...through...what I...went through...bad enough I'll...I'll have to...Jethro..."

"Will not survive someone else he loves dying! I can't do this to him!" She knew that that wasn't what Jenny was going to say, but this was her best defence. There were a lot of flaws in this plan. It was _not_ a good plan. Jethro seem like the best way to convince her not to do this, "I can't...I won't! You're asking me to sign his death warrant!"

"Mandy...please...won't make...watch me...my terms...dying anyway. They...won't lose me...twice... _Please_." Jenny's hand went limp as she lost her battle to stay conscious. As her hand went limp Amanda's mask fully slipped, her emotions plastered across her face. She couldn't bring herself to care that she was surrounded by other spies and doctors as she stared horror-struck at Jenny's face.

***

**Autopsy**

"Ducky?" Abby looked up at Ducky with bloodshot eyes. She was sitting in Autopsy, Ducky trying in vain to calm her down before she passed out from lack of oxygen, "What about Amanda? She needs to know. She should hear it from us...before she hears it somewhere else."

Ducky was quiet for a moment, thinking about how he would break the news to Amanda – the girl saw Jenny as a second mother... "I'll call her as soon as –"

_*Ring Ring*_

Both parties jumped at the sudden noise. Abby looked at the phone as if it might explode while Ducky slowly advanced towards it. "Autopsy?"

"Are you alone?" Amanda's voice was hard, and Ducky could hear that she was a mixture of pissed off and hiding her emotions. He knew then that she knew something – it was easier to be angry than admit you were vulnerable.

"Amanda." Abby looked from Ducky to the phone in his hand before letting out a sob and running from the room with her hands over her mouth trying to stop the rest, "I was just about to call you. Jennifer is –"

"Dammit, Ducky! Are you alone?" Ducky could hear something other than anger in her voice. Hurt...fear...self-loathing. They were all there but that didn't make any sense. That was Jennifer when she had last spoken to him. When he'd asked if she was planning on telling Jethro anytime soon. He was missing something...

"Yes. Abby just left. Amanda, Jennifer is –"

"In surgery. You have an autopsy to fake."

"She's okay?" Ducky couldn't keep the shock out of his voice; it'd been years since something like this had happened. Back during the Cold War people who were dead one day were alive the next, and people who were alive one day were dead the next. It was strangely reassuring that things hadn't changed that much since he had been one of the heroes.

"Of course, she's just _fine_," her voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Ducky inwardly cringed. Definitely pissed off... "She full of lead, she's lost a ton of blood, and thinks she's back in Paris. It was her idea to declare herself dead. Do you _think_ she's _okay_?! Oh, and we can't forget the fact that she's terminally ill!"

Ducky moved the phone away from his ear slightly as Amanda started shouting. He hoped there was nothing breakable near by...last time she had been this angry Gibbs had had to restrain her and talk her out of murdering Mikel Mawher. He heard her take a deep breath to calm down before she asked, "When were you planning on telling me?"

"It wasn't my place. Jethro doesn't know either." Ducky sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Why did he get the feeling that this wasn't going to be simple, "What's happening?"

"I don't know much...she's in surgery. Damn doctors won't say anything. What they do know that her illness will make things worse in any scenario. Whether it lengthens her recovery time at best or stops her pulling through at worst." Amanda sounded detached. Ducky was suddenly more worried about her than Jenny – repressing this would not do anyone any favours, "They've suggested she starts trials in the UK. She's not getting a choice, I've signed her up."

Amanda paused for a second before carrying on. She couldn't believe she was _actually_ going along with this, "She was unconscious when we reached her, but she regained it twice. The first time she told me to fake her death and the second time she was completely out of it. Thought she was still in Paris. Kept asking for Jethro. I lied and told her he'd left to get breakfast. Josh is flying out. He's the only doctor I trust other than you."

"And once we catch whoever was behind this?" Something was telling Ducky that he wasn't going to like what came next, and he realised how Gibbs must feel when he got a gut feeling. As a spy he'd went on instinct, but he'd never experienced 'The Power of the Gut' as Abby liked to call it.

Amanda's silence confirmed his fears. She took a deep breath, and he didn't need to see her to know she had her eyes closed and it was taking everything to get the next words out, "...You hold a funeral."

There was a lingering silence as both parties considered the impact of this...especially on one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"When she wakes up I'll ask her if she still wants to go through with this." Amanda paused again, deciding that she needed to talk to someone before her head exploded. This time, she couldn't keep the desperation out of her voice, "You know what she'd have to tell me to get me to do this to Jethro. This is gonna kill him. I can't do this to him, Ducky..."

***

**The Funeral**

"Hey boss," said Stan Burley solemnly, refusing to look Gibbs in the eye. Instead he looked between Ducky and Abby – the only ones brave enough to approach their wounded leader, "Probie was a good agent...there's no way we lost Will and Jenny within three weeks of each other like that. She didn't die in a house fire did she?"

"Nope." muttered Gibbs, his worried eyes scanning the crowd, "But we can't say they were killed by a Russian out for revenge, can we?" He turned to Ducky and asked, "I thought you said Amanda would be here?"

"Shorty?" asked Stan in surprise, "Of course she'll be here. Those two were joined at the hip. She'll be a mess though."

"Thanks. I missed you too, Stan." Stan spun on his heel and smiled at Amanda apologetically before pulling her into a hug. He was shocked to see that she wasn't crying, but she was wearing no make-up and looked like she hadn't slept for days. She looked like a lost little girl. He'd never seen her look so _young_.

When Stan released her she turned to Gibbs and pulled him into an Abby-style hug. "I'm so sorry," she whispered into his shoulder, and was she slightly surprised when he didn't remind her about his rule for apologies. Instead, he held her tighter as he felt tears soak his shoulder. He thought he heard a double meaning in her words, but was too preoccupied with one surrogate daughter going to pieces in his arms and while the other was holding onto Ducky as if her life depended on it. He hoped that Tony was with Ziva because Tim wouldn't be able to handle her if she succumbed to tears.

Suddenly it occurred to him that instead of Amanda's usual shoulder-length brown hair, she had a short jet-black bob. "What's with the wig?"

"I was...working," she tried to smile as she pulled back, but failed miserably. He thought she was slightly hesitant, but brushed it away as she took a deep breath to try to compose herself, "I couldn't miss this and I didn't want anyone following me here so I put on the wig. Mum, Dad and Lucy are somewhere in all this, but I don't think they even know I'm here."

She shrugged half-heartedly before Abby engulfed her in a huge hug then passed her off to Ducky. Making some excuse she dragged Gibbs and Burley, who'd missed the entire conversation between Amanda and Gibbs, off to find the rest of the team. Amanda was like her sister, and she knew that she wouldn't want anyone to see her while she was in pieces. Ducky whispered in her ear as she tried to stop the tears, "I know it's hard. I want to tell him too. But it's not our call. The moment we got the order from London it was out of our hands."

"I know...it's just...I..." Amanda pulled back to look at Ducky through bloodshot eyes, the self-loathing evident from her tone, "Did you _see_ the look on his face? _I_ did that. I'm the one who told SecNav what she wanted, it was _my_ call. I could've called Jethro but I didn't. Ducky, this is gonna _kill_ him!"

She extracted herself from Ducky's grip and wrapped her arms around herself. Turning away she looked over the heads of the mourners and her eyes locked on something in the distance. Ducky came to stand beside her, his eyes subtly looking her over. The fact that she was even allowing herself to look vulnerable showed that she wasn't coping well. That was the one downfall in their training. They don't teach you how to deal with something this personal. But if you apply your regular training to it you eventually break down. It looked like she already had...

This was something that she'd have to learn to deal with on her own. He couldn't tell her how to feel. He could only be there to help with the fallout. It was the same with Gibbs. He couldn't bring them out of this hole. He could only stand at the top and hope for the best.

Personally, he was surprised that the sight of her hadn't sent Gibbs over the edge. Amanda probably didn't even realise it, but she subconciously emulated Jenny. The skirt and shirt ensamble screamed Jenny, even wearing the insanely high stiletto heels that she insisted on. The wig topped the whole thing off. Amanda couldn't know it was almost identical to the type that Jenny used to wear to hide her red hair.

She probably didn't know it, but she looked exactly like Jenny did when they were undercover in Paris.

He turned his head to look at what she seemed so focused on. His eyes rested on Capitol Hill and he internally sighed, wondering what was going through his niece's mind. Amanda reached up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek and whispered, "What a great time for me to grow a conscience ae?"

***

**Jenny's Hospital Room (US)**

Josh sat in the hard hospital chair as he waited for Amanda to arrive back from Jenny's supposed 'funeral'. He found it almost impossible to believe that the unconscious, frail looking woman in front of him was actually the same person as the woman he had met a few months before. She'd seemed so...indestructible. The woman who'd made it clear that if he hurt Amanda he'd she'd kill him (although she was about fifth in line – Gibbs, Amanda's father, Ducky, Abby, Jenny) now looked like a gust of wind would break her.

What was even more mind-boggling **[A/N Sorry...I **_**love**_** that word!]** was the effect that all this was having on Amanda. Normally cool and collected – a typical spy – she had been on the defensive and highly strung since she'd called him to demand that he got on the next flight to LA. When he'd finally arrived, confused beyond belief since she had only been away on a routine job, he found his strong, independent girlfriend going to pieces. Not conventional hysterics, though. She had the mask firmly in place and looked like the ultimate professional.

Until you actually paid attention to her.

Then you realised that she was far too snappy...the smallest things bothered her...she was constantly on the defensive...she'd go through five cups of strong black coffee in an hour but wasn't affected... He'd even seen her close to tears a few times. You actually had to know her to see that she was falling apart at the seams.

When he'd arrived he'd found a spy slightly older than he was cowering as she shouted at him about how "it was need to know and he no longer needed to know" then when she'd noticed him she'd grabbed him, dragged him to the nearest doctor and told them to "Explain" before sighing and declaring she "needed more coffee before she killed someone".

Not the most reassuring situation.

Which was why he hadn't moved from Jenny's bedside since Amanda had left. She had calmed down a bit now that Jenny was past the critical stage, but that didn't mean that he still didn't fear for his life if she found out he'd deserted his post.

He was suddenly dragged from his thoughts by his phone vibrating in his pocket. A brief glance at the caller ID showed a number he didn't recognise, "Taylor."

"Ah, Josh my dear boy. It's Ducky, Amanda's flight just left." came the calm voice from the other end of the phone.

"Dr. Mallard." said Josh sitting up quickly. He'd only spoken to him a few times, but he knew enough about the inactive spy to respect him, "How is she?"

"How many times must I tell you, it's _Ducky_. And not so great, that's actually the main reason I called."

Josh suddenly grabbed his chance to voice his concerns, glad that he wasn't being an overprotective boyfriend, "She's been acting really weird. I thought I was just imagining things. Do you know how this managed to get under her skin? I mean, I know Director Sheppard is like family, but still..."

"What do you know about Amanda's childhood?"

Josh frowned. That was a strange place to start, "Erm...it was pretty similar to mine. We both have older siblings, our parents put work on the back burner until we went to school. We were in the first few years of the new system. I was in the second, she was in the fourth. Lucy was part of the old system. We spent school until we were about seven in the UK, then we spent about two weeks every two months in the US. Then you hit high school and it's a month in the UK, a month in the US...you spend all your time travelling. When we decided what we wanted to do she chose field work as her main thing and she specialized in modern warfare and I chose medical with field on the side. I wanted to be like my Dad but she went her own way."

"Exactly," although Josh wasn't sure what he had explained. He found it was a feeling he usually had around the doctor, and he'd learnt just to go along with it, "If you remember correctly, you had the choice of staying with family or staying at housing provided. From the ages of eleven to seventeen she basically lived with me. The girls spent their summers with me too. Amanda spent more time in the States than in Stirling. Jethro and Jennifer became surrogate parents to her and she's closer to Abby than she is to Lucy."

"Really?" he couldn't help letting his unedited thought slip out. He had seen Amanda with Lucy and with Abby. If you'd asked him he would've said that there was no difference...she was maybe a bit more relaxed around Abby but that was it.

"Five years is a massive difference. Throw in the fact that they were in different education systems and only saw each other during holidays or the rare instances where they happened to be in the same country at the same time and that gap gets even bigger." Ducky sounded vaguely regretful, as if the situation between the two girls was somehow his fault, "Amanda's life was simple – a month in one place, a month in the other. Lucy's was much more unpredictable. The barely know each other. Yes, they are sisters, but you couldn't call them friends. It is unfortunate, yes, but very common in this line of work. She has the same problem with her parents."

"She does?" Josh's eyebrows had long disappeared into his hairline – he knew Amanda was a very private person. Hell, he was too. But he wanted to know _how_ he'd missed all of this.

"It isn't a bad as with Lucy. Their parents tried to do for them what my mother and I did for their father. They _did_ try to be there for the girls, but due to the fact that neither one of them was willing to take a desk job it didn't work out that well. Mother took a desk job, and I was around a lot more. It was a different time. Once Amanda started school they both went back into work full-time. It was rare that she would see both parents in one visit, and even more rare to see the same one twice in a row. Sometimes she spent some of the time with her mother's sister because they weren't back or had to go away halfway through her time at home."

Ducky trailed off, unsure of how to word the rest of his point. It really was very complicated, "She's closer to Jennifer and Jethro than her biological parents. In a sense, they were always there for her. Jethro was a marine and, when she picked, Jennifer had just started running anti-terror ops. She didn't go her own way...she wanted to be like her _parents_."

"And when they split up she even had something that resembled custody arrangements." Josh whispered, recalling Amanda's joking words before a sitting in a stunned silence for a moment. He tried to piece together this new information. Everything made sense now...sort of.

He'd seen Amanda on the job before and she was exactly what the Government had trained her to be – cold, ruthless, she got the job done – and when she was off the job she was this normal, bubbly girl that never shut up. He'd asked her how she did it once, but all she'd did was smile mysteriously and answered, 'It's rule eleven. I'll tell you some time.'

Everyone had a weakness, it was impossible to be invincible. It looked like he'd found hers – her family.

"Jennifer has always been a tower of strength," Ducky continued, "someone she could look up to. A mixture of mother and the aunt she could tell anything without worrying about her reaction. You can understand how seeing Jennifer this vulnerable has unsettled her. Think of it this way, she's had to tell her father and her sister that her mother is dead and has to watch them break down while she knows that her mother is, to an extent, safe and well."

All Josh could manage was a short "Oh." He knew that Amanda was close to them – she'd flown him across an ocean to meet them – but he hadn't thought of it like that. He hadn't known all the extra information. He'd been planning to wait until he'd transferred Jenny back to the UK before asking her about her reaction. She was stressed enough already.

"Oh, indeed." said Ducky, sounding grave, "As she put it earlier, what a great time to grow a conscience. That is why I called. I won't lie – I'm not thrilled about this arrangement, but it is the only way this will work. You know what Amanda and my opinions are –"

"_Amanda," Josh called after Amanda's retreating figure. He couldn't believe what she'd just said...this was like something out of a movie, "Are you actually going to declare her as dead?"_

_Amanda froze where she stood and spun around to face Josh. He caught a glimpse of the emotions warring with each other behind her eyes before they glazed over and were replaced by a hardness he saw all too often in his line of work. "Yeah, I am." She stared at him in silence for a moment before something inside her snapped and tears sprung to her eyes, "Do you really think I want to tell him she's dead? No one wants to tell him! Me...Ducky...Hell, anyone who knows them could tell you this is a bad idea!"_

_He ducked as the cup of hot black coffee flew towards his head. Part of him noticed her storm off to go harass the doctors some more and registered that this was the third time she had been close to tears...but for the most part he was more concerned about dodging the flying liquid._

"– but if Jennifer wants to pull this off she needs Amanda. They are both stubborn to a fault, but once they commit to something they don't give up. It's what makes them good at their jobs." There was a hint of pride in Ducky's voice now, and Josh couldn't help but agree. This mission aside, they were amazing. "But, if things get too much you have permission to forcefully remove her. For her sanity as well as your own. You can only sit beside a hospital bed for so long before you begin to lose your mind. For you, my dear boy, the worst is yet to come."

***

**The Hospital Car Park (UK)**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Amanda asked for the third time since Jenny had woken up in LA. She'd asked her when she'd woken up and wasn't under the influence of painkillers. What she had been saying was true, painkillers had that effect on her, but she wasn't thinking straight. Then she'd asked her before they'd gotten on the flight. Jethro could have met them here. She knew there wasn't much chance that anything had changed in the past twelve hours but she had to be sure. She could still tell him, "I promise, this is the last time I'll ask. I just need to know."

"Yes, I'm sure." Jenny's voice was slightly strained as she took in the enormity of what she was about to do. The hospital in front of her was most likely going to be her new home until..._if_...she was cured. Although part of her wanted nothing more to tell Amanda that she had changed her mind, most of her was replaying memories of watching her own mother slowly dying and was vowing not to put him through that. "I know if I ask you can have him here in under twenty four hours, but I can't put him through this. Besides, NCIS needs at least one of us there."

"They'd survive, you know." whispered Amanda in reply. She knew where Jenny was coming from. As much as she hated to admit that she would probably do the same to Josh if their roles were reversed. She would want to spare him the pain. But that still didn't help the growing feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach. According to Abby, Jethro wasn't coping and her own conversations with him confirmed it. She'd upped her usual Thursday night phone call to phoning him every two days just to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. "He'd take a transfer or resign in a second if it meant he got you back."

"I know," Jenny smiled sadly. There wasn't much he wouldn't do for her, and the feeling was mutual. It just sucked that they'd never got the second chance they both wanted. "You know how I feel about him, you always have. All I can do now is try my best to fight this and get back to him."

"What if he pulls another Stephanie?"

"It's been a month hasn't it?" Jenny said dryly, she'd never forget Amanda telling her about Stephanie. It took until the divorce for Amanda and Ducky to convince her that he was only doing it because he was trying to prove that it didn't matter that she'd broken his heart and not because he'd never cared about her. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Amanda sighed as she stepped out of the car. She wasn't going to question Jenny anymore – she was behind her one hundered percent. Once she committed to something she saw it through until the end.

As soon as she walked into the hospital she was Amanda Simmons. There was only one thing that made this mission much harder than anything she'd ever done before. This was personal. There were too many overlaps between Amanda Mallard and Amanda Simmons. Before she'd always been Amanda Mallard or someone that was purely fictitious, she'd never been a mixture of the two. There was no way for her to keep these lives seperate, but to be honest she didn't really care. This wasn't about her – it was about Jenny.

In this job there are no second chances. If you make a mistake you deal with the fallout and move on. You change your plans to accomodate the mistake and continue. If that means you have to go into hiding or die then so be it. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions, but it's up to you and whoever you're working with to avoid having to make those decisions. She knew not telling Jethro was a mistake, but she was working around it. Now that he didn't know there was no going back. He'd find out eventually, and she was already making contingency plans for every possible senario.

On the job you _can't_ look back. You've got to keep moving forward. If you're always looking over your shoulder then you can't see where you're going. If you can't see where you're going you're a liability. Liabilities put people in unneccesary danger.

And if you're in danger, there's a pretty good chance you don't come out alive.

Amanda Simmons was girly and up until a few years ago her life had been all bubblegum and rainbows. Her father worked abroad and her big sister couldn't cope so she was left to deal with her mother's illness alone. Reality had come crashing down on her. Hard. Amanda Mallard was stylish but had a few Android Lust tops hiding in the back of her wardrobe. She didn't _do_ girly. She knew exactly what this world was like and gave as good as she got. The only reason _she_ was alone was because she was following orders.

But both girls had had to grow up too soon, and they were both terrified that their mother wasn't going to make it out of this alive. Amanda glanced at Jenny and smiled. Whatever happened they were in this together. "Let's get in there before Josh starts panicking."

* * *

**Omg, I just word counted the chapter and it's nearly 5,700 words! This is probably as long as I'll ever get heeheee**

**Okay, time to go for my dinner and then go panic some more. It's not the prelims that are getting closer as I type though (first one's on Wednesday *shudders*) ... it's my Mum and Dad's 25****th**** wedding anniversary in two weeks, and I can't find anything! Nowhere seems to do Silver Wedding (or any wedding actually) stuff. I've been to three different shopping centres + all the high streets and stuff and I honestly can't find anything. So now I'm down to trawling the internet lol who said studying was important? =P **

**Anyways, minor drama aside, ****I think that turned out okay... **

**Read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! 3) I appreciate your opinion! **

**HesMines x**


	7. Waking Up

**My arms dead! =( Modern Studies prelim this morning...four essays in 1hr 30...dead arm. I've still got Additional Member System vs First Past The Post, Land Reform, Media vs Her Majesty's Oppostion, and Health/Wealth inequalities running through my head...might not be too coherent in this =P I finally got a present for my Mum & Dad – its a personalised plate =D I'd definitley recommend **gettingpersonal(dot)co(dot)uk** to anyone who's looking for presents! Did anyone hear about how Mossad apparently used fake Brittish passports to get into Dubai to kill a Hamas guy? I heard it on the news & we were talking about it (can't remember in what class lol) and I was like "Omg I actually know what they're talking about" and I was like the only person who knew what Mossad was. It was weird... *shrugs***

**Okay, well, erm, here's them getting to see Jenny now... This is kinda a combination of several versions of this. One way was like the flashback and she completely freaked out, one where they made it to the room before her eyes opened, and one where they didn't make it but she didn't really freak out. This is kind of the best of all of them ... I couldn't pick which way I liked better. If I'm honest it was the one like the flashback that was my favourite, but it didn't really fit and anyway I couldn't do it to Gibbs. So...this one them basically falling through the door as she wakes up...**

**Rule #8 – Never take anything for granted...Rule #15 – Always work as a team**

**Okay, I'm shutting up now! MatteaAM, Levana Fay, TomorrowNeverCame, badprobiemcgee – Thank yhooo for the reviews!**

* * *

Amanda and Josh pushed past Gillian to see Jenny sitting up in the bed gasping as her eyes searched the room. Letting go of Amanda's hand, Josh rushed to one side of the bed to disconnect Jenny from the machines and IVs so she wouldn't hurt herself while Amanda ran to the other to try and calm her down.

"Mom...Mom!" she grabbed her arms and shook her, trying to get through to her. Jenny was mumbling incoherently, clinging to Amanda as if her life depended on it. "C'mon, look at me. It's okay...you're okay!"

Ducky and Gibbs appeared but were stopped by Gillian who was standing helplessly in the doorway blocking their path. When they tried to get past her she mutely shook her head, her eyes never leaving Jenny. Both men briefly noticed that her hair was slightly longer and sat just beyond her shoulders. As Gibbs made to barge into the room, Jenny whimpered, "Jethro..."

Ducky and Gibbs froze, they'd never heard such a sound coming from Jenny. She'd never sounded so vulnerable...so small...so _helpless_.

"Yeah, he's here." replied Amanda without missing a beat, trying to ignore how much that sound hurt. At least this time she had a good answer, "He's here and I'm pretty sure you're scaring him!"

However, at these words Jenny began crying. Her sobs echoed around the room, Gibbs jerked back to life and tried to get in the room again. Gillian turned around and put a restraining arm on him, "Her daughter knows what she's doing. It's better if we just stay out of her way."

Gibbs looked incredulously at the older woman before glaring at her. "There's no way in hell I'm just standing here doing nothing. It's me she wants."

On hearing Gibbs' voice, Jenny's head snapped to look at the door. Her eyes widened as she saw Gibbs standing in the doorway glaring at the nurse. Feeling her gaze on him, Gibbs turned to look at her with concern clear on his face. At that moment, it didn't matter what she'd put him through...it didn't matter that she'd had two of the people he was closest to lie to him. All that mattered was that she was alive and breathing.

She wasn't going anywhere. Not this time.

Amanda knew what Jenny was looking at when she trained her gaze on something behind her. The tears still hadn't slowed, if anything they had gotten worse. Something didn't feel right...something about Jenny was off. Her grip was too tight; her breathing was too fast...it was like something was frightening her. Amanda looked carefully at Jenny, trying to figure out what was wrong. She knew Jenny wasn't completely with them, but this was different from what usually happened. Hesitantly she asked, "...Mom?"

Amanda's voice shook Jenny out of her trance, but instead of acknowledging the worried girl in front of her Jenny's eyes never left Gibbs. She slowly lifted her hand to cover her mouth before whispering, "You're not real."

**[Insert DUN]**

"You're not real."

Whatever they had been expecting it hadn't been that. Ducky and Josh's eyebrows disappeared into their hair while Gillian looked at Jenny like she was crazy. But their reactions were nothing compared to Amanda and Gibbs'. Gibbs looked like she had just slapped him as he tried to figure out how she had jumped to that conclusion. Yes, the thought that this was all some crazy dream had passed through his mind, but he'd never _doubted_ it. This was so crazy that it couldn't be a dream. Amanda, on the other hand, completely personified disbelief. She had went through all that stress to get him there for her waking up only to think was a fake? That was just some sick joke.

Ducky recovered first and placed a hand on Gillian's arm. His American accent was flawless, "I suggest we leave before she says anything else to embarass herself. This...is the sort of thing that Jennifer would prefer less people knew about."

Nodding mutely, Gillian allowed herself to be dragged from the room by Ducky who started talking about medical records and test results.

"You...I'm sorry..._what_?" Amanda finally managed to choke out, her eyes never leaving Jenny. Nothing about her body language was off...she genuinely believed that he wasn't real.

Jenny, however, paid no attenion to Amanda. It was as if it was only her and Gibbs in the room. She whispered again, this time expanding slightly, "You _can't_ be real."

"And how'd you work that one out Jen?" Gibbs' voice was rough, as if he hadn't used it for a while. He didn't know what he was expecting, but this wasn't it. He'd thought he might have to convince her to come home or take him back...but not this. For once he didn't know what to do.

How do you convince the most stubborn woman you've ever met that she's wrong?

"The real you wouldn't come here. The real you hates me." Jenny sounded defeated and whispered the words as if they were obvious. There was no stopping the tears now that the dam had been opened. The thoughts that she'd kept hidden behind that wall for years were finally spilling out.

"I don't hate you Jen!" Gibbs' answer was instant. There was no way he was going to let her think that. He took a step into the room and for once the words came easily, "I hated some of the stuff you did or the stunts you pulled, but I _can't_ hate you!"

"Well you should!" She was shouting now, the tears cascading down her cheeks. She pushed Amanda away and hid her face in her knees. Although her words were slightly muffled the self-loathing in her voice was clear, "It's all my fault! Don't tell me it's not, it is! I had the chance to be happy and I gave it all up! I gave _you_ up! Look where it got me! Alone and dying!"

Gibbs stiffened at those words. He knew they weren't true, but to hear Jenny talking like that broke his heart. It made him feel even worse about not being there for her...for not fighting for her when she left...for giving up on them when she came back. He looked at Amanda, the look on his face conveying his feeling of helplessness.

"Shut _up_," Anyone else would have thought that Amanda was telling her to stop talking before she blew their cover but both men in the room heard the slight quaver in her voice. The idea that Jenny was going to die scared her as much as it did Gibbs, "Stop talking like that!"

"I am! I should never have put you through this! I shouldn't have asked you to do this. I shouldn't have made you do this to him...I should have listened to you." The hysteria was taking over; her thoughts were escaping before she could edit them.

"Yeah...you should have. But that won't change anything." Amanda switched tactics again and started shouting. As she stood up her entire frame became cold and emotionless. She was switching to autopilot so she didn't have to deal with it, "Look at me!"

Jenny started shaking her head into her knees. Amanda slowly backed away from Jenny and whispered loudly, "Do something!" She avoided looking at either man. She had enough control over her emotions to know that her face was a blank mask. If either of them looked into her eyes they wouldn't see anything. She knew that that emptiness would scare them.

Gibbs knew the words were directed at him, but he was at a loss of what to do. He hated it when Jenny cried – it usually meant she was so upset that there was nothing he could do. It broke his heart. He felt another stab to his heart as he heard what she was beginning to mumble, "Jethro...Jethro...My fault. I'm so sorry Mandy."

Suddenly he realised that _he_ was the one causing her pain. The reason she thought he wasn't real was because it was him, or the memory of him, that was tormenting her. Feeling desperate and at a complete loss he did the first thing he could think of.

"Sheppard!"

**[Insert DUN]**

"She's never did anything like this before!" fretted Gillian as Ducky lead her back towards the nurses' station, "I... she... I'm sorry. I didn't even get your name."

"Donald Simmons, Jennifer's brother-in-law." he said as he shook the slightly dazed nurse's hand, "That was my brother Jethro, her husband."

"Gillian Lawson." she mumbled, her mind going into overdrive. After a moment she caught herself and added, "So you're the doctor then? Amanda didn't mention you were coming."

"Yeah, and she didn't know. Jethro's commanding officer knows about Jennifer and he pulled some strings. Got him home a few months early. He's here till his unit gets deployed again. Though I think he has a change of career in mind. It was hard enough leaving her the last time." Ducky paused in thought for a moment, 'the last time' was almost the undoing of them all. Gibbs had tried to drink himself into oblivion at first, but between Abby's pleading, his patience and Amanda's stubborness that approach had been abandoned. He threw himself into his work, became obsessive. He told everyone he was fine until Amanda appeared in his basement and told him she refused to lose him too.

Well, words to that effect.

"And, as for me, I didn't know I was coming until a few weeks ago." He continued, reciting the cover story he had learned on the flight over. "Amanda's grandma was going away with some ladies from her book club and Abby decided to tag along. Jethro decided to wait before he told her in case it fell through at the last minute, so I did the same. The idea was to surprise them. We didn't know about the trial."

Gillian looked at Ducky for a moment, trying to figure him out. She thought she understood his sister-in-law and niece...to an extent. She was positive they were both holding something back. His brother scared her. She'd only been with him for a few minutes, but that glare had done it. But he was a Marine who had been gone for eighteen months and walked into a nightmare. She had to make some allowance for that. The man in front of her was detached from the situation but she put it down to years of experience in the emergency room. It was an unnerving trait shared by every member of the Simmons family. When things got tough they seemed to shut off... "You don't know anything?"

"I don't know much. Amanda was very secretive. I think she was worried I'd pass it onto her Dad." he shrugged, trying to make it seem less of a big deal. Amanda hadn't been secretive; she had been unable to speak freely. And there was more chance that she would be the one to break and tell Gibbs. This was where the lying really began. Everything else had just been acting. Ducky felt a slight thrill go through him as he spoke. It was something that never left you, the thrill of being back in the game.

"Okay, well, you and your brother will need to have a meeting with Dr. McGregor, but I can give you a bit of insight into what you've missed. Give me two minutes and I'll show you the files."

They'd reached the nurses' station now and found Haley inside angrily flipping through a magazine. Gillian ignored her and went straight to the computer, pulling pulled up Jenny's notes so that she could add this to them. As she typed she muttered, "Your family seems to have a lot of secrets."

Ducky knew that she hadn't meant for him to hear that, and was completely unaware that he had. Against his better judgement he answered her, "I'm sorry?"

"Oh," Gillian blushed, she hadn't meant for him to hear that. In the corner, Haley smirked. She felt for Gillian, she really did, it was horrible when you got caught out. But she had to admit it was nice to see that she wasn't the only one who was caught out by the Simmons'. They heard and saw things no one else noticed. It was slightly unnerving. "Erm...I just meant that...erm."

"She meant that no one seems to know anything." sighed Haley placing her magaizne down and coming to Gillian's rescue. The older nurse was a nice enough woman. She didn't deserve to be thrown to the wolves. "Hi, I'm Haley." She smiled and offered her hand to Ducky, which he quickly took, "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation from down the hall. The sound in here sucks at night by the way. Everything carries, so be careful with what you say. Anyways, in situations like this we tend to find that everyone knows everything, but with your family... Nope. She's never really made it a secret that everyone else doesn't know the details."

"Exactly," added Gillian, finally getting her voice back though her cheeks still had a slight pink tint, "Your niece has made it clear that her Dad and sister know nothing, and that you know very little. And now this, she didn't know you were coming. If her father's coming home from some sort of warzone she's entitled to know. With the stress of the trial it would have been good if they had had something to look forward to. You just seem to keep a lot of secrets from each other."

"We do." smiled Ducky, interally laughing at the shocked looks on the nurses' faces. Most people would expect you to deny something like that, but this way it kept them off their backs. Running his mind back over the conversation he almost laughed out loud. He was acting more like Tony than his usual self, "But it's because sometimes you can say too much. Sometimes its better being kept in the dark. Saying too much can cause more damage than not saying enough. Now, where did you say her files were? I think it would be better if I went into the family room and read them there."

***

At Gibb's voice, Jenny froze. He took a tentative step towards her when she didn't move from her position on the bed. He took a few more steps forward before stopping at the foot of the bed. He wasn't sure how she'd react if he came any closer. "C'mon Jen, look at me."

She couldn't say no to him, not when he was practically begging her. Slowly Jenny raised her head to look at him, tears still running down her face. Every thought she'd had for the past eight months came flooding back to her. She knew it couldn't be real and that was the main reason why she was crying, but her desire to try and make things right was overpowering that and she spoke anyway. "I know I'm breaking the rules but I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am...I did. I screwed you over. I broke the most important rule and you should _hate_ me."

She was picking up speed, as if she thought he'd headslap her or disappear before she could fix things, "I'm sorry. I broke almost every rule when I left! I smashed eight into tiny pieces. And fifteen! And now I'm hallucinating and talking to thin air and you're here to torment me."

She stopped suddenly and stared at him with forlorn eyes. He wasn't real, she shouldn't kid herself. The real Gibbs would hate her for what she'd done. She moved her eyes from his worried face to look at a spot on the blanket beside her. She whispered dejectedly, "...I guess I deserve that."

"Jen!" Gibbs tried again, completely bewildered. He didn't hate her, he'd forgiven her for Paris a long time ago – even if he did still wonder what he'd done or hadn't done to make her leave. And the fact that she didn't believe he was real just confused him. It was like a knife to his heart when he heard her talk about herself like that...that wasn't his Jenny. "What's the golden rule?"

"Never screw over your partner. I know. I screwed you over! _I'm sorry_!"

Seeing her like this was bringing out Gibbs' overprotective side. Jenny was never small and vulnerable. She never cried and if her voice started shooting through the octaves like it just had there was a real problem. When she was like this his instinct was to protect her...but he didn't know how to protect her from herself. He took a few more tentative steps and sat on the bed beside her, trying to ignore how much it hurt every time she cried or apologised, knowing that he was the one causing her pain. It took almost all of his willpower to keep his voice calm, "Would I break my own rules?"

She whimpered and shook her head as he sat down on the bed, still refusing to look at him, "No..."

Gibbs tilted his head to the side, as he studied her. She'd lost a bit of weight – not a lot, but enough to make you notice. It looked like he had a lot of work to do, "Being a hallucination and tormenting you would be screwing you over." He reached out a hand and placed it under her chin. He tilted her head so that she had to look at him. She seemed surprised when she felt his touch, the confusion clear in her eyes, "I wouldn't do that to you Jen."

There was a lingering silence while Gibbs and Jenny looked at each other, both of them trying to read what was going through the other's eyes. Jenny must have seen something that reassured her because the next moment she had launched herself into Gibb's arms, burying her head his chest and clutched fistfuls of his shirt. There was no way she was letting him go, "You're real?"

Gibbs didn't answer. He just pulled her into a tighter hug and rubbed her back trying to soothe her. She had stopped crying at some point, but she was still shaking like a leaf. Finally, he let out a very strained laugh and whispered, "Don't I have a rule about stupid questions?"

"Rule number six. Always double check." she mumbled into his shirt. There was silence for a few moments before the room was filled with the sound of her crying.

"Hey...what's wrong now?" said Gibbs gently, his voice coming out a lot calmer than he felt. Four wives and he still couldn't handle crying women! He pulled back a little to look at her but found her staring at the sheets again.

"You don't break your rules." She whimpered, tears lacing her words. Everything about her screamed defeat – her voice was barely a whisper and she wouldn't look at him – it was a million miles away from the normal Jenny, "Why do you think I asked Mann to work for us?"

Gibbs almost laughed at her actions – that was the sort of stunt the old Jen would have pulled, the person behind the 'Director' mask. In the background Amanda had to bite her lip to stop a laugh escaping, receiving a questioning look from Josh. Two seconds before she had been trying edge out of the room without being noticed. He didn't have that option – any move he made would be noticed by Gibbs. She mouthed two words at him. _Knew_ _it_. Then she returned her gaze to the couple on the bed, barely concealing her growing grin.

Gibbs pulled her back into the hug and buried his head in her hair, relishing the smell that was just _Jenny_. There was no way he was going to make the same mistake _again_. He tilted his head slightly and whispered into her ear, "Since you're the reason for twelve...I think I can make an exception. And since when did we let rules stop us?"

They had a lot of work to do – too much had happened between them for this to fix it – but this was a start. There was a long, difficult conversation looming on the horizon. But they'd get through it.

Somehow, they always did.

* * *

**Right, two things. **

**1) No idea when the next update will be. I've not wrote the next chapter, and I'm not gonna get a chance to write anything for the next two weeks-ish. But I will have it up soonish =D**

**2) **_Question Time._** If you had to have actors play the Deep Six people...who would it be? I've got an idea for further on (I'm talking somewhere around the epilouge lol or maybe another fic if it doesn't really work in) and it kinda of involves McGee and a book tour and a 'trailer' for his next book. I'd love to hear who you think could play them! Personally, I think Chris Pines makes a great Tommy lol **www(dot)screenrant(dot)com/wp-content/uploads/chris-pine-a-team(dot)jpg** what'd you think?**

**HesMines x**


	8. Talks

**I'm back! Not sure how long for though =( We're now in the countdown to the final exams.... Updates might be a bit scare for the next 2 months (for Back to the War too). Sorry!**

**Okay...this turned out A LOT longer than I expected! The Abby bit started off as a conversation between Abby and McGee which kind of grew a life of its own. This version of their conversation is nothing like the original lol. Might be a bit OOC at times, especially Gibbs and Jenny. But, they're not going soft! They'll be back into character by the next chapter. I've tried to keep as close to their characters as I could, but I had to make them lower a couple of barriers first. Oh, I don't think I put this in the other chapter where this applied but there are a few bits of strong language in this chapter.**

**Thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited me! I feel loved! ****TomorrowNeverCame****, ****fredesrojo****, ****Levana Fay****, ****badprobiemcgee, castleelovee Thank**** yhooo for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer – Nope...don't own it! If I did Jenny and Gibbs would have got together ages ago and she wouldn't be dead.**

* * *

As Gibbs tried to calm Jenny down enough to go back to sleep, Amanda and Josh slowly edged towards the door. Amanda clamped one hand over her mouth in a bid to not look like the Cheshire Cat while Josh pulled her from the room. He flicked the light, plunging the room into darkness and with a soft thump the door closed. Gibbs suppressed a chuckle at the high pitched squeal he heard a second later.

Outside Jenny's room, Josh watched in amazement as Amanda let go. She squealed before giggling and twirling around in the empty corridor, completely oblivious to his amused gaze. He leaned against the wall, grinning at her antics. This was the first time he had seen her truly happy in months. Jenny's illness, Gibbs' grief and the resulting guilt were always playing on her mind. After a few minutes she stopped twirling and turned to face him. She was still giggling and grinning like a manic as she shook her head in disbelief, "It worked!"

Josh couldn't help laughing, it was infectious. He was glad to see that the mischievous glint was back in her eyes. _She_ was back. "Yeah, it worked."

"She's going to be okay..." Amanda repeated, a look of wonder on her face. She couldn't believe it. After eight long months is was finally all over. Everything was going to be okay. _This_ was the reaction she should have had before. "They're together...she's not dying...everything's back to normal..."

She continued to stare into space in wonder. It was so...surreal. After all the stress and worry, they'd finally beaten it. It was all over – in a good way. After years of waiting, they were _finally_ back together. It wasn't official...yet. But there was no way Jethro was letting Jenny go. And the feeling was mutual. They'd lost each other too many times to put those barriers back up...to keep playing games. They'd been skirting around their feelings since Jenny got the job. It'd always been a matter of time.

Amanda started giggling again, trying to find some outlet for her excess energy. There was no way she was coming down from this high anytime soon. Throwing caution to the wind, she squealed and launched herself at an unsuspecting Josh. He caught her by the waist and spun her around, joining in with her laughter.

He knew it sounded clichéd, but he'd missed her. Yes, he hadn't seen her for three days, but it was more that he missed this side of her. She hadn't put her barriers completely down in a while. They both knew that it was kind of stupid to be acting like that in the middle of the hospital. They'd been careful. It was stupid to risk exposure now.

"_Josh_!" Amanda laughed; her attempt at seriousness was marred by her giggles. "Put me down!"

This was stupid. One of the nurses or the patients could walk around the corner and see them...the rumour mill was _already_ working overtime. But at that moment in time neither one of them cared. She was beyond ecstatic, and there was no way he was taking this away from her. As long as she was happy he didn't care.

He wasn't exactly complaining about the situation either.

He finally placed her back on the ground and smiled down at her giggling form. Her arms were around his neck and her face was inches from his. All he could see was love and happiness sparkling in the depths of her blue eyes and he was pretty sure he looked the same. Deciding to deal with the consequences later, her leaned down and captured her lips in a loving kiss. What started as a slow, tender kiss quickly escalated, fuelled by the passion and tension they'd been hiding around the hospital for months.

As Josh backed Amanda into the wall, neither of them noticed Haley walk around the corner.

* * *

The first thing Jenny realised as she slowly regained consciousness was that she could smell sawdust. A mixture of sawdust, bourbon and something else.... A flavour she knew but couldn't name. As she slowly got her bearings she realised that she was lying on top of – no, _cuddling into_ – something that was much harder than the mattress or a pillow but much more comfortable at the same time. She subconsciously let her senses explore her surroundings. Her agent skills weren't as rusty as everyone thought. It's like riding a bike, you never forget.

She took a deep breath and the aroma that was surrounding her assaulted her senses. She knew that smell, it made her feel safe. Part of her sleep-addled brain knew that smell and was screaming at her to figure it out.

A mixture of sawdust, bourbon and...

"Jethro!"

Jenny sat bolt upright in the bed, staring disbelievingly at the bed next to her. Lying (well, he was sitting up now) next to her was none other than Leroy Jethro Gibbs...who was looking at her strangely. Amanda had looked the same after the second trial. It was like he was expecting something, and was scared of whatever it was.

"Jethro? What are you –? How did –? Why are –?" To say Jenny was shocked was an understatement. The last thing she remembered was Josh telling her to count backwards from ten. And now she was waking up in Jethro's arms. Yes, she'd been wishing for that for months – years if you wanted to get technical – but she knew that wish would never come true. She couldn't put him through this. She couldn't even tell Amanda _how much_ she missed him because he'd end up on the next plane here. She was missing something. "What happened?"

Gibbs' eyes were guarded as he studied Jenny carefully. Amanda had told him that she wouldn't remember anything, but he didn't know what to expect. He spoke carefully, trying not to stress her anymore, "You don't remember anything?"

"No, I never do." Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. She couldn't remember anything, and if Amanda's reaction after the second time was anything to go by, she wasn't forgetting good things. She was suddenly struck with a desire to be completely honest with Jethro. She'd lied to him for so long before her 'death'. At the time, she'd wanted to tell him the truth about a lot of things – but she couldn't find the words. She was lucky they weren't already having one of their infamous arguments. She was lucky he was even here. "Josh thinks I'm repressing the memories. Selective amnesia. After seeing Amanda's reaction to the second trail...I don't try to remember. I don't _want_ to know what I did that scared her so much. And you didn't answer my question."

Gibbs took a deep breath. He knew it was a long shot that she'd remember, but part of him hoped that she would. They hadn't exactly 'talked' before they'd fallen asleep, but it seemed like they'd been on the same page. She'd missed him, he'd missed her. He didn't want to let her go and she didn't want to leave. He wondered what had happened to his so called 'courage'.

He could stare down the barrel of a gun without blinking, but when someone mentioned feelings he wanted to run for the hills.

'Well,' he thought, internally gritting his teeth. 'No one said this would be easy.'

"_Don't leave." Jenny whispered as she clutched handfuls of his shirt. Gibbs was trying to lay her back down on the bed, but so far it wasn't going so well. "Please..."_

_Sighing, Gibbs considered his options. There was no way he was leaving, but Jenny didn't seem content to let him sit by her bed either. Smiling ruefully he realised there was only one thing he could do. He didn't have a problem with it, but he was pretty sure there was a rule against this somewhere. Shifting Jenny to the side slightly he sat on the bed next to her. _

_He didn't miss Jenny's smile as he lay back and pulled her down with him. He was surprised by how natural it felt as Jenny wriggled about trying to get comfortable. It was like nothing had changed. It hadn't, not really. Jenny, finally comfortable, snuggled further into Gibbs' arms and whispered, "I love you." _

_He didn't know if she'd meant for him to hear that or not. Most of what she'd said tonight had been true, but she'd never have said them if she hadn't just woken up from a coma. Either way, he couldn't contain his grin. He'd be subconsciously waiting to hear those words for the past six years, even if he hadn't realised it. Turning his head slightly, he placed a kiss in her hair before replying in a whisper, "Love you too, Jen. I never stopped."_

Whether she could remember it or not, she'd taken the first step. It was up to him now.

"You got the all clear. I think the results came back three days ago. Amanda came to DC, told me the truth, and I got on a plane. The plane got here..." he looked down at his watch to give himself something to do. He knew he was avoiding the subject, but he never pretended to be good at things like this. "...about six hours ago. Got here just in time to see you wake up. Jen, what would make you think I hate you?"

Jenny stared at Gibbs for a long moment, trying to figure out what she'd missed. She was going to live, but right now that was a minor detail. There was something bigger going on. Not for the first time, he'd given her the impression that he could read her mind. While she might have believed that that might have been true before, she could see the look in his eyes. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, she could still see the hurt in his eyes. It wasn't a hunch that made him look like that; it was definitely something she said.

She weighed her words carefully before speaking, "The fact you're even here means you don't hate me. You should. After everything I've done to you, after everything I've put you through, you should hate me. And I know it's selfish but I'm glad you don't."

"Now who's avoiding the question?" Gibbs smirked. Although this was still nowhere near normal, he could see the old Jenny coming back. Suddenly, she froze. His actions mirrored hers as he tried to identify what had triggered that reaction. His first thought was that it was something to do with her illness, that maybe things weren't as clear cut as they'd first thought.

Then he saw that her eyes were darting around and her hands that were clutching the sheets were balled into fists. Recognising that she was having a flashback, Gibbs reached out and pried her fingers from the sheets, rubbing soothing circles on her hand. "What do you remember?"

"I don't know...it's blurry. It's vague, but it's more than I've remembered before. I can never remember anything after getting sedated." The look on Jenny's face changed from confusion to one of utter concentration. If there was anyone she would remember for, it was Jethro. All he had to do was smile or look at her with those insanely blue eyes of his and she'd do anything.

Blurry images flashed before her eyes. Everything was bright, too bright. Someone was crying. She could feel strong arms around her, and she suddenly felt safe. Eyes...two sets of blue eyes. Then darkness and a high-pitched squeal.

"...It's too vague. I can't really make anything out other than a high-pitched squeal." There was no way she was telling him that she remembered him. She'd know those eyes anywhere. One set belonged to Gibbs, the other to Amanda. She had to figure out her memories first and then she had to figure out where she stood. Jenny knew it was a bad idea to lie to him, but she had no idea what was going on.

As if on cue, Gibbs stated, "Your right eye twitches when you lie." She didn't need to be looking at him to know that he was looking at her with that infuriating, cocky smile. Her head was messed up enough without that smile. Normally, when he smirked at her like that she wanted to strangle him or kiss him.

"_Oh for God's sake_!" Their heads snapped towards the voice and they saw Amanda leaning in the doorway. She had somehow managed to open the door without either of them noticing and was looking at them in exasperation. She took a deep breath before smiling sweetly at them, her eyes glinting mischievously. Jenny heard Gibbs swallow next to her, and she was tempted to do the same.

Amanda had always known. She'd been the first person who'd found out about their relationship, and she was the only one who could bring up the past and come out the other side unscathed. She'd spent six years trying to convince them that they were making a huge mistake that could be easily fixed. They'd both always put it down to her wanting her 'parents' to get back together, never that she knew how the other one felt. That look meant she was planning something, and they weren't sure they wanted to know what type of contingency plans she was making.

"I'm going to go get Josh and Ducky. He's going to go over your results with you." Her voice was slow, calculating. She paused before her smile widened and she looked like the cat that had ate the canary, the goldfish and the really annoying pet hamster. "Then...you have an hour. And if it isn't official by then I will divulge every secret I've ever kept."

With that she turned on her heel and walked back down the corridor. Jenny threw herself back onto the pillows and groaned. She knew this was coming, and she was kind of glad that Amanda had backed them into a corner. If it was left up to one of them they'd beat around the bush for hours before they started arguing and then they'd make up like they used to.

She wasn't opposed to that idea...she just didn't think it was a good idea to do that in a hospital. Or that it would be best for them in the long run. This was a conversation they needed to have.

She felt the mattress move as Gibbs moved off the bed and onto the chair that was normally occupied by Amanda. She turned her head to glare at him, "She gets her attitude from you."

**[Insert DUN]**

"Hey Abs!" McGee shouted over the music in Abby's Lab. The Goth turned to look at McGee, her eyes brightening when she saw the Caff-Pow he held in his hand. Skipping over to the CD player, she turned the music down slightly before smiling as he handed over the caffeine.

"Bored?" She asked before turning back to her computer and typing away. Gibbs had only been gone two days, but it seemed a lot longer. Right now, there were no major cases so the 'Major Case Response Team' had nothing to do except paperwork.

"Mmmm." McGee murmured non-commitedly, his eyes never leaving the monitor.

Abby froze where she was, hearing some hidden meaning in McGee's silence. She spun around to face him, levelling the man with a glare that Gibbs' would have been proud of. "Spit it out, Tim."

McGee internally sighed. He knew this was a bad idea, _why_ did he have to listen to Tony? Abby had already made it pretty clear that she knew nothing and that if anyone tried to say anything against Amanda they'd regret it. Sometimes he hated the hold she had over him, over everyone. There was something about Abby that made you like her...most people in the agency would do anything for her. He reluctantly admitted, "Tony...wants to know more about Amanda."

There was no change in Abby except her glare became more pronounced. They stood in silence for a long moment where there was no movement except McGee shifting nervously. He was trying, and failing, to ignore the look which promised a slow, painful death.

Suddenly, Abby spun around and started typing furiously on the keyboard. "I already told you. Leave. Her. Alone." Each word was punctuated by a loud tap on the keyboard.

McGee grabbed her arm before she could do any serious damage to one of her babies. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger." Abby looked up at him through narrowed eyes. Clearly unamused by his innocent act, she pulled her hand away and stormed over to check her mass spec which had just started beeping.

McGee looked helplessly after her, trying to figure out what he had done to upset her this much. He knew she was worried about Gibbs and Ducky. After losing Jenny _and_ Kate, he wasn't exactly stress free right now. But it seemed like there was something else she wasn't telling him, "What's really wrong, Abby? I know you're worried about Gibbs and Ducky, but this seems like more than that."

Abby stopped where she was, her back still to McGee. There was only the stainless steel table between them, but in that moment it seemed like so much more than that. There was a lingering silence and McGee thought she wasn't going to answer, but then she growled, "Maybe I don't appreciate being interrogated. I've already told you that I don't know where they are. Why are you hunting down Amanda? She just lost Jenny, she's not about to risk Gibbs or Ducky."

Taking a deep breath, McGee walked towards Abby. This was a touchy subject. They couldn't even risk saying Jenny's name around Gibbs. They had learned to recognise the look of agony that flashed across his features before the mask appeared. No one else would notice it, but they'd wonder what they had done to piss the ex-marine off.

"You're close." It was a fact. Her reaction didn't leave any room for doubt. McGee just had to figure out how much this girl meant to her. He still thought it was weird that the girl could be Ducky's niece, be close to Gibbs and Abby, spend most of her childhood around the Navy Yard, but they'd never met her.

"Of course we're close. She's like the sister I never had. And it's not just me." McGee moved around to stand next to Abby. He studied her carefully. She was staring at her mass spec but not really seeing it, she was too caught up in her own thoughts. "Gibbs... If you'd asked me before I found out about Shannon and Kelly...I would've said she was the daughter he never had."

"And now?"

"She's the little sister Kelly never got." Abby's answer was instantaneous, leaving McGee in no doubt about the truth of her statement. She was silent for a moment before adding cautiously, "She knew about them. That was... I never expected Jenny to be the one saying 'why the hell didn't you tell me?' I thought she'd take it hardest...but she's known since she was twelve. She never told anyone."

"Where are you going with this, Abs?" McGee was really confused now. He knew that Abby's mind didn't always work in straight lines, but he could normally keep up. Now...he wasn't so sure. Whether it was all the new information or the fact that his normally hyperactive Goth looked so upset and resigned, he didn't know.

"Gibbs trusts her. Jenny trusted her. Ducky trusts her. _I_ trust her with my life." She turned to look at him, her wide eyes pleading with him to understand. "Why can't that be enough?"

McGee didn't know how to answer that one. Tony thought there was something hinky about Amanda, Ziva's ninja senses were apparently tingling and he had no idea what to believe. He knew Abby well enough to know that she wasn't telling them everything, but she was still enough of a mystery that he had no idea what it was. He knew she had been playing her feelings down, especially in front of Gibbs. She didn't want him to know how much she was hurting or how much she worried about him. It could just be that coming through.

There was one thing from her speech that stood out. Something he hadn't expected, "I do. Not I would."

"She saved my life five years ago. You know Ziva and Jenny? They were friends because they worked together, but they were so much closer because Ziva saved Jenny's life? We're kind of like that. But that's beside the point. You don't trust her, fine. But why can't you trust me?" Abby turned away, refusing to look him in the eye. She had said too much.

She was worried out of her mind about Amanda, Ducky and Gibbs...especially Gibbs. The past eight months had been hell for him. There were times when she'd look at him on a Friday night and didn't know if he'd come back on the Monday morning. She just had to have faith in Amanda and hope that she could talk him out of whatever he was thinking...and give her some warning if she couldn't. Sometimes it seemed like Jenny's memory was the only thing keeping him in DC.

At the same time, she wasn't sure if she should be worried or not that the team already suspected that Amanda wasn't all she seemed. It had only been a few days, but they were paranoid. They knew that Gibbs could take care of himself, but something about him going undercover alone scared them. They were trained investigators and Amanda was an easy target.

Abby was pretty sure that, if she didn't know the truth, she'd have cracked and tried to track Gibbs down by now.

There was a lingering silence in the room as Abby clicked away. She knew McGee wouldn't answer. He didn't want to say no and hurt her or say yes only to be proved wrong. It looked like it was Special Agent McGee in the lab, not Tim. Even though she'd expected this, it still stung to know that he didn't trust her judgement.

Just as the silence was about to become suffocating, Tony and Ziva walked into the lab. Abby turned to look at them, but as soon as she did she wished she hadn't. They both had their 'agent' faces on. This wasn't a social visit.

"No Amanda Mallards entered or left the country in the past week." Tony's voice contrasted with his tough exterior. He was worried, "And there's no record of Ducky or Gibbs leaving the country either."

"You guys have far too much free time. We don't even know they left. For all we know Gibbs and Ducky could still be continental US." Abby's laugh was strained. She didn't know how long she could keep them off the trail. They were allowed to be worried, but this was taking things too far!

"Abby, listen..." Ziva's tone was soft, almost apologetic. She knew what it was like to find out your family wasn't as innocent as you thought. "You have to consider the possibility that –"

"No! You listen!" Abby was shouting now. She slammed her hands on the table in front of her, silencing them all with a glare. McGee experienced a flash of déjà vu as he realised that this reminded him of when Abby had slapped Ziva. "You don't know anything!"

Her outburst had shocked the team into silence. In their haste to make sure Gibbs was okay they hadn't really thought about how this all was affecting Abby or the possibility that Amanda had nothing to do with this. Abby rarely flew off the handle, and when she did she was a force to be reckoned with. There was a shocked silence as Abby continued her rant.

"You don't even _know_ her! You didn't even know she existed until a few days ago! You have no idea what she's done for Gibbs. She's the only thing that's kept him sane. She's the one who got him to stop drinking himself into oblivion. She's the one who stopped him taking all those risks. She won't take any credit for it, she says we all helped – but she's the only one who can get him to think about what he's doing. The only one he won't push away. Remember all those times we've been convinced he's going to get on a plane and not come back? She's the one who talks him out of it!"

"Abby –"

"We can't even say Jenny's name around him." Abby continued, ignoring McGee's attempt to calm her down. "But Amanda phones him every few days, and they talk anywhere from ten minutes to four hours. She's made sure he doesn't do anything stupid and that's a hell of a lot more than we've done! I've told you everything I know, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Why are you so determined to blame this all on her? She hasn't done anything wrong! Besides, she just lost Jenny. She was a complete mess at the funeral. She's not going to risk the only real family she has left!"

"Abby –" It was Ziva who tried to interrupt this time. Abby was close to losing it. Everything felt wrong. Abby was normally happy and cheerful, and even though she'd been more subdued the past few months, it felt wrong to see her so worked up.

"No." Abby shook her head, her voice now a deadly whisper. "I'll say it again. Leave my little sister alone."

As Abby glared at the trio, the phone behind her began to ring. Turning swiftly, a feeling of guilt creeping up on her as the anger dissipated, she picked up on the phone. Her normal greeting was a little stiff, but Cynthia didn't seem to notice – she sounded stressed out herself.

Abby quickly walked out of the lab, not making eye contact with any of the team. She knew they were wrong to obsessively go after Amanda, but she shouldn't have shouted at them. They were just worried about Gibbs. She tossed back over her shoulder, "Vance wants to see me."

* * *

"Why'd you do it, Jen?" Gibbs asked from his position next to Jenny's window. He'd moved when Josh and Ducky had come in to discuss the results and check her over. To be honest, he hated the distance between them but it was the only way they could have this conversation. If they couldn't see each other the words might come easier.

After a lingering silence, Jenny finally answered, "I had to do what was best."

"For who?" Gibbs spun around to glare at her, and was slightly surprised to see her cringe away from it. The last time she'd done that she was still a probie. It didn't make his glare soften any. He was sick of that answer, and now he'd opened the dam there was no way the flood gates could just close again. "Do you _have_ any other answers? Or is that what you say when someone ends up hurt?"

"This wasn't like Paris, Jethro." Gibbs didn't like her defeated tone. She was sitting on the bed, looking at the floor. That wasn't his Jen. He wanted her to fight back. He wanted her to look him in the eye and tell him why she'd done it. He couldn't understand any of this. "This wasn't what was best for me. It was what was best for you. I couldn't put you through what I went through with my mother."

"Did you think about what you _were_ putting me through?" he growled, trying his best to rein his anger in. He didn't hate her. He loved her and _that_ was why he was so mad. Did she not trust him enough to tell him? He knew it would've been hard sitting by her bedside as everything failed, but at least he would know she was okay. He'd thought he'd lost her for good.

Mentioning this seemed to bring Jenny out of her self-loathing. She finally looked up at him, meeting his glare. The fire was back in her eyes. "You don't need to tell me I was wrong. I know what I did. But it was better than having to watch me die."

"What about Ducky? What about Amanda? I've been worried about her for months! Thought she was having some sort of breakdown!" He thought back to all the worries he'd had over the past eight months. He could tell she was falling apart, that she wasn't coping. But he had no idea what was stressing her out and he knew that pushing her would only make her retreat further into herself. His hands had been tied, and he hadn't been in the best position to help her either. "Now I know she was avoiding us because she couldn't face us."

"She didn't have to help me. I didn't make her stay." Jenny knew those words were pointless. Amanda wasn't here because of some sense of duty. She was here because they were family. Jenny would do the same for her in a heartbeat.

"Did you expect her to leave? Make you deal with this alone? She thinks of you as a mom – she's not going to leave you to die alone! Have you met her?" Gibbs' voice was dripping with sarcasm. He knew that Jenny didn't believe the words any more than he did, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to call her out on it.

"Yes, I have. And she's a damn good agent. She should be out there doing what she does best instead of sitting here with me." The self-loathing was back. It wasn't enough for her to ruin her own happiness...she had to affect Amanda's too. Amanda loved being in the field, she didn't want a desk job, but that didn't mean that being on long term 'protection detail' was doing her career any favours. On the few occasions that Jenny had spoken to Amanda's boss she could see that he didn't understand. He wanted her out in the field hunting down terrorists, not sitting in a hospital room helping out on a few operations every now and then. "She should hate me. There are a million reasons why she should, but she doesn't."

"We're family, we have to love you!" The words were out of Gibbs' mouth before he could stop them. This irrationality wasn't doing her or anyone else any favours. The words were true, he did love her, but he didn't think she'd appreciate hearing them now. And especially not in that context.

"...What?" Gibbs' outburst shocked Jenny into silence. He couldn't mean...? An image suddenly flashed in front of her eyes. Gibbs was pressing a kiss into her hair. His whispered words lingered after the flashback faded. '_Love you too, Jen. I never stopped.'_

"You heard what I said." Gibbs' glare and growl were slightly less pronounced. Sighing, he moved towards the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. When Jenny didn't object or push him away he continued. His voice was much softer this time, more resigned. "So you thought what you were doing was best. But did you ever think about what you _were_ doing to us?"

"I was asking far too much of Ducky. Again." Jenny didn't look away. She knew he had to see how sorry she was, but she'd never thought facing him again would be this hard. She made no attempt to keep her emotions out of her voice. There was no need to make him guess what she was feeling when it was obvious. "I made Amanda choose between us, something I promised her I'd never make her do. I put you through one hell so you could avoid another, and if you think I don't hate myself for it then you don't know me!"

"I _do_ know you, Jen." Gibbs' voice was no more than a whisper. He reached out and grabbed her hand, playing with her fingers. Jenny smiled slightly at the gesture, although it was a sad smile. This had hurt him more than she'd thought it would. "That's why I'm so pissed off. Ever since I came back from Mexico it seems like you've been lying to me. Then we finally start to get somewhere and you fake your death. ...And everyone knows but me."

"I...I couldn't tell you." Came her whispered reply after a moment of silence. She twisted her hand around and intertwined her fingers with his. Without taking her eyes off their hands she finally explained herself to him. "La Grenouille. I thought you'd stop me. Tell me I was the Director and that personal vendettas weren't in my job description. I realised too late that you wouldn't stop me from avenging my family. Svetlana, I never thought she'd be a problem. Apart from her we got out clean. I thought I had enough plans in place to let me know if she got too close, but they didn't even pick up that she'd left Europe."

"As for all this...telling you would make it real. Up until I got shot I was in denial. Pretended it wasn't a problem. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't face that reality. I could accept that I was dying, but I couldn't accept that I was leaving you _again_ or that I was leaving Amanda alone. I know she's not my daughter but we don't have to be blood to be family."

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it?" Jenny laughed weakly, raising her eyes to meet Gibbs' gaze. "My plans went as far as 'get better'. I had no idea what I was going to do after that. I had no idea how I was going to tell you."

"That letter. The one you started before you went to LA." Gibbs finally spoke. He wouldn't say everything made sense, but he understood her reasons a bit more. It was all so Jenny. That letter had bugged him since he'd found it. He had no idea what it would have said. The 'what ifs' still haunted him. "What would it have said?"

"I couldn't find the words then...but I've had a lot of time on my hands the past few months." Jenny couldn't help the wry grin that appeared on her face, she should have know he'd find that. "It would probably have started with _all I seem to do is write you letters that will hurt you_. _I'm an idiot_, _I love you_ and _I'm dying_ would have been in there somewhere too."

Instinctively, Gibbs pulled her into a hug. Even though he knew it wasn't true, hearing her say those words scared him. He knew he was going to be a bit overprotective for a while, but there was no way he was letting anything happen to her. He knew from experience that it took a lot to shake a marine this much.

Jenny laid her head on his shoulder, relishing the closeness. Gibbs buried his head in her hair; he still couldn't believe that this was happening. It felt like he'd wake up in his basement any minute and she'd be dead again. Taking a deep breath he asked the question that she'd been avoiding. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"The same reason I ran back in Paris. I was scared." Jenny's whisper was slightly muffled as she spoke into his shoulder. "Back then it was fear of commitment. I didn't know how you felt and I loved you that scared me. So I ran. It was simpler this time. I was scared of losing you. Whether I died or you said no...I'd still lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Jen. I think this kind of proves that there is no way we're getting rid of each other that easily." Gibbs laughed for what felt like the first time in months. Which was probably true. No matter what life seemed to throw at them they still somehow ended up together.

Jenny didn't say anything. She just wriggled her way closer to Gibbs and sighed in contentment when she was comfortable. In his arms was the only place she wanted to be. No matter what happened now, as long as he was there she'd be okay.

They were back to how they used to be. They didn't need words. They had probably used up their emotional-touchy-feely-talk quota for the next few months. Her actions said more than words ever could.

* * *

**That seems like a nice place to stop lol. About 2,000 words over where I normally would but oh well, I wanted to have their 'Talk' in this chapter. **

**Okay, I have no idea when the next update will be. I've not wrote the next chapter, and we're into the countdown to the final exams....7 school weeks and (goes to check calendar) 9 regular ones. *blinks rapidly* that's not that long actually....crap**

**Well, if I do as well as I did in my prelims I'll be happy. A, A, B, B, C (I was two marks off a B =O)**

**I think that turned out okay... **

**Anyways, read and review! 1) it makes me feel loved =D 2) if I've made a mistake mention it and hopefully I won't make it again! 3) I appreciate your opinion and/or ideas. **

**HesMines x**


	9. Sunrise

**Hiyaaaa!!! **

**Studying for exams is boring! =( Which is why you have this chapter now =D**

**Thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited me! I feel loved! ****MatteaAM****, ****black widow mistress****, ****itzcheeseball****, Levana Fay, TomorrowNeverCame, badprobiemcgee Thank yhooo for the reviews! **

**Disclaimer – Nope...don't own it! If I did Jenny and Gibbs would have got together ages ago and she wouldn't be dead. The only things that are mine are Amanda, Josh and the idea.**

* * *

"So, do I have an agency to come back to?" Jenny smiled, her eyes sparkling in amusement, as Gibbs sat back down on the bed beside her. There was, however, an undercurrent of worry in her voice. He'd been filling her in on what had been going on in the eight months she had been 'dead' and, while part of her was relieved that Vance was managing, she was still worried. The agency was like another child to her. She didn't like the sound of _managing_. "Or did Vance dismantle it and sell it off to the highest bidder?"

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I would've shot him if he tried." laughed Gibbs as he placed an arm around Jenny and pulled her closer. Jenny turned towards Gibbs and snuggled into his chest. It was still dark and she was beginning to feel tired, but she didn't feel like going back to sleep. They'd fallen back into their old ways far more easily than she'd expected. He was a little overprotective right now, watching her like a hawk and glaring at the nurses when they came in to take blood for more tests, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't love it.

Personally, she didn't know _why_ they were taking blood before the sun had even risen, but she was past fighting it. After the first month she was content to let Amanda do the intimidating. They just looked at her with understanding and pity when she glared at the offending medical instruments. When Amanda – and now Gibbs – glared, they were more likely to skip the pleasantries, get it over and done with quickly then leave.

Burying her head further into his chest, letting his aroma surround her, she asked the one question she was dreading the answer to, "What about the team?" By the way Gibbs stiffened beneath her, it seemed like her fears were confirmed.

When she left six years ago, she didn't know that four years later she would be the Mom of a dysfunctional, unofficial family. Or that the man she'd left would be the Dad.

As far as she'd been concerned, Amanda was her daughter. Nothing would change that. Then the Directors job had came along and she now had two kids, Amanda and the Agency. And once she'd gotten back into some sort of rhythm with Jethro, his team became part of the equation too. Abby had quickly squirmed her way into Jenny's heart and she somehow found herself with three kids.

In the past few years, Ziva had cemented her place as a little sister. She sometimes looked at her as another daughter, but theirs had always been more of a sisterly relationship. She'd seen it before too, so she was pretty confident in her role. Her best friend in high school had been surprised with a little sister at the age of sixteen. After the horror had finally receded, she confided in Jenny that she was dreading the future because sometimes the line between mother and sister got a little bit blurry.

Tony and Tim... They were Jethro's, she'd just adopted them. She and Jethro might share Amanda and Abby, but the boys were all his. Try as she might, she had no control over how they turned out. Ducky and Jimmy were from Jethro's side of the 'family' too. As much as she had shared with Ducky, Jethro had shared even more. Much like Tim and Tony, they were brothers in everything but blood. Jimmy and Tony were the cousins who were like chalk and cheese but still got on great. When Gibbs had left for Mexico it was actually Jimmy who had become Tony's closest confidant, the Assistant ME understanding Tony's fears and doubts much better than anyone else. It was an unlikely friendship, but one she was sure would last.

She hadn't allowed herself to miss them, not really. She knew it was the little things like that, the normal amidst the chaos, that she'd miss the most. Somehow she'd found herself surrounded by the family she'd never thought she'd have, then she lost it in a hail of bullets and was left clinging to the only part she had left. Some would call it poetic justice...she called it sadistic Gods. Even if she had been alone in the diner and _somehow_ survived, she would have contacted Amanda. There was no way she was putting her little girl through that if she could help it.

Jenny braced herself for the worst as Gibbs began to speak. He spoke cautiously, giving the answer to the question that she couldn't put into words..._how much did I hurt them_, "I'm not gonna lie to you Jen, they took it hard. Tony and Ziva reacted worst, and they did beat themselves up about it for a while, but they're getting better. Ziva was much better at snapping Tony out of it than she was herself." He paused, thinking of how to phrase how it had affected the others. _It destroyed us_ was true, but more than a little harsh. "McGee and Palmer were pretty much lost for a while, but Abby took it the hardest. They're getting there now though. Abby's been single for three months, Ziva's thinking about applying to make this permanent and McGee just signed a deal for two more books. He doesn't know yet, but there's talk of turning the series into movies."

Jenny raised an eyebrow, how could he know if McGee didn't? Regardless, she still felt a surge of pride for the boy. Gibbs smirked before adding, "We might have changed it so that his publisher has to go through me, someone in Legal and a few public relations people before she can get to him. It's made his life a lot easier. Anyway, one of the PR people keeps an eye on all the Deep Six stuff for us and found some interesting leaks. It's been written off as fan based and fake, but I had someone look into it and found out there was actually some basis for the rumours."

"Tony will take that well." Jenny laughed, trying to fight back a yawn.

"Maybe it's time for you to go back to sleep." Gibbs said while he repositioned Jenny on the bed, leaving no room for argument.

Jenny sighed and rolled her eyes at him. When she opened her mouth to retort, she was surprised when he cut her off with a kiss. Smiling into the kiss, she wound her fingers through his hair to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. Realising her intentions, Gibbs fought for control of the kiss as it quickly became more passionate. He rolled slightly so that Jenny was underneath him, and they unwillingly broke apart for air.

"We should probably stop before someone walks in." Gibbs murmured half-heartedly, punctuating every few words with a soft kiss.

"Mmmm," Jenny moaned softly before pulling Gibbs' lips back to hers, losing herself in the kiss.

**[Insert DUN]**

* * *

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Abby asked tentatively as she walked into Jenny's office. No matter what happened, it was still Jenny's office and Jenny's job. They didn't call Vance 'Director' unless it was absolutely necessary. Abby didn't really have anything against the man, but for some reason she didn't like him. She suspected it was more to do with him trying to take Jenny's place than anything else.

"Not me." Vance stood up from behind his desk and walked towards a confused Abby. He gestured to the glass table in the middle of the room where SecNav was sitting. "She's all yours."

"Miss Sciuto." SecNav greeted Abby with a nod and gestured to the chair across from his. Slowly, Abby walked towards the table and slowly sat down. She had no idea what was going on, but for some reason she felt edgy. It wasn't every day that the Secretary of the Navy specifically asked for you. If _he_ asked about Amanda she was pretty sure she would either scream or cry. She _really_ didn't need this right now.

"There's no need to look so worried." He smiled kindly at her, seeing that she was nervous. "It's nothing bad. I'm actually in need of some assistance."

"Really?" Abby drawled. She was still wary, but managed to cover it up with a smile. She might not be an agent, but she did have some experience in that area. She still couldn't figure out why SecNav was asking her for help. He had hundreds of people working for him and a lot of contacts who could probably get him what he needed. Why did he need her? "So, what can I do for you?"

"I know that you know about Dr. and Miss Mallard." He cut right to the chase, ignoring Abby's surprise, "And since you know about them that puts you in a perfect position to help us. Dr. Mallard is our ME, it is unlikely that he would be compromised if we put another agent in. Miss Mallard, however, is slightly more at risk."

"She said there wasn't any risk!" Abby growled. She sat up straighter and glared at SecNav. Amanda wouldn't lie to her about something like that. She wouldn't tell her it was safe when it wasn't. Even that first time she hadn't... Abby quickly stopped that train of thought. This _wasn't_ last time and that wasn't important right now. If SecNav knew something Amanda didn't, if he had put her in danger, she vowed to make him pay if anything happened to any of them.

"From the mission, no." SecNav continued in his calming tone, ignoring her glare. It might have been impressive, but he had been on the receiving end of worse. Namely from Jenny, and he had never given Gibbs a reason to glare at him. "But, you know as well as I do that there are some agents who are unable to be discrete. Especially when it involves a twenty year old, female, British spy. A female James Bond, if you will."

Tony's face suddenly appeared in front of Abby's eyes. She quickly pushed the image away, focusing on the issue at hand. SecNav might know that they knew each other, but he didn't know how close they were. He might have worked with Agent Mallard, but she knew _Amanda_. "But, why does she need my help? If she needed it, she would've said something."

"Miss Mallard speaks highly of you." SecNav seemed hesitant, as if he hadn't expected her line of questioning. "From what she says, you're very good at live distractions and you're no shrinking violet." He let out a small laugh, and Abby couldn't help smiling. That was very true on both counts. _Shy_ was not a word you could apply to her. "There might be some problems getting her...package...into the country. We're taking every step possible to make sure that doesn't happen, but you can never be sure. Someone might recognise...it."

"And you want me to help hide it. Or at least take the focus away from it." Abby nodded, noticing that he was being very vague. She guessed he couldn't give her all the details until she agreed, but that didn't sound so hard. Besides, Amanda, Gibbs and Ducky would be there. She'd be fine. This wasn't like last time.

"Precisely. Besides, I think she was going to...talk to you about this sooner or later."

Abby narrowed her eyes slightly, trying to figure the man out. He was definitely hiding something, and it looked like he was avoiding saying too much. She realised that this was either very sensitive and he couldn't say anything, or...nope. There was no other option. After a long moment she began hesitantly, "Sir, if you know that I know about Amanda...then you must know about last time."

"I do." SecNav nodded, how could he forget? He'd only been in the job three months and it had been his first major dealing with MI6. He knew a lot went on under the radar, but he still couldn't believe that the British were training spies from that young an age. He'd never given it a lot of thought, but he never would have imagined that there was a division of elite spies who had been in training their entire lives. Maybe he was ignorant and underestimating their abilities, but he would _never_ have left a girl who had just turned fifteen to fend for herself. "That was bad luck and a huge lapse in judgement on Amanda's handler's part. He should never have left you two alone. I understand if that makes you wary of taking this on."

Although he said the words, Abby knew he didn't mean them. He was a politician. He didn't understand. He'd never been in that type of situation. _He_ didn't have to watch...

"No! I'll do it." Abby nearly shouted, trying to stop that train of thought. It wasn't his fault that he didn't understand. She was overreacting. "If Amanda says it's okay then I believe her. I just meant... That was meant to be safe. We weren't meant to be in any danger."

"There is always an element of danger. You weren't _meant_ to be in danger, but the threat _was_ there. This time your biggest danger is being discovered." He paused for a moment, weighing his next words. He wanted her to do this, and he owed it to Miss Mallard to try. This operation had four stages, and they were moving into stage three soon. Now that Jenny was no longer dying, the race was on. "Even then, the consequences aren't that bad. It will just expose the secret earlier than we had planned. I've had to deal with worse."

"What's she doing?" Abby didn't expect a straight answer, but there was no way she wasn't going to try. SecNav was avoiding directly naming it, it seemed sensitive, whatever this was...it was important. She leaned back in her chair, pigtails bouncing as she tilted her head. It didn't go unnoticed how weird this felt...actually asking about Amanda's operations. They told each other everything, but when it came to their jobs it was a case of 'ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies'.

"Protection Detail is one way to put it, I suppose. It's not quite Witness Protection. We're moving our...package sometime in the next two to three weeks. This is Miss Mallard's operation. She's been running this by herself for months. Quite the accomplishment for someone so young." Abby couldn't suppress the smile or surge of pride she felt at those words. So that was what Amanda had been doing for the past eight months. She hadn't believed the _'I'm working in-house'_ excuse for a minute. "She requested Dr. Mallard and Special Agent Gibbs, and she expressed some regret at not involving you. I got the impression she felt you should know. I think you know the other operative...Dr. Josh Taylor?"

Abby's eyes went wide as she nodded. It looked like Amanda was not only throwing herself into her work as a coping mechanism...she was breaking the rules as she did it. "Her boyfriend."

Abby had to bite back a laugh at SecNav's shocked face. It looked like he wasn't aware of that. After a few moments of silence, Abby took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She was going to do this, she knew she was, but she couldn't shake the feeling that _something_ was going to happen. It wasn't the feeling of dread that you get before something bad happens. Last time she'd felt that was when she'd heard Jenny was going to LA without Gibbs. No, this was more a feeling of excited expectation. Taking this as a good sign, Abby smirked. "Well then, I guess there's only one question left. When do I leave?"

* * *

"Hey, you okay?" Amanda felt strong arms wrap around her waist as Josh whispered in her ear. Ignoring the rational voice, she leaned back into his comforting embrace. Right now she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She'd take the rational voice having a coronary while screaming that it was getting closer to dawn and they were more likely to get caught if it meant she didn't do anything stupid. "Last time I saw you, you were bouncing off the walls."

Amanda laid her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She sighed as he lightly trailed his hand up and down her side. After a long moment she admitted, "Inside, I'm still bouncing off the walls. I _want_ to be bouncing off the walls...reality just sunk in."

"...And that's a bad thing?" Josh murmured into her neck, not hesitating in his actions, even though was she'd said confused him. Using his free hand which was wrapped around her middle he pulled her even closer.

"Everyone wants answers. Answers I don't have..." she faltered for a minute, unsure of exactly what she was feeling. She wasn't a politician or a doctor. She was a spy. And she was exhausted, confused and hyper at the same time. Not exactly the best combination. "... I actually feel like blowing something up, just to make myself feel better."

"Well, we can't have that." Josh slowly trailed his lips up her neck. He didn't really know what had come over him, they were usually much more careful, but he put it down to being male and not seeing her for days. Not really caring about the answer, he murmured, "When are the briefings?"

"Our Directors at eleven. Then Obama and SecNav at twelve. Brown and Miliband at one." She groaned, turning around in his arms and burying her head in his neck.

Slightly shocked, Josh tightened his hold on her. She must be stressed if she was hiding her face. "Sounds like fun." He muttered, the sarcasm evident in his voice. This was the last thing they needed after about two and a half weeks of stress and worry. He started drawing circles on her back and asked sympathetically, "What are you going to tell them?"

"The treatment worked. She can be moved..." Her voice was slightly muffled, and she'd slipped back into Scottish. All traces of the American accent were gone. She trailed off to let Josh answer her unspoken question.

"Two weeks at the earliest."

"We're going to need to go via Mexico. It's getting her into the US that'll be the problem."

"Private jet?" The confusion was clear in Josh's voice. That was the most obvious option, and she'd never mentioned the return being a problem. What had changed?

"Too risky. Marines might notice. Even if they don't notice her, they'll still remember me. And I _refuse_ to involve the Army. It's simpler this way. Besides...we have a conscience to clear." Amanda trailed off, the enormity of what had to happen now was just starting to be realised. She had to tell Abby. Jethro's team had to find out. Mike Franks had to know that there wasn't anything he could have done. The people who needed to know had to find out. The hard part might be over, but now was where it got tricky. It was time to clean up the mess. "We've also got to read Bethesda in. Aftercare and stuff like that. But we can't do that until we get her into the country."

"I can handle that. The rest is minor details."

"Pretty much." Amanda pulled back to look at Josh, a mixture of annoyance and humour in her eyes. "I have no idea why she went into politics. Yes, I understand the need for them, and I can _definitely_ play politics. But really, life would be so much easier if we just shot them."

She laughed softly and shook her head. Sometimes it was a tempting idea. She took a step away from Josh, realising that they'd taken enough risks for the time being. However, when he released her and she didn't have his support, she swayed slightly. She shook her head to clear it before nodding towards Jenny's room. The pair headed back up the corridor, but before they had moved more than four steps Amanda stopped and swayed dizzily.

Josh, noticing immediately, grabbed her before she could fall. He didn't think she would, but it wasn't a risk he was willing to take. Knowing her far too well, he asked worriedly, "When was the last time you ate or slept? _Properly_?"

"Erm...I ate on the plane and in DC. I've grabbed a few hours sleep here and there but the last time I slept properly was probably when you slipped those sleeping pills in my coffee." There was a hint of accusation in her voice as she ended. That was a new tactic. And very very sneaky. She didn't understand why the thing that was meant to be giving her energy was making her feel sleepy until she'd woken up.

Josh looked at Amanda through wide eyes. How could she discuss this like she was discussing the weather? As the words sunk in, his gaze turned into a weak glare. Amanda bit back a smile; he was like an angry kitten. His glare had nothing on Gibbs or Jenny's.

"That was two days before you left. I'm not even sure how many hours ago that was! Mandy, caffeine is _not_ a sixth food group." He shouted in a whisper, trying in vain not to raise his voice. He took a deep breath and sighed, trying to keep his frustration to a minimum. It wasn't her fault that she had absolutely no idea when to stop. What annoyed him was that, if he wasn't there, she could probably go at least another day or so without proper sleep. She just refused to give up. As much as he hated to admit it, she was a woman living in a man's world. No matter how good she was, she'd always be judged. There would always be someone waiting for her to fail. And she wasn't going to give them that satisfaction.

Amanda glared back much more impressively. She loved him, but sometimes he was just too overprotective. It had taken a while, but she had finally got over the urge to run when things got serious or she felt caged in. She didn't spook as easily anymore, but that didn't mean that certain things didn't put her on the defensive. She stepped out of his arms, now just as steady on her feet as she had been earlier, and stated in an even voice. "It is in my family."

They glared at each other for a moment before Josh sighed and reached out to touch her arm. He could see her walls going up as the silence lengthened and he knew a lost cause when he saw one. He intertwined their fingers and took it as a good sign when she didn't pull away. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Come on."

"What?" Amanda looked at him warily. She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't just give up, and that he was probably going to attack from another angle. Last time she'd refused to sleep – well couldn't, she'd been too worried to sleep – he'd slipped sleeping pills in her coffee. She knew he only did it because he cared, but still...he couldn't always be there to protect her. She was a big girl and she could look after herself.

"We're going for breakfast." He stated matter-of-factly before tugging on her hand and leading her down the corridor. She was right, he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Josh, it's six in the morning. You've still got two hours left." She knew she sounded half-hearted. There was no way she was talking him out of this, going by his grip on her wrist he had already decided. Besides, she kind of liked that idea. She stopped and pulled him around to face her before raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"They can survive without me. There are only six patients in this ward. One of whom has just been cured. There are two nurses. The on call doctor is at home, and the guy who was meant to be here tonight didn't bother coming in because he knew I wasn't going to leave until Jenny woke up. Worst case scenario, Ducky's here. I can't get in trouble since I wasn't supposed to be on tonight and I have today off." He had a smug look on his face, knowing that she couldn't trump that.

"But..." Noticing where they were, her American accent returned. She knew he had her, and he knew she knew, but there was still a tiny part of her that wanted to put up a fight. The rational voice was saying that it was a bad idea to leave with Josh early when the rumours were circulating, but most of her wanted some alone time with her boyfriend.

Seeing a tiny bit of hesitation in her eyes, Josh added reassuringly, "Gibbs isn't leaving and Ducky's holed up in the family room with all the medical stuff. She'll be fine."

Giving him a small smile, showing him that she appreciated his concern, Amanda gave in. She gestured back towards Jenny's room, "Let me get my coat."

* * *

Amanda slowly opened the door to Jenny's room. Now that they were officially back together she knew she'd have to be a lot more careful when she opened doors...or supply closets. They say every kid walks in on their parents once...what they _don't_ say is that said kid is usually scarred for life.

When she realised she wouldn't be walking in on anything, she opened the door more confidently. Jenny was asleep again and Gibbs was sitting next to her, slowly running a hand through her hair. Amanda smiled slightly, she was still giddy at the fact that her 'parents' were back together again.

She'd never admit it to anyone, but losing either of the people in front of her would hurt a lot more than losing her biological parents. And losing Abby would hurt more that losing Lucy. She didn't feel guilty about it anymore – they'd made their choices and she'd made hers. It wasn't her fault that they put their jobs first – sometimes you just have to look at the reality and accept it. Every year she bought three Fathers Day cards and three Mothers Day card. Generic ones for her biological parents and personalised ones for Ducky, Jethro, Jenny and her Grandma. And every year she only got four acknowledgments. If it wasn't for the fact that she knew her Grandma would kill her, she'd have cut them out of her life years ago.

"Hey." She whispered, realising that she had been quiet for too long. As she looked at Jethro, the guilt came flooding back. Sure it went well, but how much damage had she caused along the way? "I'm sorry."

Jethro turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised. He gestured to the space on the bed next to him and chuckled lightly, "Don't I have a rule against that?"

Amanda didn't move. She shrugged slightly, "Not between friends...family." She knew Gibbs wanted her to move closer, his gaze telling her that much, but she couldn't. The guilt, now that it had appeared, was eating away at her and she didn't want sympathy. She wanted him to be mad at her and tell her she'd screwed up, but at the same time she wanted him to give her a hug and tell her it would all be okay. Feeling entirely conflicted she walked towards the window.

"I shouldn't have put you through this." She could feel Gibbs' eyes on her as she wrapped her arms around herself and gazed out the window. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon. She'd lost count of how many times she'd watched the sunrise from this point. She did, however, know that very few of them weren't tainted by stress and worry. She didn't know if this would be one of them, "I screwed up, royally mucked up and that's putting it politely. I...I did a lot of things I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

She sensed, rather than heard, Gibbs get off the bed and pause a few steps away from her. She couldn't detect any false note of sincerity in his voice when he spoke, "You don't have anything to apologise for."

Amanda slowly turned around, her eyebrows raised. She looked a cross between suspicious and confused beyond belief. Gibbs smirked at the look on her face before explaining, "If I remember correctly, 'We all make mistakes. It's how we fix them that matters'." He quoted her Grandma's words back at her, knowing that she wouldn't dispute them. "So you made a bad call. We've all done that. You did what she asked you to do and it saved her life. I can't be mad at you for that."

"Okaaay..." Amanda answered hesitantly, and nodded slightly. It seemed like Gibbs had been affected by the revelation more than she had thought...and he'd finally snapped. "Who are you and what have you done with my Uncle Jethro?"

Gibbs laughed and shook his head at her, managing to get a small smile out of Amanda. She hadn't seen this side of him for a while, and they both knew it. "She's alive and you're okay. I guess I'm just glad I've got my girls back." He paused for a moment before cautiously adding, "Mandy, I thought I was losing you too."

Amanda bit her lip before hugging Gibbs. She'd been afraid of that. She couldn't tell him anything, and sometimes the temptation was too strong, so she clammed up. She called him every few days to make sure he was okay, and they talked for ages, but sometimes she wasn't really there. She shook her head into his shoulder and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere."

"You were so distant...I knew you were hurting and upset and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I couldn't help you." Gibbs pressed a kiss into her hair and held her tighter. He'd known something was up, any father worth his salt would have known, but he wasn't in much shape to help anyone. It was a huge relief to know that she safe. The last thing he needed was to lose her too. Some days it was only her and the team keeping him from giving up and going back to Mexico. "Yeah, I was kinda pissed to begin with. It hurt that she was alive and neither of you told me. But, then I realised this was all happening and... Well, it put everything in perspective."

"Most people would be keel-hauling me right about now." She mumbled into his shirt. Clichéd as it might sound, she already felt a lot better. It'd be a while before she forgave herself, but she wasn't wallowing in self-loathing anymore.

Gibbs pulled back and asked in amusement, "Since when was I 'most people'?"

"Fair point. But still...I screwed up." Amanda looked up at Gibbs with a defeat in her eyes. She didn't look away as she admitted what she had been trying to deny for the past eight months, "I picked my Mom over my Dad and I nearly lost both of them. I should've told you months ago. This is why you don't mix your lives. It's too complicated. I know it'll be a while before you trust any of us again...but I guess we kind of deserve that."

"You and Ducky were following orders. I can't blame you for that." Gibbs tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, brushing off her apology. Anyone else would have been headslapped by now if they'd adopted her approach, but she wasn't 'anyone'. He'd known from the moment that she'd admitted to keeping this secret that she'd be beating herself up about it. Neither of them were comfortable with talking about their feeling, but sometimes it had to be done. "Jen...was being Jen. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. She thought she was doing what was best. And it was...in a way."

He paused for a moment, deciding whether or not to add what he knew to be true. Realising that it had probably crossed her mind at some point, he decided to say it anyway, "She'd have told you anyway. She wouldn't leave you if she could do anything about it. And me and Duck...we've survived worse."

"Mexico. Do you know how close I was to telling you that Abby had another stalker _just_ to get you to come home?" She smiled at the memory now. It had been hard at the time, harder than Moscow, but she could look back at it now and see the funny side. She _conveniently_ forgot that she had beaten him to Mexico and greeted him with a bone crushing hug and the words _'You __**resigned**__?!'_ She shook her head before stating the obvious, "This is so much worse than Mexico, Jethro."

"And...nothing's changed between us." Gibbs continued on as if he hadn't heard her remark. "You can't stay mad at your kids for long. I think the longest I've stayed mad at you is a few hours...And DiNozzo thinks Abby gets away with everything."

Amanda laughed and grinned at Gibbs. She hadn't been anywhere near his team since Jenny had left, it'd felt weird without her there, but she was pretty sure he was right. Abby got away with murder, but Amanda knew that she got away with a lot more.

* * *

**Okay....I do not like that ending. It's horrible but I couldn't get it to end properly! Grr. **

**Ziva...I know she sees Gibbs as a sort of father figure, but I always got the impression that she was more sisterly with Jenny tbh and that sometimes the lines got a little blurry between big sister and mother figure. **

**Anyways, that's another chapter up...my exams are between May the 12th and June the 2nd (last exam = chemistry exam *shudders*), so I can pretty much guarantee that I won't get anything up in that period, but I should be able to get one more chapter up before then...maybe**

**Oh, and does anyone have any suggestions for who could play Ducky and Jenny in a Deep Six movie? I have **_**Fornell**_**...but I don't have them lol**

**HesMines x**


	10. Arrangements

**Sorry! I meant to have this written/posted ages ago, but stuff kept coming up. Not too sure about parts, and I think Ziva might be a bit occ, but if I don't get it up now I'll never get it up! I had it checked and everything on Friday night, but due to unforeseen circumstances and…erm….**_**seen**_** circumstances, I got it up tonight. Sorry! **

**Okay….not much Jibbs in this one…it's kinda a filler chapter cos I can't just move it onto the next bit…there's McAbby though (yeah…somehow Abby and McGee decided to get together while I wasn't looking and now there's more McAbby in this story than I had planned lol) Two uses of strong language…I think.**

**Thanks to everyone who favourited and alerted me! Thanks for bearing with me…I'll be back to regular updates soon…promise! ****MatteaAM****, ****screaming(dot)monkeys****, ****black widow mistress****, ****Levana Fay****, ****HHrbelong2gether****, ****TomorrowNeverCame****, ****badprobiemcgee**** Thank yhooo for the reviews!! =D **

**Disclaimer - Yeah…of course I own it. That's why I'm sitting here **_**rewriting**_** two seasons *rolls eyes* teehee**

* * *

"So, what did Vance want?" McGee asked from next to Abby's computer. She'd told him to stand there when she'd returned from her hour long meeting with Vance and she hadn't stopped since. The confusion was clear on his face as she strode purposelfully into her lab and dropped a pile of manila folders on the stainless steel desk between them.

"Nothing. It was SecNav." She answered distractedly, quickly brushing his question away. She looked up from the pile of files and in a bussiness-like tone she added, "These need to be taken over to the Archives to be filed." She turned again, this time heading towards her Mass Spectrometer.

"That's not 'nothing', Abs. What did he want?" McGee pleaded with the back of her head. He'd asked this question several times in the past ten minutes, but she'd been too busy to take much notice.

He knew Vance hadn't fired her. Abby would currently be planning his demise, not packing up her lab. Besides, everyone knew what would happen if he did. Gibbs would walk out immediately – raising hell as he left – with the team, Ducky and Palmer would be right behind him. Vance would lose at least half the agency by the end of the day. A move like that would be political sucide. If there was one thing that everyone in the Navy Yard knew, it was that you don't mess with the favourite.

"He needed my help." Abby shrugged as she quickly pressed buttons on the machine. She turned to look expectantly at her computer, grinning when it beeped and started printing out results. "Special Agent Wilson needs to see those. He lost the originals and if he can't remember what they mean, Jimmy can explain."

"Abs, you're basically packing up your lab." He reached out and grabbed her around the waist as she headed back towards her back office. She looked up at McGee and raised an eyebrow. Her expasperation at being stopped while she was on a role was obvious. "Is this anything to do with Ducky and Gibbs?"

"No idea." Abby looked into McGee's eyes and spoke confidently. Ever since she'd left the office with her orders, she'd been working up to this point. She was pretty sure that she could keep her act up for the next few hours, but McGee was the hitch. He was the one who might break her.

"I think you do." McGee's voice was softer now as he leaned down so that his face was level with hers. He tilted his head to the side and put on his best pleading face.

After a lingering moment, Abby tore her eyes away from his. She swiftly shook her head, trying to clear it, before realising that that probably wasn't the best thing to do. She should have kept eye contact. "Not gonna work Timmy. I can't tell you what I don't know." She detached herself from his arms – trying not to think about the fact that she liked it – and occupied herself with moving the pile of files into a cardboard box.

"Abby." McGee groaned as she walked away. He turned around to find Abby holding the cardboad box out to him with a look that clearly said _Archives please._

When he didn't answer or move to take the box, Abby sighed, "Look, I don't know the details. All I know is Gibbs left three days ago and now SecNav wants me to leave tomorrow. He won't even tell me what he needs me for."

"So you took the job blind?" McGee felt the colour drain from his face. Her words reverberated around his brain, taunting him. He couldn't imagine her in danger – it was bad enough that they had no idea if Ducky and Gibbs were okay. She didn't even know if she was going to be with Ducky and Gibbs. As the reality sunk in, McGee could feel a migrane coming on. Whether it was to do with the fact he could imagine the headslap he would get or the fact that Abby was being so reckless he didn't know. Running a hand over his face, he muttered, "Gibbs is gonna kill me!"

"No. I...Look. I don't know all the details. But I do know it's highly classified and sensitive and I _can't_ know until I get on that plane." Abby's voice rose in pitch as she pleaded with McGee. She turned to place the box back onto the table so that she didn't have to look at him. He was making this harder than it needed to be – was it really that hard to trust her?

There was silence for a moment, and Abby felt McGee move towards her. She looked up when he grabbed her hand and stopped her from seaching through the pile. "Do you want me to find out?"

"McGee, c'mon, it's not that big of a deal." Abby laughed, making no move to remove her hand from under his. She suddenly realised what was wrong. He'd mistaken her sudden flurry of activity and her silence for worry. "There has to be a reason he can't tell me. I don't want to put anyone in danger and I definitly don't want you ending up in prison."

She knew there was no way he could fight her logic. The last thing any agent wanted to do was compromise a misson, but she had more than one reason for stopping his search. If he went looking, he might find out about Amanda. She couldn't let them find out about Amanda – especially while she was here and could stop them. Abby also knew that MI6 and MI5 had whole departments who waited for hackers. If McGee was lucky enough to get in, she knew they'd catch him in minutes. He wasn't going to prison because of her.

Suddenly, McGee pulled Abby into a hug. Abby burrowed her head into his chest, enjoying how it felt to be in his arms. She quickly pushed those thoughts away – she'd already hurt him once and rule twelve was there for a reason. McGee, who was having a similar internal debate, muttered, "You do know Gibbs is going to murder me."

"He's not going to kill you McGee." Abby sighed in exasperation. She couldn't tell him that she was going to meet Gibbs – even though she was pretty sure that he'd figure it out eventually – but she didn't want him to worry the entire time she was away either.

"And what about Tony or Ziva when they find out I know?"

"You're such a pessmist McGee!" Abby shook her head as she stepped out of his arms. She paused for a second before adding, "And they're not going to find out until I'm gone. I don't want to be interogated again."

McGee looked at Abby in resignation. She had turned back to reorganising her lab, and this time he didn't stop her. She really was going out into the field…and there was nothing he could do about it. Orders from SecNav were orders from SecNav. He sighed and picked up the box that had to go over to the Archives. "I'm sorry about earlier. I do trust you, it's just..."

"You're worried, I get it." Abby shrugged, trying to downplay his apology. "Just...don't take it out on me."

Abby looked up and smiled at McGee. She watched as he walked out the door, and once she heard the telltale ding of the elevator she stopped what she was doing. She leant back against the table and ran a hand through her hair. McGee believed her, but she didn't expect to feel so bad about it. She ignored the little voice that said it was because it was _McGee_ and she'd half expected him to see through her, that she wouldn't feel this bad if it was Tony or Ziva.

_It's okay to like him, you know. _Abby spun around and came face to face with Amanda. This time, the spectre was dressed normally and her voice was the same as it usually was. _I've always said rule number twelve was redundant._

'Amanda' tilted her head and studied Abby carefully. _You haven't even admited you like him, have you? God, you're as bad as __**them**__! _The fake Amanda clasped a hand over her mouth to try to conceal her giggles.

Internally, Abby sighed. This wasn't the Amanda she had now. Ever since Jenny's death, Amanda had been gradually getting more distant and she was throwing herself into her work. It was like there was constantly something on her mind – which there probably was – she wasn't the same girl as the giggling spectre in front of Abby's eyes. In a way, this Amanda was as much of a ghost as Jenny and Kate.

_Stop thinking like that! _Abby looked up to see 'Amanda' glaring at her. _**I'm**__ not dead and __**you're**__ not a bad person. _Abby smiled sheepishly. Sometimes her immagination was just too good. These figments could read her mind _and_ react like the person. _Trust me. Everything will work out okay. Just __**probably**__ not in the way you'd expect it to. And as for McGee…_

The specture winked at Abby and disappered, leaving the confused Goth staring at the spot where she had stood. After a second Abby burst out laughing and turned back to her work. _Of course_ Amanda would trail off suggestively. Payback really was a bitch.

* * *

"Mike, you got a call." A Mexican woman shouted across the cantina.

Mike Franks looked up at the woman, who gestured at the phone in her hand while looking at him increduosly. Sighing, Mike stood up and walked up to the bar, leaving his daughter-in-law and grandaughter with the rest of the women. "What?"

"God Mike, drinking at eleven in the morning? You really need a life old man." Amanda laughed, surprised that he was in the bar this early in the day. Well..._his_ day.

Mike rolled his eyes at the teasing tone coming from the girl on the other end of the line. Somehow she always had a comment. "The last thing I need is a _wife_." He stated seriously, playing her old man comment back at her. "Besides, as much as I like my solitude, the kid and her mom need to be around people."

Ever since his son's wife and daughter had been in the picture Mike had surprised himself, and the local community, by becoming much more social. Despite the cultural differences, Leyla had almost instantly been accepted by the local girls. And that meant he was in town several times a week, watching Amira while Leyla was with the girls or helping Carmen out with her stall. He didn't grudge her the 'girl time', and he knew that the kid should have some form of human contact. What he hadn't expected was to be the Grandpa who sat in a bar (_not _drinking) with his granddaughter while everyone fawned over her. He had to admit that it had been slightly terrifying the first time he'd played babysitter, but now he was in his element. A _very_ scary thought.

"Well then," Amanda's drawl shook Mike from his thoughts. He was slightly worried by the calculating tone of her voice. It usually meant that a woman was planning something, "it's a good thing you're going to be having a some house guests in a few weeks."

"Inviting yourself down?" Mike asked, the amusement clear in his voice. Even though it was kind of backwards, this was his way of saying it was okay. He didn't mind the company, really, and there was something about the kid that he liked.

"Someone has to take initiative." Amanda laughed, acknowledging his agreeement. Sometimes it surprised her how similar Mike and Jethro were. But then, sometimes, it was like they were polar opposites. She was still laughing as she added, "Besides, if I remember correctly, Jethro is always welcome."

Mike tensed, knowing that Gibbs was a touchy subject for them both. As much as he liked to come across as an uncaring bastard, he was worried about Gibbs. He _knew_ how Gibbs felt about Jenny, and he knew that her death had affected him more than Shannon's had. What he _didn't_ know was how he was coping. Hell, he never did get over his first wife's death...how was he supposed to get over Jenny's, "So how is Probie anyway?"

Amanda paused, and Mike felt his gut start to churn. _Something_ had changed; there was something that Amanda wasn't telling him. She took a deep breath before admiting quietly, "...It's like night and day. He's great."

"You weren't so confident a month ago, kid." Mike covered up his worry with his gruff, no nonsence lead agent voice.

"A lot can change in a month, Mike. You know that as well as I do." Amanda's voice was icy now, reminicent of Jenny's. Her tone wasn't accusatory, but Mike heard the unspoken meaning. _Jenny __**was**__ alive...and a month later she was dead. _He shifted uncomfortably before mentally headslapping himself. That was the guilt talking...Amanda had already made it pretty clear she didn't blame him. Well, according to Gibbs anyway. Mike, however, had come up with another reason for the girl's silence.

"Yeah, that I do. You sure he's better?"

"Positive." Amanda paused for a moment, her spy instincts picking up Mike's train of thought. She inwardly sighed...they really needed to pay him a visit. She quickly changed the subject, "So, how are the women in your life?"

"They're just fine. I swear I'm gonna have to find a nice big stick before Amira turns into a teenager. She's just a toddler but she's already getting a little too friendly with some of the local boys." Mike leaned back against the bar, a smile creeping onto his face. He knew he was a doting grandad and, to be perfectly honest, he didn't care. What he _did_ care about was the fact that his granddaughter seemed to like boys _a little_ bit too much. She was going to be hell when she was a teenager.

Amanda burst out laughing at the image that popped into her head. She clasped a hand over her mouth as an image of Mike standing in his doorway, menacingly waving a tree branch, swam in front of her eyes. Ignoring the curious looks she was getting from the other people in the coffee shop, the looks that questioned her sanity, she tried in vain to regain control. Gasping, she choked, "Big stick? I would've thought you'd go straight for the gun?" before she burst into another fit of giggles.

"Nah, I'll save that for the ones that actually make it to the house." Mike was slightly bemused by the girl's reaction. He thought it might have something to do with the fact that he wasn't entirely joking...or maybe Gibbs had said something similar about her.

"Sounds like a plan." Amanda muttered, a stray giggle slipping through her lips. A low ringing came from Amanda's handbag, and Mike raised an eyebrow when he heard it through the phone. He heard Amanda groan after the buzzing and, after some static which signaled the phone moving against her long hair, she sighed, "Look, I've got a meeting to go to, but I'll call you later with the details. Tell the girls I'll see them soon."

"Will do. Have fun with the suits." Mike chuckled at Amanda's resigned tone. He didn't know exactly _what_ she did, but he had a pretty good idea. Combine that with the fact she was basically Gibbs' daughter (Jenny or no Jenny) and you had someone who would rather be out there doing her job than stuck in some stuffy office. He had to bite back another laugh when she groaned at his words.

He listened as she quicky said goodbye and he was left with a dial tone. He shut the phone off and put it back down on the bar before turing to the barmaid and ordered another soda. As he waited for his drink, he thought about the girl who had just hung up.

The first time he'd met her was about an hour before Gibbs had appeared in Mexico. To say he'd been surprised was an understatement. He didn't think that Gibbs would have been able to let another child into his life, especially so soon after losing Kelly, but apparently he was wrong. If he hadn't known any better, he would have said they had to be related. However, no matter how much she seemed like a daughter to Gibbs…there were some things about her that didn't quite add up.

She clearly saw Gibbs as her father – so what had happened to her biological one? She was nineteen, she should have been at school – how did she manage to get two weeks off in the middle of the year? And why didn't she seem to care about that fact? She seemed too grown up and he got the impression that she'd never been a naïve little girl. That had been the first thing he'd noitced about her, and it was enough to awaken the agent inside of him. So he'd watched, and what he saw surprised him.

She'd been armed. Mike had expected her to carry a knife – Gibbs would have drilled that into her years ago. What he hadn't expected was the gun. Or the fact that she'd been able to conceal it so well that he didn't notice it until hours later. Brittish civilians didn't have the right to carry guns (they didn't have the Second Ammendment) and Britain was one of the very few countries that didn't have an armed police force. So she had to be _something_.

Mike had worked with enough people throughout his career to know the signs. She was some sort of Government operative. That idea didn't sit well with him – he could hear Amanda and Jenny in his head screaming 'chauvanist' – but it was the only real possibility. He knew Jethro knew, but he'd never tell him.

_It's not my story to tell Mike. As much as I hate to admit it, she's a big girl. She can look after herself. She doesn't need a pair of old chauvinists like us trying to protect her._

He was brought back to the present when the barmaid shouted his name. He picked up his drink and walked back over to the table.

'What did it matter anyway?' he thought as he sat back down. She was a good kid. And if she worked for some Government then that was her perogative. He prefered his simple life. As long as she didn't bring her work onto his beach, she could do whatever the hell she wanted. He would just give himself a headache trying to figure her out. However, as he pulled Amira onto his knee, he couldn't ignore the churning in his gut.

_Something_ had changed…and he was pretty sure he'd find out what it was soon enough.

* * *

Ziva flicked the lights on as she walked into her appartment. She walked straight into her living room to drop her things before collapsing on the couch. The past few days had been, to be honest, hell. Firstly, Gibbs and Ducky disappeared. Then, they'd somehow mangaged to do nothing but argue with Abby who, then too, disappeared. She groaned, letting her head fall into her hands. They were overreacting. She knew that. Hell, Tony had even bugged Abby's cell without telling McGee! But she also knew that their fears weren't unfouned. Gibbs had been a mess since Jenny had died.

The team…the family…they were falling apart.

She was still haunted by the memories of that day. Watching Jenny being wheeled out to the ambulance…her blood on the diner floor…the phone call telling her that Jenny had been DoA…the look on Tony's face as he had told Gibbs that the woman he loved was dead…that they hadn't saved her…

She was in the safety of her own home, and for once she let her guard drop completely. The tears in her eyes didn't fall, but the fact they were even there was unheard of. She wasn't the cold blooded killer she had been when she had arrived in America…she was human. And she'd lost her best friend. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair as she replayed the last eight months in her head, trying to make sense of the past few days.

After the funeral, Gibbs had gone into meltdown. At first, he'd drank himself into oblivion every night…and then that stopped. Either way, she was glad that Vance had basically insisted that they all took bereavement leave. While she and Tony hadn't been as bad as Gibbs, none of them need to be seen like that. Then, once they'd returned to work, he'd thrown himself into the job. He'd started taking bigger and bigger risks until they were convinved he was going to get himself killed. And then that had stopped too. He had nearly gotten himself shot on the Friday, and then when he came in on the Monday it was like nothing had ever happened. He just…stopped. They didn't know what had made him stop, and that was what scared them. It had been months, but they were still waiting for him to snap.

"_You don't even know her! You have no idea what she's done for Gibbs. She's the only thing that's kept him sane. She's the one who got him to stop drinking himself into oblivion. She's the one who stopped him taking all those risks. She's the only one who can get him to think about what he's doing. The only one he won't push away."_

Ziva could hear Abby's words from earlier as if the Goth was sitting next to her. She could still see the hurt etched on Abby face as she'd tried to make them understand. Was that it? Was that what had made Gibbs see sense? The girl he considered a daughter begging him to stop before she lost him too?

Possibly.

Ziva sighed again and sat back up. A flash of colour caught her eye as something fell from the windowstill. She stood up and slowly walked over to pick it up. Ziva had never been the sentemental type, but she'd gradually become more open to the idea in the time she had been on Gibbs' team. Before, her 'sentementally' had consisted of a box hidden in the back of her wardrope with pictures and other items that had meant something to her. Now, a few of those pitcures had found their ways into frames scattered around her house and new pictures of the team had joined them. This was a million miles away from her old life...but she couldn't bring herself to _really_ miss it.

A sad smile appeared on her face as she realised what it was. Crouching down she picked up the postcard from Jenny's last trip to Paris. Tears sprung to her eyes again as she read over the words again. _The weather's been great…too bad I haven't been able to get anywhere near it. Can't wait to get home – I miss the 'family' and normality. Don't kill DiNozzo, see you soon. _You'd never think that those were the words of a dying woman. It was so casual. A simple note home…

Ziva gasped as the thought that had been evading her all day suddenly broke through into the forefront of her mind. It hadn't been a thought she had been trying to recall, it was a memory.

"_What are you doing?" Ziva whispered as she reached her redheaded partner in the busy Cairo hotel lobby._

_Ziva watched with wide eyes as Jenny pulled out a pen and quickly wrote the words __**Miss you, Jx**__ in her loopy scrawl. The look on Ziva's face quickly turned to one of horror as Jenny put the postcard in an envelope and added a blue heart shaped necklace to the package. Jenny flipped the envelope over, revealing that it was already addressed. Ziva put a restraining hand on Jenny's arm, and when the redhead cocked an eyebrow in confusion Ziva nodded towards the package._

_Jenny shrugged of Ziva's hand and whispered, "There's someone who needs to know I'm still alive, and this is the easiest way to do it." Then, before Ziva could stop her she handed the envelope over to the man behind the reception desk who assured her that the package would be sent first thing the next morning._

_As they walked back to the room, Jenny explained, "I've always made sure she knows I'm okay. Its hell going months not knowing if someone is alive or dead and I refuse to put her through that." _

"_But you don't have any kids." Although there was no change in Ziva's tone, Jenny knew she was confused. Jenny knew she sounded like a mother, but Ziva didn't know anything about Amanda. There was no record of her anywhere in Jenny or Jethro's files…she wouldn't even be mentioned in Ducky's until she was eighteen. MI6 was very protective of its young spies. "You said your family died years ago."_

"_I know." Jenny had smiled mystriously at Ziva, effectively ending the conversation._

Ziva felt her stomach drop as everything fell into place. Amanda was the one Jenny had sent inferquent postcards to while they were undercover. Jenny's envelope had been addressed to her home in London, but said _M Sheppard_ instead of _J Sheppard_. At the time, Ziva had realised it was a fake name – Jenny had no living relatives and, anyway, none had names beginning with M. Now it all made sense.

M – Mandy…Amanda. Sheppard – she was sending it to her own home and didn't want to raise suspicion. Mandy Sheppard…

This time it was Tim's voice that echoed through Ziva's mind. _Abby sees her as a sister. She's going to protect her no matter what. Just like I did with Sarah. She also says that as far as Amanda's concerned, Jenny and Gibbs are her Mom and Dad. _

Ziva internally groaned. This wasn't good. It had been bad enough when they were investigating Ducky's niece…but now they were hunting down Gibbs' 'daughter'. He would murder them if…_when_ he found out and Jenny would come back to haunt her.

She had known the girl had existed. How could she not? She'd had to profile everyone Ari might have come into contact with. But not even she could have foreseen this.

Amanda had come up when she had been researching Ducky. She was his youngest niece. The only member of his family, other than his mother, with whom he had frequent contact. One of his three medical proxys, the other two being Gibbs and Jenny. Privately educated and had spent almost half her life in the States. Visited the Navy Yard frequently until, roughly seven years ago, the visits decreased signficantly, then five and a half years ago they almost completely stopped.

There wasn't much information on her, but it was enough to put her in the low risk category. Her visits had almost stopped – at the time Ziva had attributed it to growing up, but now she was pretty sure it had something to do with Jenny's absence – she was nearly finished with school. There was very little chance of Ari running into her, so there had been no more research. She was almost a complete enigma.

That hadn't worried Ziva at the time, but it should have set off the warning bells. Ziva prided herself on her attention to detail and her ability to recall specifics some time after the fact, but she couldn't remember _anything_ about Amanda. And that made her think that the intel she had aquccuired had been purposely vauge. There had been enough information that she didn't get suspicious but there should have been more there. She should have been able to remember _something_ about the girl.

Ziva growled in frustration. She stood up and put the postcard back on the window, glaring out into the darkness. Her instincts had never failed her before, and she would be damned if she ignored them now.

She'd already made that mistake once, and she didn't plan on making it again.

As she glared out the window, subconciously scanning the area for threats, she began to plan. The first thing she would do tomorrow was check the security footage from when Amanda arrived in the Navy Yard. It was unlikely that she would be wearing the necklace, but it wouldn't hurt to check and she could get a picture to run through various databases. Then she would go to Gibbs' house. If what Abby said was true, there would be some trace of the girl there.

As her plans dwindled off into minor details, she began to think about her boys. She'd never to admit it, but Abby's affectionate terms had rubbed off on her. She now privatly refered to Tony, McGee and Jimmy as 'her boys'. They were her family.

Tony and Jimmy wouldn't be a problem – Tony was just as on edge as she was and Jimmy would go along with whatever Tony was doing. McGee on the other hand… He was too loyal to Abby. He might be worried, but he would believe in her until he had solid proof otherwise. She mentally put a question mark next to his name, unsure of how easy it would be to get through to him.

Ziva inwardly cringed as she realised what she was doing. She was dividing the family up into _us_ and _them_. She quickly pushed that thought away. She didn't care if she was overracting now…too much was at stake. She didn't _want_ anymore regrets. A conversation from months ago echoed in her head.

_I didn't think anything could make you jump…It was merely a reflex…Ah. In America, we call that jumping…In Mossad, we call it the difference between life and death._

* * *

**Yes…I know…I'm cruel! And I'm going to be even crueler by telling you that I'm out of comission until June 2****nd****…possibly June 11****th**** (I **_**hate**_** exam season! ….eight days *cries*)**

**Anyways, a few notes….**

**1) I think it's the Second Ammendment…tell me if I'm wrong, I was going by my Modern Studies notes =P**

**2) I used google for the names for Mike's daughter-in-law and granddaughter lol I don't think we ever found them out did we?**

**3) Think the McAbby might get a bit more serious…even when I'm thinking a few chapters in advance it's pretty there. Tiva on the other hand…I'm better with the flirting and stuff.**

**4) The necklace Jenny put in the envelope had a sapphire heart on it and it'll be important later if the story goes according to plan. Amanda was born in April, but I thought it was a bit cheesy to make it a diamond so I used and alternative birthstone. I'm born in January, but I HATE garnets with a vengance! Anyways, the website I used to find my alternative birthstone (its rose quartz…much nicer) gave me sapphire as the alternative for April (It's apparently the Arabic, Hebrew and Roman birthstone for April *shrugs*)**

**Okay…definitly shutting up now =P Review...you know you want to =D**

**HesMines x**


	11. Amanda vs Hollis

**I'm back! Exams went…okay. Modies and maths were fine (paper 2 in maths was horrible though!) Human Biology went okay I think. I was just glad to get Chemistry over and done with…and as for English I don't have a clue! Close Reading went pretty well, first essay was a bit 'meh' and the last one was just crap! What bugs me is I **_**can**_** do them in 45 mins…I just can't do it in exams. =( **

**Anywho…I'm back =D**

**Firstly, I know it's not the best title in the world but it works. In the next few chapters there will be references to Gibbs' relationship with Hollis (the woman herself **_**may**_** make an appearance *hint hint wink*) and her realtionship with Amanda was…strained. I thought the easist way to make it understandable was to just put together a chapter showing it instead of constantly refering back or using flashbacks. So these are basically snapshots that take place between Amanda meeting Hollis and the end of Mibbs. I know it's a bit OOC near the end but in my defence I hated Mibbs (I was sooo happy when she retired) but I also rationalised her actions and I don't plan on turning her into a total scapegoat...anyways, there's some character development in here and it'll explain/introduce some of the stuff that'll happen. Gibbs might be a bit OOC too (mushy and kinda depressing…you'll know what I mean when you read it!), but that's how it came out. **

**The other reason this isn't the chapter? I'm working out a few kinks so it might take a bit longer to get it up and I really wanted to put something up. I hate dingying you guys and I didn't want this to turn into Back to the War (though I still have a while to go before I hit the six month mark! lol)**

**Claire and the Clones****, ****gibby101****, ****Levana Fay****, ****The Foreign Writer****, ****fairy (dot) queen (dot) of (dot) sparks (dot)**** – Thanks for the reviews! =D And thanks to the first two for telling me the names…they make much more sense than the ones that I found on a baby-names website where I went eenie meenie miney mo! **

**Disclaimer … Nah, I don't own it =( But if I somehow come to aquire it in the near future you can expect the return of Jenny!**

* * *

**Amanda meets Hollis x**

"Come on, there's someone I want you to meet," whispered Gibbs as they walked into the restaurant.

Hollis looked at him in shock, trying to figure out who exactly he would want her to meet. She'd met his team, and she was pretty sure there were no parents. Gibbs put his hand on her back and guided her into the lounge, silently laughing at her reaction.

When they got into the lounge, Gibbs searched the room for someone when a brunette in a blue dress and really high heels crashed into him. As Gibbs returned the hug, Hollis was suddenly reminded of Jenny.

While the hug was reminicent of Abby, the girl reminded her more of Jenny than of the bubbly Goth. They looked nothing alike physically, but they had the same kind of presence and the girl's dress sense was eeriely familiar. They were both the type of girl who oozed self-confidence and could make every woman in the room feel self-conscious just by walking in…but there was always something about them that made you know they were more than just pretty faces.

Hollis got the feeling that _her_ opinion would matter more than anyone else's.

...

"...that's not what I said. I _do_ like her," Amanda's voice drifted back around the corner. Hollis paused. She knew it probably wasn't a good idea to eavesdrop but Amanda was clearly the only woman in Gibbs' life and if there was anyone she had to impress, it was her. "But, Jethro, that's what everyone said about Stephanie. I just think you're making a huge mistake."

"Amanda, you _know_ we're not–" Gibbs sounded slightly exasperated, but before he could finish he was cut off by Amanda. Part of Hollis wondered what he wasn't doing – marrying her sounded like a possible end to that sentence, but it was a bit early for that. Maybe getting serious with her? A small part of her brain rationalised that the 'we' might not include her, but that just fuelled that part that was hurt Amanda didn't think she was good enough for Gibbs.

"I wasn't talking about that. You know what I think about _that_ mistake." Amanda paused, and Hollis knew she was thinking about how to word what she was trying to say. Well at least she knew one thing; the 'we' didn't include her. And that was just what she needed…another obstacle in her relationship with one of the most diffcult men she'd ever met. "I can't really remember Laura. I mean, you were divorced before I turned seven. Diane...wasn't actually that bad until she realised your job came first. I've never been able to look at a seven iron the same since! And…I _liked_ Stephanie, but she was you trying to prove to yourself and everyone else that what happened didn't matter. It didn't work anyway, because it just proved to everyone that it _did_ matter. The only reason I met her before the wedding was because I was in the country at the time. None of your exes accepted that this is how you are... Hollis? She's not different. What they want, you can't give."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Gibbs' voice was teasing, though Hollis couldn't figure out what was so funny about what Amanda had said. She had a million and one questions and doubts running through her head…and they were sitting there making jokes.

"Eww! Jethro! Urgh, I was talking about _commitment_!" Amanda squealed, and she could imagine the girl hiding her face in her hands to hide her blush, "If you didn't want to talk about this now you just could've said! Did you _have_ to give me those mental pictures? Was I not scarred enough as a child?"

Hollis took this as he cue to return to the table, turning round the corner she saw Gibbs smirking at Amanda who was having trouble trying to control her laughter. Once Amanda had got her laughing under control and their dessert had arrived, she saw Amanda flash a look at Gibbs.

Amanda, at least, knew they'd been overheard. Seeing that look Hollis decided, only woman in his life or not, Amanda was just going to have to get used to having her around.

_[A/N – Amanda was a teenager when Gibbs and Jenny were together (ages 10-14)...she's not stupid. There's a __**reason**__ Gibbs uses the elevator – unlike conference rooms or store cupboards or the evidence locker etc you can't be disturbed. Let's just say it made Amanda a lot more cautious when opening doors.]_

* * *

**Permanent Fixture**

"Who the _hell_ does she think she is?" Amanda stormed into Abby's lab and threw her bag onto Abby's desk as she shrieked in frustration.

Abby poked her head around the door into her rarely used office and said to the back of Amanda's head, "Diplomatic immunity or not, killing Mann is a bad idea. What'd she do?"

"Apparently, I need to '_adjust my attitude' _and see her as '_a_ _permanent_ _fixture_ _in_ _his_ _life'_!" Amanda's voice was dripping with sarcasm, "I'm not three and she's _nothing_ to do with me! She's just some random person that my Uncle-slash-Dad happens to be going out with!"

Amanda turned around, her eyes wild. Abby knew that look, she'd seen it before. Not only was it was similar to Gibbs when you got him going, Amanda had had the same look in her eyes just before she'd saved Abby from the man holding a knife to her throat. She knew Amanda wouldn't do anything, but that look still scared her. It brought back memories she wished she didn't have and gave her a glimpse into Amanda's other world...the one where she was capable of anything.

Abby's attention switched back to Amanda when she growled, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Since when has _anyone_ considered a _woman_ a _permanent_ _fixture_ in his life!"

"What does Gibbs say?" Abby was careful with her question. She knew that Gibbs considered Amanda his daughter, and she _knew_ he wouldn't put up with anyone treating her like that – but this was new territory for her. Unlike Amanda, she had only heard the horror stories about his ex-wives.

"He doesn't know. Yet," Amanda growled, her tone threatening violence, "What's the betting she denies it or sugar-coats it when he asks?"

"So...where does she rank in his exes?" Abby asked. Her gaze was fixed on the computer, it was usually a good idea to let Amanda and Gibbs blow off steam before unleashing them on the unsuspecting public.

"Put it this way, I'd rather he was still with Diane. And I'm talking end of the relationship when she went after him with a golf club. The only reason I didn't do anything is Jenny will shout at me if I get blood on the carpets." She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, trying to get her temper under control – she could see why people said she should have been born a redhead. She knew things were bad when it was her loyalty to Jenny and not one of the many other deterants that was stopping her from shooting someone. "Come on, we need caffeine. I'll even get Caff-Pows."

...

"Do you know why it's just you she seems to not get on with?" asked Abby casually as they walked down the crowded street, "I mean, we put up with her but no one can be ..._that_ oblivious to how other people feel about them. Jenny doesn't let on that she doesn't like her, but it's obvious that Mommy hates her. Unlike the rest of us you've always been nice enough to her face."

"Oh, Hollis _hates_ me," smiled Amanda as she took a sip of the Caff-Pow. She sounded much more cheerful now that she had some caffeine in her system, "And I've only met her three times. You know that wicked stepmother mentality?"

"Yeah...it's something to do with how it's not the person it's a state of mind...I love that top!" squealed Abby pointing at a black t-shirt with red and white writing.

"Abs, you don't need another Android Lust top!" she giggled and draged Abby away from the window before she continued, "Yeah, that's about the size of it. I think that's how Hollis is thinking. In her mind I'm the stepdaughter. _I'm_ the one she has to win over because I'm the one who doesn't _have_ to like her. She thinks I have the power to split them up. But, we both know that that's not true."

"Yeah," snorted Abby, trying not to choke on her Caff-Pow, "If you had that power I'd have blackmailed you into splitting them up ages ago. _I_ wasn't forced into promising that I wouldn't interfere."

She nodded in agreement to Abby's first statement while looking at hand tool set in the woodwork shop window, "I've been interfering in his love life since I was fourteen…it'd take more than a promise to make me stop. Besides, they won't last and I can be patient… Do you think I should get Jethro something like that for his birthday? I don't think he'd kill me for spending that much on him."

Abby looked down at the set before squinting so she could see the price, "Yeah, that seems okay." She sighed before adding, "My silver-haired fox is _so_ hard to buy for! There's this shop a couple of blocks over that engraves metal and wood and stuff – don't ask – you could get 'semper fi' on them."

The pair entered the shop, and quickly purchased the tools. Feeling very pleased with themselves, they picked up their earlier conversation as they continued with their shopping.

"There's also this thing about loyalty." Amanda continued as they threw their large Caff-Pows in the nearest trash can, "That's why she doesn't bother as much about you or anyone else...you weren't there through his ex-wives and you've never met any of his girlfriends. I did. So since I'm the daughter I must feel loyal towards one of his exes…the one I consider my 'Mom'." She made inverted commas with her fingers, causing Abby to laugh, "If I still feel loyal to 'Mom', it apparently jeopardises her relationship with 'Dad'. So she goes all evil stepmother on me and essentially ruins her own relationship…and then blames me for it failing. It won't last much longer."

"Give me a date and I'll throw a party," smirked Abby, "She is really messing with my plans to get Mommy and Daddy together. You sure it'll be soon?"

Amanda stopped suddenly and dragged Abby into the pet shop while informing her, "Bert needs a new collar. My treat. Abs, this is Stephanie all over again. I know exactly what he's doing, and I _think_ it'll work. You might not have to plot that much. Trust me. Lucy's latest hair colour will last longer."

* * *

**The Break-Up**

"Jethro, what was that?" asked Hollis quietly, trying to get Gibbs to look her in the eye. There was silence in the basement as she stared at Gibbs while he avoided her gaze. She was sick of it. Sick of the secrets...sick of the feeling that she was missing something...sick of feeing second best. And now that she knew something he wouldn't talk. She couldn't help shouting in frustration, "Jethro! What the hell was that?"

He finally looked at her, and she could see that his walls were up again. She was about to start shouting again to get some sort of reaction out of him when a voice suddenly floated through the open door, "Is there a _reason_ I just passed – " the slightly hysterical voice was accompanied by footsteps as someone ran across the room above them before Amanda skidded into the basement. When she saw the scene in front of her – Gibbs sitting on the stairs, an angry Hollis glaring up at her with hatred in her eyes – she trailed off, "Ste...phan...ie...I'm interrupting something. I'll just...go."

"No," said Hollis suddenly as Amanda turned to walk back out the door. She stormed over to the workbench and picked up the tape player, "you can tell me what the hell this is."

Amanda's eyes widened as she realised what Hollis was holding. "_Definitely_ interrupting something. I was just making sure Stephanie hadn't killed him or something and he was lying down here in a pool of blood. Ducky told me what happened and I was having flashbacks of Diane. I think I'm going to go see Abby." Amanda made another subtle movement for the door, but stopped at Hollis' voice.

"No, its fine," she cast a glance at Gibbs, and when she saw he wouldn't stop her and was looking at Amanda she made up her mind, "I was just leaving."

Amanda let out a humourless laugh and looked at Hollis, letting her see what she _really_ thought for the first time. As Amanda shook her head, Hollis finally understood why she didn't like the girl – she reminded her too much of Jenny. Her loyalty belonged to Jenny. She'd never have accepted her.

Hollis hated to admit that she was jealous of Jenny.

She knew Gibbs on levels that Hollis didn't know he _had._ She was beautiful and she had the brains to back it up. Out of the two of them, _she_ came first. Hollis couldn't compete with that.

Jenny had acted like she was waiting for something, and Hollis realised in that moment that _this_ was what she was waiting for. Amanda was the same, she was near the top on his list of priorities...she'd known it would end this way.

* * *

**After The Break-Up**

Amanda turned back from the workbench with two makeshift glasses of bourbon. Sighing, she walked over to the stairs where Gibbs had been sitting since she'd entered the basement. She sat on the step, smiling slightly when he shifted to make room for her on the step, and silently handed him the alcohol.

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, Gibbs staring at the glass in his hands. After a long moment, Amanda moved her eyes from the boat to the wall and whispered, "I know you're sick of this question, but you okay?"

"I thought you didn't like Hollis." Gibbs answered evasively before taking a gulp of bourbon. He knew exactly what Amanda meant by the first part of her question…this was the third time she'd asked it in this context. The question didn't bother him, but as the pervious conversations flashed through his mind he realised what did.

In every memory the three constants were always him, Amanda and his basement. But they were different in every one. There were sublte differences to the basement…things you only noticed when you compared the two memories. He was a little older and his feelings about the break-ups were never the same. But she changed the most in the time between them. Different styles, a little older, a little wiser. His little girl was growing up…and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Never moving her eyes from the wall, Amanda answered slowly, "I don't like her. But you do. I can't help that and as much as I hate seeing you with her…I hate seeing you hurt more."

"It was never going to work out anyway." Gibbs shrugged nochelantly, running the night and the case over in his head. He knew his relationship was doomed – he'd known _that_ from the beginning – but he hadn't seen it ending tonight. He _did_ care about her…but he didn't love her.

Hollis thought his heart still belonged to a dead woman, but that wasn't true.

Yes, Shannon did have a special place in his heart and he'd always love her in a way, but he'd moved on. Jenny had breezed into his life and left her mark. Even though she didn't feel the same anymore – sometimes he wasn't sure she ever had – his heart would always belong to her.

Shannon might have been the love of his life…but Jenny was his soulmate, his other half.

Shannon was his exact opposite, but they complimented each other perfectly. She was gentle and soft-spoken. She was the type of person who has the patience of a saint and never loses their cool. But that didn't mean that she couldn't handle herself or was incapable of controlling the situation. Gentle but firm. She'd tamed him and easily managed to put him in his place when the need arose…feats his father had deemed impossible.

But he and Jenny were exactly the same. It was probably half the reason they didn't work out, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. They were both driven by passion and burning tempers which very few people dared envoke. If you fight fire with fire, then all you get is a bigger fire…and that was exactly what they were. Uncontrollable…passionate…beautiful…dangerous.

Nothing and no one could compare to that. It was unfair to even let someone try.

It wasn't that he didn't care about his exes, he did. It was just…he didn't care as much as he should. And when their relationships ended, he normally cut his losses and moved on. And _that_ was why most of his exes hated him…that and his commitment to a child who wasn't even his by blood.

Shannon and Kelly. Jenny and Amanda. Past and present. He'd thought he'd never be able to love again after the first's death…and had been blown away when the second had waltzed into his life. They weren't replacements, though many people might have seen it as that, they were their own people and he loved them for who they were.

He'd gotten over losing Shannon. But he'd never get over losing Kelly. Every case involving a child reminded him of her. Every case where the child was dead sent him into a dark depression which could last long after the case was over. And even though she was the only one who could pull him out of that, sometimes even Amanda reminded him of Kelly.

After Kelly had died he'd never let himself get too close to a child. But Amanda had him wrapped around her little finger in no time. Their relationship had gradually evolved from that of adopted uncle/niece to father/daughter as she had grown up.

At first he'd felt guilty when he'd realised the change in dynamics – he'd taken from someone else what he had lost – but after a conversation with Ducky he realised that her biological parents' absence was the catalyst for the change. And the thought that someone would willing give all that up was unfeasable to him.

His girls were like chalk and cheese. Kelly was like Shannon and a typical bubbly child. She wanted to grow up to be a vet or a teacher and have kids. The fact that she'd never gotten that chance was still a like stake through the heart. Amanda was totally different. Her ubringing and unaviodable future had made her grow up quickly. She _was_ capable of being happy and bubbly, but there was a maze of walls you had to navigate first. _Lethal_ was never a word you could have applied to Kelly, but it fit Amanda perfectly.

Four women…and somehow he managed to fit them all into his heart. There wasn't room for anyone else, and he should have learned long ago that he shouldn't even try. All it did was hurt everyone involved.

"You do know I can _hear_ your brain working?" Amanda broke the silence in the basement and Gibbs' reverie. She wasn't exactly sure what he was thinking, but she knew the general direction of his thoughts – guilt because is heart already belonged to other women. He always went into a dark brooding mood after the break-ups and it was easier to stop them before they began.

Gibbs smirked, still amazed at how well she could read him. The only other woman who was capable of that was… Well, it didn't matter. They were over, and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

**Five weeks later**

_[A/N – takes place between Requiem and Designated Target. Amanda would have eaten him if she knew about the Jibbs conversation in Lost & Found!]_

"So…I heard you've been inundated with calls from your crazy ex. And it's not even a drunken ex-wife!" laughed Amada as she added the peppers to the pot in front of her. She sighed as she added, "God, I feel like I've missed so much."

She'd left Washington the day after Jethro and Hollis' argument and upon her return had been sent off on another operation. After five weeks of being Aimée Jones she was glad to be back in her own house and back into her normal routine - if you could call hectic and unpredictable _normal_. She loved her job, and if she was honest Aimee was her favourite alias, but she didn't like the fact that she was separated from her family for so long. It was part of the job and she dealt with it, but sometimes she wished their lives were a little simpler.

She'd been off the clock about thirty-six hours, and the only contact she'd had with her family was a five minute conversation with Ducky the previous evening before he'd been called out to a crime scene and a three day old email from Abby.

It was almost a record.

Normally, she'd phone Gibbs on Thursday nights. She wasn't sure how it had started, but now it was just part of her life. They didn't even really talk about anything – it's just what they did. Just like how she sent Jenny postcards when she was off on a long-term op or how she and Abby made an effort to meet up at least one weekend every couple of months. But, now she'd been out of the loop for over a month and was seriously behind.

For all she knew he could have gotten married again and started the divorce proceedings and she'd be none the wiser.

"Ducky tell you that? Or did you hack my phone records?" Gibbs tried to sound unimpressed, but Amanda could hear the amusement in his voice as he worked on his boat in the background.

"Actually, Abby emailed me them." She answered as she stirred the vegetables around the pot. She knew she could tell him – Abby got away with everything, "That and almost everything she would normally have told me while I was away. Is there _really_ a possibility that I'm _finally_ getting an Auntie from Ducky? Or was Abby just overreacting?"

"It's a possibility."

"Well as long as I'm not getting a blonde one from you it's all good." Amanda shook her head as she thought about it. This was what she really wanted to know, "I'm guessing she wants you back?"

"Its not gonna happen." Gibbs was silent for a moment causing Amanda to glance at the phone worriedly. He couldn't _actually_ be thinking about it... She was about to say something when he suddenly laughed disbelievingly, "Abby sent you my phone records?"

"Yes. Abby emailed me your phone records." She rolled her eyes as she spoke to him like he was a five year old. She was inwardly relieved that he wasn't giving the break-up too much thought. She didn't need him running off to Hawaii or something – Mexico and Moscow had been bad enough, "She wanted to know if I thought she was a psycho ex. I think it has something to do with a bet. I haven't replied yet."

"You thought I was thinking about taking her back." It was a statement, not a question. She silently cursed how he could read her voice so well. Jenny's tell was her eye, hers was her voice.

Amanda was glad she wasn't in the room with him; she was having trouble removing her eyes from the sizzling vegetables. She took a deep breath and shrugged, "Maybe."

"Amanda, how long have you known about Shannon and Kelly?" His voice was calm, confusing Amanda slightly. She knew he still missed his first wife and daughter and that he avoided talking about it...why was he bringing it up now? That question made no sense.

"Since I was twelve and I ran a background check on you in school." She'd had to do background checks on people she knew…it was to show them how much they _didn't_ know about people. When she'd found that file she didn't actually believe it was real. It was only after she'd phoned him later that she'd discovered the truth, "I knew before Abby or Ducky or Jenny or anyone. Not even your ex-wives knew. No, wait, Stephanie found out about two months after the divorce."

"Has it ever been a problem?"

"No. At first I was kinda pissed about the fact you tried to kill yourself, but it's not a _problem_." The confusion was clear in Amanda's voice, and there was a moment of silence before it clicked, "Oh, I get it. She made an issue out of your past and when it really isn't. You told me when I asked, and I left it at that. When your team found out they did the same. Hollis...not so much."

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**Not sure about the ending on the last one lol I tried out several but this one seemed best. And before you say anything...did I mention I hate Mibbs? **

**Oh, and the reason he introduced her to Amanda in the first place? She was on her way to become ex-wife number four…Amanda met all the ex-wives since she was basically his daughter.**

**So…who's everyone supporting in the World Cup? I'm not a huge football fan – I'm watching it for the players to be honest – but in typical Scottish fashion I'm supporting anyone who plays England =)**

**HeMines x**


	12. Trust Issues

**Well…this is up a day-ish later than I'd planned (how Sunday night turned into midnight on Monday I don't know) but oh wells. You know how most people update more during the summer? I am not most people. I have somehow ended up having **_**less**_** time to write. Not entirely sure how that one works out if I'm being honest, and I'm sure you don't want to hear my excuses (they're actually valid this time!) so I'll just get onto the chapter =D**

**Levana Fay, ****MatteaAM**** (your Jibbs is at the end!), ****j0k3****, ****DarkestAngel11****, ****Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs****, ****Huddly****, ****badprobiemcgee****, ****black widow mistress****– Thanks for the reviews! =D And thanks to Levana Fay for all your help with the Deep Six stuff, even having someone to give me a second opinion on things is a massive help! I'm gonna go with Melinda =D **

**Disclaimer … Nah, I don't own it =( But if I somehow come to acquire it in the near future you can expect the return of Jenny!**

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"I don't care." Hollis Mann sighed as she walked out onto her front porch. Still holding her cell to her ear, she crossed the decking and leant against the edge, her eyes roaming the horizon. She smiled slightly when she found what she was looking for. She _loved_ the fact that she could see the beach from her front porch. "I'm retired."

"You _know_ I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't desperate. Hol, you're the only person I trust with this." Her old colleague and friend's voice was pleading, a far cry from the authorative voice many people were used to. "You know how to handle sensitive cases like this. You're not afraid to butt heads and you _know_ the case because you worked it for months. Besides, you have a good relationship with NCIS –"

"You do realise that the team this case will be given to just _happens_ to include my ex? And you _know_ how it ended." Hollis cut across Tom, her real reason for refusing to come out of retirement finally becoming clear. She didn't feel as awkward bringing this up with him as she would with other people. He was a mixture of friend and brother – they known each other most of their careers, and had been through Hell and back together – and he had been the one she'd went to when her relationship with Jethro had ended. He'd been the one who'd gotten her through it.

It had been a few months, and she was still a little raw. She was mostly over Jethro, but that didn't mean she wanted to see him again. The ocean between them was one of the many bonuses of living in Hawaii. She didn't want to have to face him again (especially after some of her more _embarrassing_ reactions to their break-up) or watch him grieve over another woman. Especially not the woman who had been a catalyst to their demise. That would just rub salt into the wounds she would reopen by returning.

"Gibbs isn't there." Tom smugly answered, knowing he had her cornered. "He's working with European Anti-Terrorism until further notice."

"He wouldn't leave his team." Hollis' denial was quick and automatic. Apart from Amanda, his team were the closest thing he had to family. It was clear how much he cared for them. If he wouldn't leave them to come to Hawaii with her then there was no way he'd leave them to go to Europe. The only pull that Europe could have for him was Amanda. And after losing Jenny, she could see the logic behind his decision… She stopped that line of thought there as her thoughts became a snarl. She didn't want to think about _her_.

_She_ had been one of the biggest problems in her relationship with Jethro. _She_ was part of the reason they hadn't worked out. Even now, on the rare occasions that she was reminded of Amanda, Hollis had to reign in her temper.

"He didn't have a choice." Tom's voice pulled Hollis back into the present, smothering her anger as confusion took its place. That didn't make sense, although Jethro _was_ one of NCIS' best agents. "Vance's reaction when we approached him with the investigation was that his MCRT was in high demand this week. Gibbs, Dr. Mallard, and Abby Scuitto were all sent to European Anti-Terrorism by SecNav and are there until further notice. You'd be working with DiNozzo. NCIS takes the lead and gets the body, we'll handle the forensics."

Hollis was silent for a moment as she tried to take it all in. This was not how she had expected her day to go when she had woken up this morning. However, she couldn't help but feel pulled in by the case. She'd loved her job, but it was time to move on. She was enjoying retirement, but she missed the rush she got when she closed a case. And this was one of the few cases she couldn't close. With NCIS, the new developments in the case and this new Intel, maybe she could finally put the case to rest.

"You're sure I'll be gone before Jethro gets back?" She finally answered, turning back into the house to pack. She wasn't sure if she was making the right choice, but she was going with it anyway.

"I've seen this new Intel, Hol. If we'd had this when you we on the case it would be closed already. I know how you work, and if Gibbs' team is half as good as SecDef thinks they are, you'll be out of there by the end of the month."

_**JIBBS**_

"_You_ are early." Ziva stopped in front of her desk, pausing in dropping her backpack to the floor. She arched an eyebrow in McGee's direction, noting that he looked like he had been in his current position a while.

"So are you." McGee answered without missing a beat, never taking his eyes from his computer screen. He was slightly reluctant to admit to the Ziva, who was always the first to arrive, that he had been in the Navy Yard for a little over two hours. Especially when said Israeli had arrived at least an hour before her usual time.

Gibbs, Ducky and Abby had disappeared – it didn't matter that SecNav had approved it – and it had spooked them. And they weren't ready to admit it.

Finally looking up, McGee jumped when he realised that Ziva had silently crossed the bullpen and was now leaning against his desk. He saw the determination in her eyes, though she tried to hide it with her casual stance. He sighed, knowing that just admitting his reason now would be a lot less painful than an interrogation by Ziva. "I couldn't sleep."

"So you came into work to –" she moved around the desk and leaned over McGee's shoulder. A quick glance over the screen showed what he had been doing, and when she continued there was barely concealed laughter in her voice. "Oh _McGee_. You can't sleep so you come into work to do _paperwork? _I thought you had a book to write."

"I have another two months before I submit the outline of the next book to my publisher. So I have about a month and a half to come up with an idea." He groaned, fully aware of the warning glare he was receiving from Ziva. She did not want the relationship between Tommy and Lisa to develop any more than it already had…she had no idea which outcome of their stalemate would hurt more. "So far all I have Tibbs at Joanne's grave. Every major plot I come up with is just…" he trailed off, the unsaid words conveying more than anything said aloud could.

The last book had been a lot more about the characters than the plot, which she understood and was slightly grateful for.

While the overall story had been fictitious, _Point Blank_ had been personal. The loss of Joanne had been sudden and painful – much like their loss of Jenny. There had been two purposes to the ending; to get the truth out there and as a way of saying goodbye. The latter had been a failure. The pain was just as raw as it had been to begin with. There was no closure. The previous had been slightly more successful. The people who were out to get Tibbs had had Joanne followed. She'd been alone in a cabin in the mountains when they'd made their move. She had taken out all her attackers, but succumbed to her injuries. It was easily they hardest thing he'd ever had to write.

He hadn't started any conspiracy theories or made the circumstances surrounding her death public. Reviews said that after the initial shock had worn off, he had given the Director of NCIS a fitting send off…she went down in a blaze of fire. The Tibbs and Joanne fans…well they still hadn't forgiven him.

There was silence in the bullpen while they were occupied by their thoughts. Moments like these proved that, no matter what they said, they were still reeling from their "Mother's" death. It was McGee who finally broke the silence. He whispered, "I didn't want to end _Point Blank_ like that. There's an alternate ending sitting in my apartment where she survived. Tibbs went after her. She still got hurt…but she lived. It was so tempting to submit that instead."

Ziva slowly reached out and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew that there were no words that could make him feel any better. And if there were…she hadn't found them yet.

She sighed, internally kicking herself. There was no satisfaction in the knowledge that she might not have to work very hard to make McGee see things their way, only a grim irony. This had all seemed so easy when she was alone. Taking a deep breath, she said, "You could not sleep because you were worried." It was a statement. Fact. She had known that when she spotted him at his desk. "Why?"

"I –" McGee suddenly stood up and pushed away from his desk. Ziva stared at him unwaveringly as he made his way around his desk and started pacing in the space between his and Gibbs' desks. He paced for a few minutes before he declared, "I trust Abby."

"You sound like you are trying to convince yourself just as much as you are trying to convince me." Ziva answered evenly, watching McGee carefully. He was clearly frustrated and worried, but there was also a lot of uncertainty and doubt there too. That was a surprise. She, and almost every other person in the building, could see the chemistry between the two. Normally, McGee would have stuck with Abby's judgement until the end.

"We both know that Abby can be a bit too trusting at times." There was a hint of anger in McGee's voice now, and Ziva felt herself tense as well. Abby's stalker ex was still touched a nerve with the team. Ziva also heard the sadness in his voice – hurt that she hadn't trusted him. He stopped his pacing and ran a hand through his hair. He turned to Ziva, his eyes pleading her to put him out of his misery in some way. There was a note of desperation in his voice when he continued, "_I trust Abby_. And I love that she can see the best in everyone. But something doesn't feel right. We're missing something and Abby knows what it is. I don't want her to end up hurt because she thinks she can change it."

_**JIBBS**_

"This isn't everything you'll need to know, but it's everything you'll need to know to play your part." SecNav was completely business-like as he handed Abby a manila case file. To begin with, Abby had been slightly surprised by the size of the private jet they were currently flying in, but the realisation that SecNav probably hadn't set foot on a military aircraft in years had quickly cleared up any questions about their luxury.

Abby looked at him curiously, understanding his words immediately. Her phone call to Amanda was still fresh in her mind, colouring her judgement. Amanda had seemed convinced that SecNav would fill her in, and that she wouldn't like what she heard. She carefully opened the file, and was unsurprised to see a picture of Amanda staring back at her. Resolving to read through the finer details later, she flicked through the pages. Ducky…Gibbs…Josh…Mrs. Mallard…a motherly looking woman…a young blonde woman…her…

Abby stopped when she came to the last profile. Instead of a picture, there was the outline of a woman. It was the same picture used when news programmes hide the identity of someone, or if they don't know who they are looking for. She looked up at SecNav, her eyebrows knotted together as she asked, "Who is J Simmons?" She placed the folder on the table between them and turned the page around so that it was facing away from her.

SecNav studied Abby carefully as he leant back in his chair. He showed no surprised at her question and calmly replied, "The package."

"She's the package." Abby repeated disbelievingly, McGee's earlier panic springing to the forefront of her mind. She had promised she wouldn't go in blind, she had promised she'd stay safe. She felt her temper begin to spark. The Secretary of the Navy had the nerve to send people in blind. She wasn't even an agent! "She's the person I'm supposed to help move, and I don't have a clue what she looks like!"

SecNav seemed untroubled by her outburst, a fact that just fuelled Abby's irritation. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from interrupting his infuriatingly calm voice and giving him a piece of her mind. SecNav had anticipated this reaction, so he continued calmly, "When we land, you will use the passport for Abby Simmons. We will be picked up at the airport by MI5 operatives who will take us to a hotel that Agent Mallard has already organised. The package is being guarded by Agents Mallard and Taylor in a hospital a few miles from the hotel. We find out when the visiting hours are, and then we make our way to the hospital. Agent Mallard will fill you in there."

"And you won't tell me anything. Why?" Abby's voice was hard and demanding. SecNav could see immediately where she had picked it up from, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. He knew Miss Scuitto was good at her job, and he respected her for that. But he had expected a lab rat, someone who couldn't really look after themselves. He hadn't expected her to be so…Gibbs-like.

He thought about his answer for a moment, and allowed himself a chuckle when he realised it. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

SecNav sighed, and turned the file back around to face Abby. "This file is to do with the cover story. Agent Mallard will give you the case file when you see her."

He pointed at the silhouette, "J Simmons is your mother. She has just beaten a life-threatening illness. She is CEO of a large American Law firm that works closely with the Military. And no, it's not JAG."

He flipped back to Abby's photo without breaking eye contact. "You are her eldest daughter. You didn't stay with her because you couldn't bear the thought that she was dying."

He flipped to the nurses. "Gillian Thomas and Haley Evans. They _are_ just nurses, their only link to MI5 and MI6 is that they work at one of their approved hospitals. Excluding Agent Taylor, they are the medical personnel who have the most contact with your mother."

He flipped to Mrs. Mallard. "Victoria Tibbs, your maternal grandmother. You were on holiday with her when you got the news. You left her in the hotel and got on a plane."

Next Josh was staring up at them. "Dr. Josh _McGregor_, your mother's doctor. He has no relationship with Agent Mallard other than Doctor-Patient. It stays that way inside the hospital. What they do outside is none of my business."

SecNav's tone betrayed his true feelings at this set-up. While he believed that relationships between colleagues could work, he knew it was normally best to keep those two lives separate. He knew that he couldn't count on anything when dealing with spies, but he did think that he should have been informed of _that_ particular detail. If not by Agent Mallard, then at least Doctor Mallard or MI6's Director could have informed him. If MI6's regulations were anything like the Navy's, they would have informed their superiors of the relationship.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do about it now, he internally sighed and moved onto the next profile.

_Flip_. A picture of Gibbs from his Marine days. "Gunnery Sergeant Jethro Simmons. Your father." Abby's eyes flashed dangerously, but she remained silent. When Gibbs was 'Dad', 'Mom' would _always_ be Jenny. "He was released from duty early since I know about your mother's situation. You haven't seen him in over a year."

Ducky was the next in line. "Dr. Donald Simmons, your father's brother. He's been holding down the fort back home, making sure that you and your grandmother stayed sane."

Finally, it was Amanda's face staring up that them. SecNav and Abby were yet to break eye contact, and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. "Amanda Simmons, your little sister. She stayed and dealt with your mother. She works for the same law firm that your mother was CEO of, but in reality it was an excuse to get her out of the hospital and into MI6 headquarters."

After SecNav had finished, Abby still remained silent and glaring. Recognising defeat, he sighed and sat back in his chair. "You're right, I won't tell you. Everything you _need to know_ is in that file. It's better if you hear this from Amanda. Trust me. This is her operation, I agreed to _her_ plan. I have no control over what she does or how this turns out."

_**JIBBS**_

"Ziva, how do you expect us to remember a detail like that?" Tony asked in disbelief. He was leaning against his desk and looking at Ziva like she'd grown another head. Ziva just stood impassively in front of the plasma, clicker in hand. "We're not all trained by Mossad."

"But you both were trained by Gibbs." She answered without missing a beat. She looked away from the freeze frame of Amanda entering the building and locked eyes with both men. "I'm not asking for a definite answer, I am asking you to _think_ about it. Was she wearing a necklace or not, and if so, what did it look like?"

McGee sighed, closed his eyes and tried to recall Amanda entering the squad room. He'd tried to use this technique before during a case and it didn't work, but he'd rather try than face Ziva's wrath.

_He was sitting at his computer doing paperwork…he was surprised that Tony was actually working instead of tormenting him…he heard the elevator ding and glanced up reflexively but when he didn't see Gibbs he returned to the paperwork._ Scrunching his eyes together, he tried to remember exactly what he'd seen when he'd glanced up. _A scared looking Probie had stepped out of the elevator…Smith from Legal had got in with a stack of case files…_

His eyes snapped open as the vague memory became clear. "When she stepped out of the elevator she was playing with something around her neck. The gesture suggested she was either nervous or preoccupied, but everything else about her screamed confidence."

Ziva nodded and turned back to the plasma, seemingly satisfied. Tony opened his mouth to ask the question that was on both his and McGee's minds, but Ziva beat him to the punch. "I asked, because when we were in Cairo, Jenny –" she stumbled over the name slightly, feeling strange using it aloud and in the past tense. Thankful that neither of the men remarked, she continued, "Jenny broke protocol. She sent infrequent postcards to her home in London addressed to an M Sheppard. The first was sent in an envelope and contained a necklace with a sapphire in the shape of a heart. She said there was someone who had to know she was still alive."

"That's…" Tony trailed off in disbelief. He knew that Jenny wasn't afraid to disregard the rules if she had to – she'd been trained by Gibbs so there wasn't really any other option. Apparently the reason she didn't get on with Director of the FBI was that he remembered the havoc she'd caused while she was still an agent. But still…taking risks like than in a high-risk undercover operation took guts.

He felt his jaw drop and his breath rush out of him as a second realisation hit home. He saw Ziva's discrete nod, and knew that she had already come to that conclusion. Their conversation in Autopsy reverberated through his mind. _She died alone…We are all alone…I just mean that she never got married, never had any children, never even heard her talk about it..._

She _did_ have something to live for…someone to come back to. Abby's explanation was starting to make more and more sense, but that didn't make the uneasy feeling in his gut go away. He shook his head violently to dispel this new development. This was already personal enough without that hanging over his head. Pushing it to the side for the moment, and making plans to go to Jenny's grave and apologise when this was all over, she asked, "So what do we do now?"

McGee exchanged a quick glance with Ziva before hesitantly answering, "Ziva's running a background check on Amanda just now. I can try and trace their cells, dig a bit deeper into why we never found out about her, see if I can find out what this mission they've been assigned is." They didn't quite believe that Gibbs, Ducky and Abby had been assigned to European Anti-Terrorism in a spur of the moment decision. And if Vance's mood when he told them was anything to go by, he didn't either.

"If Abby's story is true," Ziva looked grim as she contemplated her next move. This was when Jenny would come back from the dead with the sole intention of haunting her. "There should be some trace of her at Gibbs' house."

"No…" Tony's answer was instant. When he saw no crack in Ziva's resolve, he sighed in resignation and ran a hand through his hair. "We are so dead when Gibbs finds out."

_**JIBBS**_

Gillian hummed quietly as she walked through the corridors. For some reason, she was in a really good mood today. She stopped outside the window into Jenny Simmon's room, and she felt her smile turn into a grin. Happy ending were so rare in her line of work, but it seemed like they'd gotten one this time.

Jenny and her husband…Jethro? She made a mental note to double check that, were sitting on the couch talking intently. Jenny was sitting side on with her feet resting in Jethro's lap, while he was turned to face her. You could just feel the chemistry between them, and you could _see_ how much they cared for each other. Gillian was beginning to believe that Amanda was telling the truth when she said that her father wouldn't have been able to handle sitting by Jenny's beside as treatment after treatment failed.

That knowledge made her feel so much better that she'd had good news for the marine when he came home. Jenny should be able to leave in a few weeks at most. They'd be back to normality in no time.

As Gillian turned away from the window, Jenny laughed.

"You didn't!" Jenny tried to control her laughter as she looked at her lover in disbelief. She couldn't believe the lengths he'd gone to when upsetting the sister agencies in her absence. It seemed like whenever one of them was missing it seemed to have a detrimental effect on interagency relations – when he had left, she'd became much less accommodating towards other agencies…when she was 'dead', nothing seemed to be off limits. "No, I know you. Of course you did. _That_ is one thing that needs to change when I come back."

"I think I can handle that." Gibbs chuckled, knowing that her absence had partially contributed to his actions. Besides, if she was too busy sorting out his messes, she'd never be home and when she was she'd be pissed.

"You know…it feels so weird to finally be leaving here. Normality seems like such an abstract concept right now." Gibbs could hear the genuine shock in Jenny's voice, and he tried not to think about the fact that she didn't see herself leaving the hospital.

Deciding that she was too far away, he pulled her towards him. Jenny smiled when she found herself straddling Gibbs and leaned down to kiss him. Too soon, she pulled away and repositioned herself on his lap. Apart from the obvious fact they were in a hospital and anyone could walk in, they were supposed to be a couple who had been together for over twenty years…they should be able to show _some_ restraint.

As she laid her head against his shoulder and snuggled into him, she felt Gibbs' strong arms wind around her waist. She grinned into his neck and placed a chaste kiss just over his pulse point. She could definitely get used to this.

"What are you grinning about?" Gibbs whispered huskily into her ear, causing Jenny to giggle quietly.

"I'm imagining the looks of horror on the faces of about half the men on the Hill when they realise that not only am I back from the dead, I'm taken." She laughed, slightly surprised when Jethro joined in.

"I can handle that as well. The fact you're staying with me should make them realise that there's already someone in your bed…and if not, well, there's always the direct approach." It had already been wordlessly agreed that she would be moving in with him when they got back to DC. Neither of them wanted her anywhere else.

He grinned at the thought. A week ago the grief had been crushing him. He had been struggling to keep his head above the water. He could put on the act and make most people believe that he was okay, but in reality he was a mess. He was surviving…but only just. Now, that seemed like a distant memory...a horrible nightmare that he never wanted to revisit. He couldn't forget about what had happened, but they'd been given another chance and they weren't going to screw it up this time.

Smiling, he leaned forward and claimed Jenny's lips. He knew they should probably be a little more careful, but he doubted any of the nursing staff had seen a marine home on leave before. And if they had…well, they'd know to stay away. Gunnery Sergeant Simmons hadn't seen his wife for eighteen months, but Special Agent Gibbs had thought Jenny was dead for eight. There would be some similarities in their reactions.

When they broke apart for air, Gibbs dropped his head to Jenny's ear. While his hand dropped dangerously lower, he growled, "_Mine_."

Jenny grinned at his declaration. For some reason, that one word meant just as much as the three she had heard earlier. A lot of women didn't like possessiveness in their boyfriends, but she loved it. Jealously and possessiveness looked so good on Jethro, but he didn't take it to the point where it stopped making her feel wanted and became overbearing. And anyway, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't just as bad. Pulling his lips back to hers she returned the sentiment, "_Mine_."

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**So how's everyone's summer going? Mine's been kinda mixed, but I'm enjoying it!**

**Review...you know you want to =D**

**HesMines x**


	13. Breaking and Entering

**Sorry! I know I took forever and a day to get this up and that I basically fell of the face of the earth for a while (if I normally review your stories then you'd have noticed that I've been pretty much non-existent.) This chapter was meant to be up about a week or so after the last one...but my laptop crashed before I could finish the chapter. And has died twice since then (regardless of the fact it's been 'fixed')...so I'm looking for a new one and I'm sort of moving between using my dad and my sister's laptops right now. Everything is taking sooo much longer that it normally would have (I'm now trying to fit in a dissertation, essays, fanfic and all my other computing needs around their stuff...it's not good). So, yeah, enough of my moping and onto the chapter. **

**Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs****, ****MatteaAM**** (feel free to complain lol I am!), ****Colebaby****, ****Levana Fay****, ****YourFavoriteLabPartnerEver****, ****Tony and Ziva forever****, ****Tempe4Booth****, ****Nicky Reid****, ****Abby Daughter of Athena****. Thanks for the reviews! Sorry if I've not replied to your review, I normally do but the site won't let me =( And thanks to Huddly - I loved your basement idea so I worked it in :) **

**Originally this was meant to be longer, but I've decided to split it into two so that it's not too long and that something actually gets posted after two and a bit months!**

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"Think we're over-reacting?" Tony asked as he pulled up outside Gibbs' house. He turned the ignition off, but didn't make any move to look at Ziva or get out of the car. Now that they were here, their plan of breaking into Gibbs' house while McGee stayed at the Navy Yard to cover for them was beginning to look more like a suicide mission than a good idea.

"I _know_ we are." Ziva's accented voice seemed to soothe Tony just as much as her words did. He instantly felt some of the tension leave his body and the electricity that he always sensed between them seemed to spark. She turned her head slightly to look at him with an understanding smile. "You don't have to do this Tony. I can go in alone."

There was a moment of silence and Ziva fleetingly thought that he would take her up on her offer, but he unclipped his seatbelt and answered, "I just wanted to know if I was the only one thinking it."

As he walked towards the door, he didn't look back...he didn't need to. He knew she was right behind him and he knew she would be thrown by his actions yet wouldn't question them. This was how they were. They knew each other inside out, but neither was willing to stake a claim. There was too much at risk, and there was no way he would make a move just because the boss was away. Before Jenny's death he'd thought about candlelight dinners in restaurants and cosy nights in spent _not_ watching the film. At first those daydreams had shocked him...he couldn't be falling for Ziva. But he was. And after Jenny's death...well, it was never a good idea to try and start a relationship when one person was dealing with grief, let alone both of them.

But there was another reason he hadn't acted on those feelings. Rule twelve was there for a reason. Gibbs and Jenny were a prime example of how workplace relationship could go south in the blink of an eye. He wasn't sure if he could handle losing her as a friend. Not only would it tear him apart, it would completely destroy the dynamics of the team. It would screw up their family.

Hell, he didn't even know if she felt the same way! He wouldn't act on those feelings. Not until he knew what they were. So he'd keep walking forward, safe in the knowledge that she would still be there.

_**JIBBS**_

"It's locked." Ziva muttered disbelievingly, turning to look at Tony, her eyes wide with shock. While it seemed logical that someone would lock their doors when going out of the country for a few weeks, it wasn't Gibbs.

Tony sighed and turned around on the porch. He scanned the area for a moment before walking towards the mound of earth below the window. "Gibbs keeps his spare key –" He stopped mid-sentence when he heard the door click open behind him. He slowly turned around to see Ziva standing in the open doorway, smiling at him triumphantly. Shaking his head slightly as he walked towards her, he muttered, "Who needs a spare key when you have a Mossad assassin?"

Once they were inside, the pair looked around uncertainly, knowing that they were intruding on their Boss' privacy…something that he had valued more and more since Jenny's death.

"Erm, how about we take it floor by floor, room by room?" Tony finally broke the silence, glancing at Ziva. When she nodded mutely and made her way towards the kitchen, he looked around the deserted hallway and muttered, "Might as well start somewhere."

"_What are you doing?" _

_Gibbs stood in the kitchen doorway, watching Amanda in amusement. She was standing in front of the stove in black pyjama bottoms and a red top that declared she was 'naughty but nice' while eyeing the various pots carefully._

_Without missing a beat she answered, "Cooking." and began to stir one of the pots which contained a red sauce._

"_It's four in the morning." Gibbs pushed away from the doorway and walked carefully into the kitchen. Although he tried to sound strict and disapproving, the laughter in his voice and the amusement in his eyes gave him away immediately._

_Amanda threw a glance over her shoulder, raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow and smirked at him. "And?"_

"Does something feel off to you?" Tony stood in the middle of the kitchen, as Ziva walked around and looked through the cupboards. "This looks too…"

"Used." Ziva finished his sentence as she opened a door and found herself facing an almost fully stocked cupboard. "Considering that we both know Gibbs mainly lives off take-out, you would expect his kitchen to be relatively unused." She closed the door and turned back around to face Tony. "Parts of this kitchen are used more than others, but the appliances and ingredients are all within date or well used. There are even simple foods that he could just place in the oven or microwave. Before I would have said that it Abby or Ducky making sure that he ate…but now I am not so sure."

The two agents shared a glance, neither willing to admit that Gibbs _and_ Jenny had been keeping even more secrets from the team. And Ducky...well, trying to get their heads around _his_ deceit was nearly impossible.

_**JIBBS**_

"Okay, this room definitely has had a woman's touch."

"You got all that from walking into the room?" Ziva laughed before stepping around Tony and into the living room. She ignored the look of fake indigence that she knew DiNozzo was aiming at her back and slowly walked around the room. She studied the room with a well-trained eye and realised that he _was_ actually right. While the hallway was relatively bare and hadn't changed much in the time they'd known Gibbs, _this_ room had changed since the last time they had been in it.

There was a distinct 'Jenny' feel to the room. It was like she had claimed the area from beyond the grave. The Israeli smiled sadly, that thought was comforting and disturbing at the same time.

"When was the last time any of us were in here?" Tony's whispered words broke through Ziva's reverie and she tensed slightly. She knew the answer. Far too long. He looked towards the window and continued somewhat guiltily, "Excluding Abby and Ducky, I think the most we've done is walk through the front door and go straight to the basement. We should've been there for him."

"He didn't _want_ us there Tony." Ziva didn't look up from the sofa. She was feeling the same guilt that Tony was feeling, but she knew that Gibbs would not have wanted witnesses to his grief. They should have been there for him more, but they were trying to cope themselves. It was a vicious circle that she knew all too well – her first experience of it had been with her mother and she knew that, as must as she wished she was wrong, Jenny wouldn't be the last person she lost.

"That shouldn't have mattered."

"Tony ..." Ziva wasn't sure how she was going to finish that sentence, but the sight of something by the window stopped her in her tracks. Sitting on the window was a crystal rose, glinting slightly in the morning sun. She slowly advanced on the familiar item, while trying to place it. This feeling was beginning to annoy her – she didn't like feeling vulnerable or helpless, and that was _exactly_ what not knowing what was happening was doing to her.

"That was Jenny's." Tony whispered in awe, the gesture meaning more to him than any other aspect of Gibbs' erratic behaviour had. For a man who communicated with actions, putting something that represented his deceased love on display was monumental. While most people would just see a crystal rose, he saw Gibbs' feelings for Jenny.

This realisation sparked something in him, and he backed away from the window as if he had been electrocuted. He did a quick inventory of the room and suddenly felt like he was invading on something private…well, more than he already was. "Actually, a lot of this stuff was Jenny's. Did we really expect him to just burn down her house and everything inside it?"

"She had a lot of stuff in storage…she was a little paranoid." Ziva slowly turned away from the rose, feeling a slight pang in her chest as she lost the fleeting connection to her friend.

"She had every right to be." Tony whispered. That didn't sit too well with him. He knew that Jenny and Gibbs had both taken on various missions that could come back to haunt them – both as partners and individually – but putting things into storage made the threat seem much more of a _when_ than an _if_.

Did she have a back-up plan that didn't involve dying? He hoped so.

Ziva sighed, seeing Tony's reluctance to stay in the room. She placed a comforting hand on his arm, reminding him wordlessly of her earlier promise, and asked, "Basement?"

_**JIBBS**_

_Jenny stood quietly at the top of the basement stairs, a container covered in tin foil in her hands. She didn't try to contain her grin as she watched the two most important people in her life work on Jethro's boat. Thirteen year old Amanda, who had come home from the hairdressers and nearly given Gibbs a heart attack with her new platinum blonde locks, was sitting inside the skeleton of the boat talking animatedly to him about something she had learned at school while Gibbs sanded the hull. While it didn't seem like it, Jenny knew that Amanda had his undivided attention. And so did the aforementioned girl. She had Jethro wrapped around her little finger and she knew it._

_Deciding that she was tired of sitting on the sidelines, Jenny started to walk down the stairs and laughed, "How did I know I'd find you both down here?"_

_While Amanda bit back a laugh, Gibbs merely put down the sander and offered Jenny his signature smirk. Ignoring the butterflies that still liked to make an appearance whenever he looked at her like that, she continued, "You know, one day I'll have to call child services. All this dust can't be good for her." _

_Ignoring Jenny's remark, Gibbs watched her as she placed the plate on his workbench. Once the plate was out of her hands, Gibbs grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards him. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and she flashed his smirk back at him. "Naomi insisted that I bring some of her paella."_

"_Still doesn't trust me with a kid, huh?" Gibbs laughed before leaning down to give Jenny a quick kiss. After he pulled back he retrieved the sander and resumed working on the boat. Smiling slightly, Jenny leaned against the workbench and admired the view. She ignored the flash of some unknown emotion that she saw in his eyes before he'd kissed her. She wasn't sure __**what**__ it was, but it never stayed very long or seemed to be a problem._

_They all knew by now that the teasing over his 'inability' to care for a teenage girl was nothing more than a joke. He'd been a part of her life since she was five. If he hadn't had any idea with kids before, well, he definitely had some now. _

_Whatever she'd noticed was a momentarily thing – it could have been the dust for all she knew – she wouldn't ask him about anything if she wasn't even sure __**what**__ she'd saw. Besides, they had other things to worry about...like the European mission that Morrow had assigned them that morning._

"How the hell does he get them out of here?" Tony peeked over the hull of Gibbs' latest, unnamed ship. "I mean, he got the _Kelly_ out…but where'd she go?"

"I'm sure he has his ways, Tony." Ziva smiled mysteriously at him. She had a pretty good idea of how he got the vessels out, but she wasn't going to share that hunch with him. She also knew that the ship was currently sitting on a beach in Mexico...but that was another story.

She tilted her head to the side as her eyes came to rest on the workbench. It was the only part of the room they hadn't checked, and she had a feeling that this was where they'd begin to find answers. Crouching down in front of the drawers, she began to pull them open. The first two opened easily and she found nothing but odds and ends. Things that you would expect to find in a basement. Her lingering smile at Tony's antics had turned into a frown by the time she reached the bottom, slightly larger drawer. Her instincts couldn't be that off, surely?

Pulling slightly, Ziva's eyes lit up when the drawer didn't budge. _This_ was what they had been searching for. She looked over her shoulder to see Tony standing in front of the boat, a look of anticipation on his face.

The drawer slid open with a soft click, further proof that there was no lock that was capable of keeping Ziva out. Her eyebrows knotted in confusion as she took in the contents of the drawer. Carefully, she took the drawer off its runners and placed it on top of the workbench.

"Somehow, that's not what I expected." Tony was beside Ziva now, looking over her shoulder into the drawer. He'd felt the same anticipation as Ziva had when looking at the workbench, but when they saw the drawer's contents it was a bit of an anti-climax. Staring up at them was a manila case file, and they could see another below it.

**[Insert DUN]**

Tony picked the top file off the pile and opened it at a random page. When he saw the Autopsy picture of Rene Benoit, realisation hit him and he grabbed the next file. He was unsurprised when he saw that under the next file there was a photo album, various loose pictures and a few envelopes. Before he could think about what he was doing, he opened this case file at the front page. If it was what he thought it was, opening it at a random page would be a bad idea. He quickly read through the page before sighing and placing both manila folders next to the drawer.

"Looks like the Boss was torturing himself." Tony said, trying to keep his voice steady, "Those are the case files for La Grenuoille and Jenny's murders." He sighed, though he knew that it was futile, he'd hoped that Gibbs wouldn't have been able to get his hands on those files.

Slowly, Ziva reached out to pick up the photo album. She had the same reservations as Tony did when it came to Gibbs and those files, but she knew their hoping was pointless. He was Gibbs. He would get his hands on them somehow. And now that he had seen them, there was no taking back what he had read.

Flipping open book, Ziva saw a handwritten note in the top corner of the white page. _Okay, I __know__ you'll be kinda confused when you find this…but the mess was really beginning to bug me. And seriously, __would__ you have let me do this if you knew? Actually…don't answer that. Just look at the pictures (do you know how long it took me to get these in the right order?) Ax_

"Looks like we found Amanda." She muttered before putting the book on top of the case files and turned to the next page.

The first picture surprised her. It was an old picture of Gibbs with little girl with red hair. She couldn't have more than a few months old. In the same handwriting as before, beside the picture it read _Jethro and Kelly (aged 4 months). _The next few pictures followed the same pattern, with pictures of Gibbs, Kelly, Shannon and various others spanning roughly eight years. There were only about twenty five photos and, logically, Ziva and Tony knew there had to be more photos than that. And it seemed that the author acknowledged that. Next to the last photo and under the caption were the words _I know the others are stashed somewhere, but I guessed you only kept the important ones in the drawer._

"He looks so happy." Tony's voice sounded too loud in the empty basement. The smiling man in the pictures was a million miles away from the gruff special agent he'd met when he was a smart ass homicide cop in Baltimore, and even further from the grieving man they'd been faced with for the last eight months. The closest they'd ever been to seeing Gibbs that happy was in those rare moments he'd shared with Jenny when they thought no one was looking. They were both clearly happy, sharing some joke or memory...but their past was obviously tainting their present.

Ziva kept quiet, unable to find anything to say to that. Her mind was following the same path as Tony's was, their emotions perfectly in sync. This was both familiar and foreign territory at the same time. She quickly flipped the page and her brow knitted in confusion.

There were empty slots, like there were pictures missing. There should have been six across the two pages, but there were only four. One was of Gibbs and Jenny at some sort of benefit...the other three were of Gibbs' weddings. The third slot had the words _Jenny and Jethro_ next to it with space for the date left to be written in. Amanda had clearly expected Jenny to be wife number 4.

Ziva flicked through the next few pages. This set seemed to document Gibbs' life after his family's death. One picture showed Amanda with Gibbs and Ducky at a zoo...another showed Gibbs on a beach with Mike Franks...Gibbs' pre-Paris team at the Christmas Party...Gibbs and Jenny, alone and with Amanda...Amanda's sixteenth birthday...Gibbs and Abby...Gibbs and the team when Kate was alive...the team as it was now...Amanda, Gibbs and Ducky in harnesses on top of a cliff... The book went on, and as it did Tony and Ziva began to feel their stomachs sink. There _had_ been a secret kept. The girl _had_ been hidden from them for years.

Now the only question was, _why_?

* * *

**Soo...what do you think?**

**Feel free to address any complaints to "Jumpy" (this is what my laptop is now referred to as) who lost everything and made me start from scratch. ****Next chapter...or the rest of this one, however you want to view it...will be up soonish. I'm about halfway through re-writing it =)**

**HesMines xx**


	14. A Turning Point

**Sorry! Once again, I find myself posting a chapter long after I planned. Personally, I think it's pretty pathetic that I haven't got it up before now, but that's just me. If anyone cares, I've been writing my AH Modern Studies Dissertation, my personal statement, creating a presentation on crime and other homework instead of writing this. Then my laptop decided to crash and I had to wait patiently for the part of the chapter I had written (the bit in the squadroom) to come back – there has been a gap in this 'finished' version for about two weeks How sad? **

**This chapter took a bit of a U-turn from where I wanted it to go, but hey ho this was what worked out. I think that's all I need to say...oh yeah, Amanda isn't actually as depressed as the flashback about the letter and stuff make out. Amanda is coping fine where the team isn't. The flashbacks are exactly that, the past. She **_**isn't**_** breaking down all over the place. That only happened in the time between Jenny getting shot and Jenny waking up after the shooting. Her only problem was the guilt she was feeling towards keeping Gibbs in the dark, but she's over it now. She's actually a pretty cheerful person! Erm…the Frog bit is a flashback and isn't in chronological order. It's snippets of the meeting flashing through his mind. One thought leads to another and so on. Just so no one gets confused lol**

**Disclaimer – nope *shakes head***

* * *

René waited by the bar, ready to make his escape. All he needed was a clear opening somewhere that wouldn't draw too much attention to his departure. He blended in perfectly – with his immaculate suit and his superior air, he was almost invisible amongst the politicians, entrepreneurs and everyone else at this benefit. They were all crooks in their own way, so he supposed he fit in more than usual. Once upon a time, he would have been one of the guests at this benefit…oh how the days had changed.

_I used to rule the world. Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to own… I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes… Revolutionaries wait for my head on a silver plate. Just a puppet on a lonely string. Oh who would ever want to be king?_

He didn't know who said those words, but they were extremely fitting. His mind instantly went to his daughter. His girl knew everything.

Except the truth about the man she was in love with…except the truth about her father.

Jeanne would know where those words came from. She could tell him who was responsible for them, when they had written or said those words, what their meaning was. Not in a context relating to him, of course. Hopefully she wouldn't find out the truth until he was dead. He'd already lost the mother of his children because of his work; he couldn't lose the rest of his family too.

He sighed as he scanned the room, there was no escape yet.

Not only were the exits being guarded by hotel security, they were being subtly guarded by agents from most of the federal agencies…they weren't going to leave their Directors' fates in the hands of a few everyday security guards. He returned his attention to the Scotch in his hand, running over his meetings with Aimée in his head. While it was obvious that this hadn't gone the way he had planned, he was grateful that she had eventually agreed to still protect his family. If he was going to die, he would at least make sure they were safe first.

Heaving another sigh, he took a gulp of the drink. His demise was imminent – the time for enjoying fine wines was over.

"_**Protect **__**yourself**__." He could almost hear the gunshot that would end his life. He didn't know how, but he __**knew**__ he would die on the other end of the barrel. He'd been involved in the arms trade far too long to go any other way. It was like being stabbed with your own sword…_

_He pulled out his cell when he felt it vibrate. As he read the words on the screen, a feeling of dread enveloped him. Those four words had the power to break him. __**THE DEAL IS OFF**_

"_I might not have been around when the Code was established, but Papa was. Hell, he helped write it. Of course I've got your back." The girl smiled from the opposite couch, a glass of bourbon in her hand. She hadn't changed out of her black dress from the dinner earlier, and her curls were beginning to fall out of her hair. René smiled sadly as he glimpsed the life she could have had. A normal life. She could have just come home from a night on the town with the girls, instead she was returning from a business dinner with men old enough to be her father…her grandfather._

"_I don't care. You want my protection, you go through her. But I can tell you right now what her answer will be." The girl's voice was cold, each word acting like a dagger in the Frenchman's heart. She was his only hope, but it was clear from her eyes that she would not change her mind. He had seen that fire in her eyes before, but it had never been aimed at him. There was no hope._

"_You are signing my death warrant, chérie." He sounded old and weary, more aware of his age and situation than he had ever been. _

"_You know, the Grigori are one of the lucky ones." he sighed as he leant back into the cushions. He himself was still in his tux, but he looked a lot worse for wear than the girl who was handing him another glass of Scotch. He waited until Aimée had sat back down on the couch with a questioning look in her eyes. "Your father, Captain and I are the only ones with heirs. The others have no one. Their only options are to join with an agency, or to hand their business over to their right hand. My children do not know about my work. And Jolie is aware, but she is too young to take over the business. Either way, Captain belongs to the DCRI now. But __**you**__, chérie, you are still a free agent. And you will never be in my daughter's position. …When this is all over, tell her I'm sorry."_

"_Goodbye René. I'll see you in Hell."_ _Aimée turned on her heel and marched from the room, her red cocktail dress flying around her legs at the abrupt movement. He couldn't see her eyes now, but he knew they would hold a burning fire that very little could extinguish. As the door softly closed behind her, it signified the end of an era. There was once a time when he and her father had ruled Europe and abided by the same code of honor, but those days were long gone. Saving his life was now 'a clash of interests'._

"_What do you know about Jasper Sheppard?" Her voice was barely above a whisper as she breathed in his ear. He couldn't see her face, but René didn't have to see it to know that she was infuriated. He knew that calm anger and quiet fury were worse than shouting and threats of violence. This was cold and calculated. She was more dangerous than ever._

"_**Protect **__**yourself**__." Her parting words echoed around his head. This time, he didn't only hear the girl's voice. He heard Jenny Sheppard's voice too. They were mixing together, so much so that he couldn't separate them. The faces of both women were floating in front of his eyes, glaring at him with a look that could kill. The images were doing the same as the voices until he couldn't distinguish between two women. It didn't really matter now…they both wanted him dead._

René shook his head sharply to dispel the images that were playing out in front of his eyes. It was over, there was no use in focusing on the 'what if's. Glancing around the room again, he froze when he saw the focus of his thoughts just feet away.

Slightly obscured by a large potted plant, Jenny Sheppard was in the middle of a heated discussion with Aimée. Moving quietly towards them, he stopped when he was close enough to hear their conversation. Unsurprisingly it was taking place in French, but that was the only thing that didn't surprise him. Why would the Director of NCIS associate with a known arms dealer? It was possible that she didn't know or that she was following in her father's footsteps. However, he seriously doubted that either of those were the reason. Sheppard was far too _good_ for that kind of deceit. Aimée wouldn't tie herself down to an agency either. Her parents wouldn't give into the coercion like he had – Aimée was the heir to their throne. And, as young as she was, she didn't _need_ anyone's protection.

The direction of the conversation as surprising too…it was the type of conversation he'd expect the girl to be having with her mother, not the woman in front of her.

"…_be careful."_ Sheppard's voice was tense, trying to be quiet but get her message across at the same time. The worry in her eyes was genuine, even though she was trying her best to mask it.

"_I know…I will. Besides, you used to take the same risks."_ A small smile played across the younger girls face as she remembered some incident from long ago. She sighed sadly after a moment and pulled the Director into a hug. If René hadn't been listening so intently, he would have missed the next words. _"I'm sorry I'm missing your night. Duty calls."_

Jenny pulled back, her expression blank. She turned the younger girl towards an exit that he had not previously noticed. Pushing her in the right direction, Sheppard added conspiringly, _"Just don't tell him I let you leave. He's mad enough that I dragged him here."_

In the time it took him to retreat back to the bar, it was all over. Director Sheppard was back in the centre of the ballroom, schmoozing with all the right people and keeping her agency in a good position. Meanwhile, Aimée had disappeared. It was like she had never been there. The only sign that something was wrong was that the smile on the older woman's face looked slightly out of place. It was a minor adjustment, but it was clear, to him anyway, that something was on her mind.

Suddenly seeing his escape, Rene headed towards one of the doors. However, as he crossed the room, he saw something that made his heart sink. The one man he had thought could save him clearly didn't deserve that trust. The years had changed him, but it was still undoubtedly the same person. Aiming his trademark grin at Director Sheppard was none other than Le Renard.

For some reason, death seemed like the preferable option. Especially when _this_ was living. He was tired of playing games.

_**JIBBS**_

"You look like you found something." Jimmy stood up from McGee's chair as Tony and Ziva walked back into the bullpen. They both wore dejected and slightly guarded expressions that he hadn't seen on either of their faces for a long time. Something must have changed while they were at Gibbs'. When they left they were full of energy. Taking the personal aspect away and turning this into another case had been their way of coping...going to the house had been like following a lead. Something had definitely changed.

"We found a lot more than 'something', Jimmy." Tony said as he collapsed into his chair.

Ziva stopped behind her desk and watched her partner fall into his chair and put his head in his hands. They were both feeling hurt that Gibbs...and Abby, and Ducky and Jenny...had been keeping secrets from them, but he was taking it particularly badly. He hadn't said anything since they'd left Gibbs'. He was taking this personally. She sighed as she sat down, far more gracefully than Tony, and looked up at Palmer. "It turns out Abby was one hundred percent correct. She – Amanda has a bedroom in Gibbs' house. He has pictures of her in a photo album along with Kelly. She clearly means a lot to him...and to Jenny."

"The Director?" Jimmy asked in confusion. McGee had filled him in on the situation while Tony and Ziva had been away, so he knew there was a link to Jenny. What he didn't know was how their discoveries Gibbs' house had related to Jenny.

"We found a letter." Tony said from his hands. He could see the entire scene playing out in front of his eyes. Their surprise at discovering the room...Ziva reminding him that he was looking the girl whom Gibbs considered a daughter's underwear drawer...finding the two boxes under the bed...

"There were two boxes under the bed." Ziva continued when it was clear that Tony wouldn't say any more. She was really beginning to worry about him. She didn't want this to send him back into the depression that he was just beginning to put behind him. Maybe this emotional upheaval was just one too many for him. Turing her gaze to Jimmy she continued, "One had things of some sentimental value. Jewellery...pictures...photo albums...things that mean nothing to us. And then in the second box she had a lot of letters and postcards. Some were from Gibbs, Ducky and Abby. Most were from Jenny...some were from her to Jenny. Gibbs must have saved them from the fire. It was..." Ziva trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. There were no words to describe the sadness that had enveloped her when she had read a few of the letters. Some were funny, some were little notes home, some were serious. But they were all bittersweet.

Those letters had made one thing painfully clear. Although there was no biological connection, that girl had lost her mother. The relationship was clear from the letters and pictures. Ziva had been through that pain, and she genuinely felt for Amanda. Jenny's last letter had been truly haunting. It must have given Amanda months of sleepless nights.

"What happened?" McGee's was guarded as he entered the bullpen. He took in Tony and Ziva's expressions and his heart began to race. Whatever they'd discovered had been big...he just didn't know which theory it supported. If they were wrong, then implications would be huge. Not only would they have to apologize immensely to Abby, it would mean that they had been kept in the dark by their family...again. How many secrets remained hidden?

But if they were right and there _was_ something sinister about Amanda...if she had some link to the others' disappearance... Well, it'd be one hell of a train wreck.

Jimmy and McGee studied the two agents when they made no move to explain. It was like there was some sort of haze in the minds that was numbing them to the outside world. The kind of haze they hadn't seen since the funeral. Both men were willing to bet their career that it had everything to do with that letter.

"Well then, what'd you find?" McGee repeated, his voice slightly stronger now. The guardedness was beginning to leave his body; he knew that being defensive wouldn't help them open up.

Tony and Ziva exchanged a knowing look that sent made McGee and Palmer's stomachs churn. Something had definitely thrown the two agents. Without a word, Tony reached into his bag and pulled out his camera. Without making to turn it on, he handed it to Jimmy with the words, "It's the last picture."

Looking down at the camera in his hands, Jimmy felt the sense of dread in his stomach increase. Once he read this letter, there would be no going back. It would reopen all the wounds they'd been trying so hard to heal. Taking a deep breath, he switched the camera on. If Tony and Ziva could do it, then so could he. They were all involved in this.

Feeling McGee's confused gaze, Jimmy recounted what Tony and Ziva had told him while he located the picture. When he found it, he connected the camera to the plasma then looked at the picture on the screen. As the image came into focus, he felt his stomach drop.

The first thing he noticed were the dried blood stains. Jenny's blood. Trying to move that thought from his mind, he tried to focus on the other details...anything to put off reading the letter. It had clearly suffered some abuse. The original fold lines could be seen, suggesting that the writer had been forceful when closing the letter and that it had been unfolded and refolded several times. The reasons behind those lines could be anything. Anger, tension, haste, rereading it over and over... The crumple lines were more obvious. The paper had been scrunched up into a ball...the reader clearly hadn't liked the contents of the letter.

_Amanda stared at blood-soaked piece of paper in her hands. Shock and horror were the dominant emotions on her face as she stared unseeingly at the words on the page. She had already read it once, she didn't need to see the words, see Jenny's acceptance, again. As the words began to sink in, she felt the tears and the anger rise. Jenny couldn't give up...she couldn't leave her. Unsuccessfully choking back a sob, Amanda crushed the letter into a ball and threw it at the opposite wall. She felt her knees give out beneath her and was relieved when she felt herself connect with the floor. The coldness gave her something to focus on other than the pain and fear of losing Jenny. She wouldn't run away...she was stronger than that. Burying her head in her knees, she finally let the tears out. _

_It was the middle of the night. The nurses were elsewhere and Josh had gone back to his hotel to find some clean clothes for her. Something without bloodstains. She was alone except for Jenny's motionless body and the beeping machines that were keeping her alive. She could finally stop being brave...stop trying to be strong. She could give into her fears and hold onto some of that innocence Jenny had mentioned. She needed to break down and cry._

Finally finding nothing else of interest to distract himself, Jimmy finally had to read the letter. As he got further into it, the harder it was to keep the shock off his face.

Jenny's final goodbye to the girl she considered a daughter was heartbreaking. No one wanted to see the words where Jenny acknowledged that she was dying or that she didn't expect to come out that diner alive. After reading the letter through once, Jimmy noticed something. Pushing away the grief that was threatening to engulf them all again, Jimmy reread the words. This time, he skipped the words that would have given Amanda a fair few sleepless nights and concentrated on the phrases that jumped out at him. The ones that didn't make sense.

"It doesn't make sense, does it?"

Jimmy turned toward Tony's voice, and saw something in the older man's eyes other than grief. He saw the spark that said Tony had found something to work with. He was going to work on that discrepancy until it made sense. He'd work his way out of the grief by moving forward and throwing himself into their makeshift 'case'.

Jenny's cryptic words had given them something to work with. Tony's reasoning was flawed, but it was enough to keep them treading water. Amanda wasn't completely ruled out as a threat, but that didn't mean that Gibbs, Abby and Ducky weren't in danger. And Jenny's letter gave them some things that suggested that both women had secrets. Now all they had to do was figure out what they were.

As they all turned away from the screen, trying to figure out what was going on, the words remained. Those words remained in the back of the four's minds, and they wouldn't forget them any time soon. What they overlooked was the fact that, halfway around the world, Amanda Mallard spent had eight months trying to forget the same set of words...

_Firstly, I hope you never have to read this. That by some miracle I have the chance destroy this before you see it. But I know the odds, and they aren't good. Honey, your flight lands soon and I don't want you to see how shaken I am. You're treating this like a routine clean-up. You won't consider that I might not get out of this. I can't really pick holes in your methods since I'd be the same if it was you. We'd do anything to save each other... There's no way I'll be able to tell you this in person before this is all over. And it'll be over soon...one way or another. I've no idea if you'll get this or not, but I've got to at least make the effort in case you do. It seems that, recently, all I've done is write letters that will hurt people. I couldn't even begin the one to Jethro. Honey, I want you to know that if I die out here it __isn't__ your fault...I'm the one who screwed up. You did everything you could, and you didn't bring __anything__ on me by being Aimée. Don't stop doing that because of what happened to me. Don't let Jethro spiral into depression and don't push Josh away...you're going to need them both more than ever. If I die...you'll find out a lot of things. And it's not that I didn't trust you, it's that I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Seeing that look in your eyes would have made it all real. I know you hate me babying you, but you've already seen and done too much. I want you to keep some of that innocence I saw the first day I met you in Autopsy. It might be a futile hope, but I'm keeping it. There's so much more to say, but I'm running out of time. I have been for a while. I love you. Don't forget that. And if I make it out of here alive, I'll tell you that myself. And I'll explain everything. Promise. Jx_

_**JIBBS**_

"I don't care if I love you. I don't care if I've missed you like _hell_. If you just agreed to what I think you just agreed to, I will not hesitate to shoot you."

Gibbs smirked at Jenny's no nonsense tone. If she was threatening him with physical violence, she was definitely on the mend.

_His_ Jen was making herself known again.

He knew perfectly well that she meant every word she said – he'd made the mistake of not believing her after she was shot the last time they were in Europe – but she was always so much more appealing when she was angry. Back before her 'death', sometimes he'd piss her off just so he could see that side of her again. When they argued, he got a glimpse of his Jen…even if she was severely pissed off. And sometimes it took almost all of his willpower not to kiss her to shut her up.

He walked across the room to sit on the end of the bed, ignoring the pointed glare she was currently aiming at him. She'd changed out of the nightdress she had been wearing when he'd arrived, and was now dressed in a green turtle neck sweater and jeans. He hadn't seen this side of her in too long, but it made him feel so much better knowing that he'd be seeing her like this a lot more. And that he was the only person who got see what was _underneath_ it as well.

"I'm not kidding Jethro," she growled from her position at the top of the bed. She was currently sitting with her legs crossed, and the daily newspaper spread out between them. That, however, had been forgotten when Josh had lead the physiotherapist into the room. Their evaluation had been standard – that she was to gradually go back to work, that she was to do a set of exercises to boost her strength and that she was to attend rehabilitation for several months were just some of the outcomes – but it had not been met with a warm reception. That kind of plan might have suited Jenny Simmons, but Jenny Sheppard was having none of it.

"It can't hurt, Jen." Gibbs started warily. He knew that he was taking a big risk with this, but Jenny's recovery was the most important thing to him right now. He'd be there for her no matter what, and if that meant getting things thrown at him because he took her to the physio appointments then so be it. After Diane, he could duck anything that was thrown at him…except that seven iron…which _wasn't_ technically thrown.

Jenny had made sure that he had attended those appointments and obeyed the nurses after his coma – well, before he ran off to Mexico – so now it was time to return the favour.

"Besides, you only have to –" he continued, but he was swiftly cut off by an irritated Jenny.

"_I only_ what? It can't _hurt_? Jethro, I'll go insane if they don't let me back to work and you know it! I'm not the kind of woman who sits at home and does nothing!" The image of Jenny in the stereotypical stay-at-home wife role suddenly played before both their eyes, and they were both shocked by how _wrong_ that idea felt. Spurred on by the horror that had come with that picture, Jenny added forcefully, "I'm fine!"

"You and I both know that there's no way you'll be able to go straight back into your old routine, as much as you might want to." Gibbs remained calm as she glared at him. He was pretty confident that she wouldn't hurt him too badly if she flipped, but there was no way she could doubt the truth of his words. Even if she was physically fit, there was no way she could go back to her old routine straight away. Everyone would need an adjustment period, and she would have to get used to the pace again. He had no doubt that she could do it, but he knew it would take time too.

"I can try my best." She countered, her determination clear. She had built the agency up to what it was now, and she'd fight to get it back. She sighed as she saw the look on his face. He was worried about her, and she couldn't blame him. A few days ago, she'd been dead. She wouldn't be surprised if he fear she was going disappear into thin air… She took a deep breath and explained, "Jethro, my problem is not my health. My problem is that for the past eight months I've mainly been in a hospital bed. I've had to have physio because of the shooting, I don't need any more. I _need_ to get back to normality."

There was silence in the room as Gibbs digested her words. He was overprotective, he knew that – who wouldn't be if they were in his position – but he was forgetting that she had been living this nightmare much longer than he had. It was Jenny and Amanda who had gone through her initial recovery from the shooting, and dealing the trial process as it failed to find a cure. While he'd been living in hell thinking she was dead, she'd been coming to terms with the possibility that she was going to die. And now she was okay and wanted out…he couldn't blame her for that.

Jenny laughed as the smirk crept onto Gibbs' face. He was definitely planning _something_…

"Bethesda will want to come up with a plan to suit _you_ as soon as we get home. _They_ will listen to Director Sheppard." Jenny shushed him when he said her real name. Just because there was no one around and the fact that there was technically no threat didn't give him the okay to possibly compromise him. This wasn't like him – reckless? Without a doubt. Careless? He was too good an agent to be careless – but she couldn't think why he would pull a stunt like that. Ignoring her, Gibbs added, "All you have to do is follow the plan until we leave _this_ hospital."

Realisation flashed across Jenny's face as the meaning behind his words became clear. She laughed again and shook her head at his logic. Of course _he_ would find that loophole. Leaning forward, she gave him a quick peck on the lips before returning to her newspaper. Looking over the brim of it she wondered, "You were thinking that all along weren't you? You were only going to have me follow that plan till we left for Mexico."

Grinning, Gibbs shrugged unashamedly before leaning in to capture Jenny's lips. Maybe he had, but she didn't need to know that.

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1) Lyrics are from Viva La Vida by Coldplay. I think that song pretty much sums him up tbh…as for how he knows it…who knows, Jeanne might like Coldplay! lol

**2) DCRI: Central Directorate of Interior Intelligence - **_**Direction centrale du renseignement intérieur**_**. Founded in 2008 by the merger of the RG and the DST, it is tasked with counter-espionage, counter-terrorism and the surveillance of potential threats** **on French territory.**

**I've added a tag to this chapter, its another version of the Frog scene. Its the meeting that took place right before Benoit starts his musing on his impending doom. www . fanfiction . net/s/6481825/1/**

**MatteaAM****, ****Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs**** (I really shouldn't make deadlines!), ****Levana Fay****, ****Tempe4Booth****, ****jmarrero16**** – thanks for the reviews :) **

**HesMines xx**


	15. Caught Out

**Well, I didn't plan for this bit to be as long as it is, but the plot kind of took on a mind of it's own…slightly filler-ish, but I like it. Who else (UK) has snow? I've got about two feet and haven't been outside since Tuesday…I'm starting to feel like such a wee hermit! Oh, I went back to check some of my old chapters...all my line breaks are gone! When did this happen? **

**Thanks to Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs** (thanks for the other review too! I can see the email for your updates/new stories as I'm going to read them asap – they look really good :D) **Levana Fay** (thanks for the other review too! I'm gonna get to the updates asap – I really wanna know whats happening next I've just not had a chance to read them), **Tempe4Booth, Hallolo** (thanks! And I knew the French wasn't technically correct, I don't trust the translators totally) **and Tony and Ziva forever. Sorry I haven't replied to your reviews yet, I'm still trying to sort out my inbox! Between facebook and fanfiction, my inbox hates me!**

**Disclaimer – nope, still don't own it.**

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"Have you seen Josh?"

Gillian jumped and looked up in shock. She didn't know why, but fear flooded her body as her fight or flight instinct rooted her to the spot. A split second later she came face to face with Amanda, who showed no reaction to the mixture of shock and fear on the older nurse's face other than a mischievous glint in her eyes. Gillian shook her head and smiled weakly at the girl, trying to dispel the feelings. She didn't know what had brought on that reaction – she wasn't afraid of Amanda – but she did know that it was totally irrational. Attempting to calm her racing heart, she replied weakly, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you coming."

Amanda continued to stare at Gillian. Although the most obvious reason behind her actions was that she was surprised she evoked that reaction from the nurse, it didn't feel right. The look was much more calculating. After a few moments, Amanda prompted, "Josh?"

"Staff room." Gillian answered hesitantly, slightly taken aback by the girl's harsh demeanor. Adding to the confusion, when Gillian gave away his location Amanda turned on her heel and headed towards the staff room without so much as a backward glance.

Gillian watched Amanda as she walked away. Something had changed about her, but she couldn't quite place what it was. There was a marginal shift in everything about her, and it created an almost entirely different person.

Instead of wearing the jeans and everyday clothes that the staff had grown accustomed to seeing her in, Amanda was wearing business attire instead. The grey trousers and jacket matched with her white shirt screamed professionalism. The stiletto heels easily added five inches to her height and made her look much more imposing. The fact that they made no sound against the floor allowed her to ghost through the halls unnoticed.

_That_ wasn't a girl to mess with.

_**JIBBS**_

"That could've gone better." Amanda sighed as she leant against the doorway of the staff room, her arms folded.

"What could've gone better?" Josh answered as he poured boiling water into the two waiting cups. Picking them up, he walked over and handed the stronger cup of tea to Amanda. She smiled as she felt the warmth spread through her hands. Sighing again, she took an experimental sip before pulling a face that clearly said _how can you drink this stuff_? Josh added with a laugh, "Hey, I know you like your coffee and you like it strong, but give me some credit. This is the best I can do."

"I've had worse." She smirked, remembering the first time Josh had accidentally grabbed her coffee. She'd ended up with his mint cappuccino with extra everything, and he'd ended up with a 'Gibbs Special'. He knew she liked it strong, but he wasn't aware of just how strong the 'Gibbs Special' actually was. He'd acted like a drop would keep him awake for a week.

"So, what happened?"

"Up until eleven was okay. Finished Bekka's threat assessments, which means she should get the okay to run her op pretty soon. Got read in on a few cases and operations, updated on others. Hectic but normal." She remarked with some semblance of shock in her voice. She hadn't expected the morning to go so smoothly – call her cynical but her life was never that quiet. "And then all hell broke loose. I went for coffee and was back in the building two minutes before I got called in to oversee an op in the Middle East. The threat level went up and right now I'm the only Modern Warfare Specialist in London."

"There are only ten of you to begin with, don't sell yourself short." It was a little known fact that very few spies actually had a specialty. Most were generic field agents, albeit highly trained, highly dangerous and highly skilled.

The group of agents that they both belonged to – the spies who had been essentially trained from birth – was a team in itself, but they were spread throughout the agency. Every year the Academy produced different agents with different qualities, but that didn't lessen their efficiency. This schooling system produced exactly what the government wanted – a diverse range multi-skilled of agents who were ruthless and efficient. Their group identity and their diversity made them a force to be reckoned with. There were the full time field agents who didn't specialize in anything other than being lethal weapons. There were the lab rats who worked behind the scenes as some of the country's top scientists – but who could also kill someone with their bare hands. And then, there were the specialists. The ones who at the age of fourteen had made the decision to pursue a specific area on top of their general training.

He was a fully trained field agent, but he also had a medical degree that could get him almost anywhere. Whether it was into a hospital to guard and treat someone, providing advice on operations, or even using it as a safety net when he was in the field. There were other doctors/agents like him, his dad being one of them, but they were a valuable asset to the agency. Yes, there _were_ doctors who worked solely on a medical basis for MI6, but this group of agents had the credibility and status that society bestowed on the medical profession – you can't buy that kind of credibility.

Amanda, on the other hand, specialized in modern warfare. She was the youngest of ten agents who MI6 turned to for advice on most of its major operations. That was if they weren't one of the agents running the operation to begin with. Between them they covered everything from guerrilla to electronic warfare, and Amanda was the go-to girl for biological or chemical warfare. Her role as Aimée Jones only further secured her role within the agency.

"We got that sorted out eventually," she continued as if she hadn't heard him. Yes, she was aware of the position she held within the agency, but she wasn't one to dwell on that fact. Jenny had warned her years ago about the dangers of only caring about your career. "but then I got a call from SecNav's PA who told me he was flying over and bringing an agent with him."

"He's flying over?" Josh repeated in shock. This wasn't part of the plan – it never had been. And as for bringing an agent along...

"Yeah. To say the Director is pissed is an understatement. We couldn't get a hold of him to ask what the hell he thought he was doing. And it turns out it's not an agent...its Abby. She called me halfway through the Middle East op. Heard us blow up the convoy and everything. She didn't know about Jenny and I didn't tell her...that's not the kind of conversation you have over the phone. Before I could really talk to her, Aimée got a call from some Colombian drug lord."

"Amanda to Aimée in naught point five seconds." He mumbled into his coffee, trying to figure out what their next move would be. They, hopefully, had a few hours to put any plans into action, but the truth was did Amanda really want to make any changes? He knew she wanted to let Abby know what was going on, but there was no way that the US's Secretary of Navy turning up at a hospital would go unnoticed. If they were going to move Jenny, it would have to been done sooner rather than later.

_**JIBBS**_

Amanda and Josh sat at on the sofa in the staff room, their heads close together and their knees touching as they whispered plans. The door was lying slightly open. Haley was right – the acoustics sucked, especially at night. This way they could hear anyone heading their way. They had to figure out how they were going to move Jenny without causing suspicion. It had only been a few days since she'd woken up from her coma, no sane doctor would release their patient this soon. But since claiming insanity on Josh's part wasn't an option, they had to plan the next few hours very carefully.

The decision on whether or not to move Jenny had been taken out of their hands and made by the Director himself. He wanted her moved to a safe house and any meetings with SecNav were to take place there. He also wanted the house guarded by members of the SAS – they had been on standby for the majority of this operation, he'd said, so it was about time they made themselves useful.

" – don't care, you've got to see this!" Amanda and Josh turned toward the voices in that were echoing though the open staff room door. The owner of the voice was whispering conspiringly and two sets of footsteps were turning the end of the corridor, slowly approaching the door. They had two and a half minutes tops before they were joined in the staff room.

Josh, a plan forming suddenly in his head, spun back around to face Amanda. He pulled her lips to his, and pushed her back on the couch so that he was lying on top of her. He felt her tense for a moment, confused by his actions, then she relaxed under his hands and kissed him back. One of his hands went straight to her hair while the other found its way under her shirt, attempting to make her look a little disheveled and give the impression that they'd been in this position for a while. In retaliation, Amanda made quick work of his shirt buttons before fisting her hands in his hair and intertwining their legs. If they were going to get caught in a compromising position, there was no reason to do things halfway.

The footsteps paused outside the door for a moment, before the door burst open to reveal an excited Haley dragging a confused Gillian into the room. At the sound of the door banging against the wall, Amanda and Josh broke apart. Feigning shock, their heads snapped toward the nurses without making any move to disentangle themselves.

Both nurses froze as their eyes landed on the couple on the sofa. Simultaneously, Gillian and Haley's eyes widened and their jaws went slack. Although they'd both heard the rumours, and suspected that something was going on – or knew, in Haley's case as she'd spotted them in the corridor – but they hadn't expected _this_. Gillian was the first to react, taking two small steps backwards. She knew that her chances of escape were slim, especially with Haley so adamant to show her something, but she thought that if she tried to give the couple some privacy things would be less awkward. At least Josh's reaction to her questioning made sense now.

Blinking rapidly, Haley shot her hand out to stop Gillian. This…this was too good. She knew that the Simmons girl would fall from grace with this revelation, but her relationship with Josh would be in jeopardy too. Hopefully he'd see sense now – that the American wasn't as perfect as she seemed. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that he'd fall out of Amanda's arms and into hers, but as long as Amanda was exposed for what she was it didn't matter.

"Oops." Amanda smiled, before placing her hands on Josh's bare chest and pushing him up. Sitting up herself, she straightened out her shirt and ran a hand through her messy hair. Sharing a look with Josh, she bit her lip in an attempt to stop the laughter that was bubbling beneath the surface.

"You wanted something?" Josh attempted to ask with a straight face. He started redoing his buttons, not looking forward to the remainder of his shift. Haley would sulk and Gillian would pry like his mother. Gibbs would glare at him when the news reached him, pretending to be angry. And Amanda would continue with the charade, throwing him flirtatious smiles and looks.

It was going to be a long night.

When Josh locked eyes with Haley, something felt wrong. There wasn't the usual hatred and jealousy in her eyes. Yes, that was there, but it was mainly a mixture of shock, excitement and a little fear. Both spies could read her body language, it suggested that she was frantic about something but they couldn't figure out what. Letting go of Gillian, the blonde nurse raced over to the TV in the middle of the room and flicked through the channels. As she waited for the correct one to load, she turned to Amanda and smirked triumphantly, "Care to explain?"

Confused, Amanda and Josh turned their attention to the blue screen. Amanda's gut had started acting up the moment Haley had looked at her with excitement in her eyes. When she'd gone to the TV, a feeling of dread had started to appear. She knew what was coming next, but she didn't want to give the nurse the satisfaction of looking shaken. Josh knew the secret that was about to be unveiled, so all they could do was play along.

When Jenny appeared and the name of the show appeared at the bottom of the screen Amanda's expression hardened and her heart start beating faster. _Well, at least they had another reason to leave now._

**156 BIO Time 21.15  
****NOW Women at the Top: Jenny Sheppard  
****22.00 The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty**

"A woman who just got admitted used to live next door to Ms. Sheppard when she stayed in London." Haley announced to the silent room, smirking at the guarded expression Amanda wore. She hadn't realized that Josh had reacted the same way – she only cared about her rival. "Told me how she'd been following her career ever since. Apparently, she was really annoyed that there was never any mention of Sheppard's daughter. Especially once she died. She thought that people should remember that Jenny wasn't _just_ Director Sheppard."

"_The biggest obstacle getting here?" The Jenny on the screen repeated the interviewer's question. She took a moment before answering, "The people, men and women, who thought I couldn't do it. The one's who put me down because I used to be an agent. Or the people who resented me because I was a woman. What really irritated me were the people who thought I slept my way to the top."_

Amanda didn't react. She stared evenly at Haley, waiting for her to continue. If she knew the nurse, she would drag this moment out as long as possible. "This is a re-run. It says she has no family, but Mrs. Smith says her son used to go out with Sheppard's daughter."

Josh reacted to that. His head turned slightly to Amanda, pleased to see that she hadn't cracked where he had. He knew she had a past that didn't include him, but he didn't like the thought of an ex returning halfway through their operation. Yes, it was a risk, but he really didn't like the thought of an ex knowing her half as well as he did.

Haley grin grew when she saw him crack. Poor guy didn't have a clue…

"They added a voiceover and some footage of her funeral at the beginning. They say that Director Sheppard died in a house fire. I saw the footage in Mrs. Smith's room. You had short black hair and the man who you _say_ is you dad was basically holding you up. You were a complete _mess_ at the funeral, but apparently you haven't left her side since she was shot. We know _that_ happened – she has the wounds to prove it. But everything else you've told us is a _lie_."

_**JIBBS**_

"How much trouble do you think we'd get in if I broke you out and took you to dinner?" Gibbs asked suddenly, drawing Jenny's attention away from the book in her hands. They were lying on the couch, Jenny using Gibbs' chest as a pillow. They didn't talk, but the silence wasn't awkward or heavy. They didn't _need_ to talk, but they did need to be together. Gibbs had to reassure himself that this was, in fact, actually happening and that she was cured, while she was reveling in the feeling that was just _them_.

"Hmm," she mused, turning her body so that she was curled into Gibbs' chest. She didn't really want to move, she was happy exactly where she was, but the idea of dinner did sound tempting. Sighing, she lazily answered, "Depends on whether or not we tell Amanda or Josh. If we don't our lives won't be worth living. We'll be hunted down by the SAS."

"And if we do tell them?" he enquired, starting to slowly draw patterns on her back.

"The nurses would be pissed, but they'd cover for us." She answered after a long moment, looking up to meet his gaze. "And if we asked nicely they might even let us go without a protection detail." She added as an afterthought. She knew where he was going with this. He wanted them to go out as Jenny and Jethro at least once before they returned. He wanted to make the most of their alone time before he had to share her with the rest of the world.

She glanced at the clock on the wall to check the time, and seeing that it was only half past nine she started to make a list of restaurants she knew opened late. "I think dinner sounds like a great idea."

_**JIBBS**_

Amanda felt her cell vibrate in her pocket, and tore her gaze away from the infuriating blonde nurse. How could she not realize that she would not win this argument? Josh had already made it clear he was in on the plan from the beginning…

She glared at the offending object, as if it had somehow wronged her. Seeing a text message from Jenny she internally sighed, something else had happened. However, when she read the message she felt a small smile play around her lips. Things were definitely looking up.

**Going for dinner. Same Chinese as last time. No detail? Jx**

What could she reply to that? No don't go, it's not safe... Of course I'm sending a detail, what if something goes wrong?… Don't do anything I wouldn't do… Recommend a good hotel?… Give them directions to the safe house?… Fill them in on the situation here?…

No, she wouldn't do that. There was plenty of time to deal with this mess. Besides, this was her operation so it was technically her mess. Rule 45. Ginning, she quickly typed her reply.

**Have fun. Suite at Plaza On The River under Gibbs. No surveillance. Ax**

She had already acquired two of the suites for Abby and SecNav, using Gibbs' name for the bookings. A phone call would get her a third room, although she doubted Abby would stay the night anywhere but the safe house. Not once she found out Mommy was still alive.

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So…good, bad, terrible? Tell me xx


	16. Leaving

**Happy New Year! Its nearly 8am on New Years Day and I've had very little sleep…so I thought I'd do something productive!**

**Originally this was going to be done in two parts, but I'm putting part of it as a flashback and posting it as a tag. It's called 'Last Time' and should be up in a few days – I think it's pretty obvious where it fits in, I've been hinting at it for chapters! **

**Thanks to Tempe4Booth, healingcat, Levana Fay, Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs, Tony and Ziva forever and Guess whoooooo …the last one is actually my little sister. If anyone feels like a laugh go read her review – it made my day! I couldn't stop laughing…although the fact she was sitting at the opposite end of the couch from me with that sly wee grin probably helped!**

**Disclaimer – nope, the rights to NCIS didn't appear in my stocking this year :(**

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Amanda and Haley glared at each other. Neither woman was willing to back down and the tension in the room tangible. Without removing her eyes from the blond and her American accent still firmly in place, Amanda growled, "I thought she was gonna die."

Amanda blinked, and Gillian noticed that there were tears in her eyes. Her heart suddenly went to the girl. If this was all true, then there was a lot going on that they didn't know about. "She was in a coma. It was critical. They couldn't tell me if she would live or not. And I was halfway across the country attending a fake funeral when I should've been with her. Of course I was a mess!" She shook her head and let out a bitter laugh, "Dad and Abby didn't know she was alive at that point. Hell, Abby _still_ doesn't know!"

"Mandy." Josh warned, gently resting his hand on her arm. He knew what she was doing. She was twisting the real story and their cover story even more. Their training allowed them to improvise, to twist their cover and the facts around to fit any given situation...mostly.

In a situation like this, the enemy would most likely believe the change. In others it would, hopefully, give said spy time to run. As a spy there's always a back-up plan. Then there's the back-up plan for the back-up plan. If they don't have several contingency plans that can be brought into action at a moment's notice, they can be sure not to live much longer. But they also have to be spontaneous and able to pull things out of the air and switch aims at a moment's notice. It was a fine line, but it was one all spies found easy to walk.

The problem here was he wasn't totally convinced it was Amanda Simmons giving _this_ display.

"Don't '_Mandy'_ her!" Haley shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. Part of her noticed that this was the first time he'd used Mandy in their presence, and that he seemed comfortable using it. Before her mind could think of the kind of situations in which he could have used Mandy, she pointed angrily at the girl sitting on the sofa. "She lied to you! She lied to all of us! Actually, if you want to get technical she's hoodwinked half the world into thinking Jenny Sheppard's dead!"

Josh stood up and glared at Haley. The height difference had given him a psychological advantage, his voice was low, dangerous and sending a chill down Haley's spine. She felt like prey being backed into a corner...and not in a good way. "You really think the Americans wouldn't inform _someone_ of the true situation. You think they'd just leave Jenny Sheppard and her daughter to fend for themselves? I've been in on this since the beginning."

_**JIBBS**_

Jenny smiled as Gibbs pulled her along the hallway. Now that they had been given the go-ahead to leave, he seemed anxious to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible. Maybe he was worried that Amanda or Josh would change their minds...decide not to let her out of their sights or decide that a protection detail was required. Maybe he just hated hospitals. Either way, she had the feeling that she was leaving Jenny Simmons' life behind, at least until they boarded the plane to Mexico.

"Jethro, wait a second." Jenny said suddenly, pulling her lover to a stop. She inclined her head towards two rooms on the opposite side of the elevator. "Two people just got admitted. That's not normal, not here."

Although there was just curiosity in her voice, Gibbs' gut reaction was to pull out his weapon and drag Jenny down the stairs. Before he could act on the latter, a porter exited the room nearest to them. On seeing the couple, he smiled and walked over. "Finally escaping, huh?" he laughed, nodding to the two bags that Gibbs was currently carrying. The young man had come to get to know all of the patients on the ward, and it always cheered him up to see them recover and leave. It wasn't that common up here, not when ninety percent of the patients were undergoing experimental treatment for a host of nasty diseases. But when it did happen it gave everyone a morale boost.

"Who are the new arrivals?" Jenny asked conversationally, her tone light.

"Scheduled kidney transplant. Should take place on Monday." He shrugged. In response to the surprised look on Jenny's face, he added, "There were no free beds anywhere else in the hospital. That's a Saturday night for you. Apparently Mrs. Smith has a really rare blood group, and now that they've found a donor they want the transplant to happen as quickly as possible."

"Her first name isn't Claire is it?" Jenny whispered almost hopefully. Smith was a perfectly common surname, so there was every chance that it wasn't her friend getting the kidney. But, really…how many Mrs. Smiths in London had a rare blood group, needed a kidney, and would end up in the same ward as her?

"Yeah." The porter added automatically before he realized the question. Looking at Jenny in confusion he added, "Why? Do you know her?"

There was silence in the hallway for a moment as the two men looked at Jenny. She looked at the Gibbs for a moment, internally debating her next move. Seeing something supportive in his eyes, other than the concern at her sudden behavior, she took a deep breath and added carefully, "Yeah. I – I'm going to go check in on her…if that's okay?" It was meant to be a statement but it sounded more like a question.

"Sure, she was still awake when I passed. She's in the further away of the two rooms." If he was surprised by her sudden interest in a new patient he hid it well. He pointed to the room, although all present knew it was a pointless exercise – Jenny had been there long enough to know the ward like the back of her hand. She grabbed Gibbs' hand and pulled him towards the room before she could change her mind.

"You sure about this Jen?" he whispered once they were out of earshot of the porter. It worried him slightly how much this had affected her. He guessed her latest brush with death had given her a new perspective on mortality. _She_ had survived, but now her friend was in a similar position.

Pausing outside the door, she smiled sadly, "She's my best friend, I can't _not_ see her."

_**JIBBS**_

Amanda placed the last pair of shoes into the duffle bag and sighed. Swiftly closing the zip, she turned around to survey the bare room that had been her personal hell and sanctuary for the last six months. At that moment in time, with all of her and Jenny's things packed away, the room seemed alien. She didn't just have bad memories of this room – there were the good ones as well. Sitting up late talking, the movie nights…times where everything seemed relatively normal. As bad as it sounded, there were times when she was, not glad this had happened, but happy to have Jenny all to herself. She knew it wouldn't last forever, and she knew that the end would come one way or another, but it was so nice to have her _Mom_ back again.

In the six months before Jenny's 'death' they had barely seen each other. Sure there had been emails and letters, postcards and phone calls, but it wasn't the same as actually spending time together. Three days before she'd left Paris for San Diego, she'd called Jenny. Black Rose wanted to catch up with Rêve Noir. They'd had a chance to talk before Jenny was called into MTAC, but neither woman could know that less than a week later they'd be reunited in a way neither of them would have wished for.

Jenny was unconscious, fighting for her life. Amanda was sitting by her bed, praying to all the Gods she didn't believe in that Jenny would make it. God, Allah, Buddha, Brahmin, Anubis, Zeus…Hell, even Aphrodite got a mention at one point. She'd vowed then that she'd try harder, that no matter _what,_ their careers wouldn't get in the way. Now it was time to put that theory to the test.

_I know you took me to Athens for my 20__th__, but other than that I've barely seen you in the last six months. I think the Gods of scheduling are conspiring against us... No matter what happens, we're doing something together this summer. I don't care if it's a weekend spa trip or three weeks in the Alps… I miss you. _

Pausing to look out the window, Amanda laid eyes on the Corsa in the parking lot. That would be going back into stock very soon. It wasn't that she didn't _like_ the car. She just preferred something a little _faster_. Amanda Simmons couldn't afford to be conspicuous…Amanda Mallard on the other hand, she could deal with it. Her new Audi was getting delivered the next day, and she couldn't wait!

She didn't turn around when she heard someone walk past the closed door. She knew Haley was checking up on her. The blonde wouldn't come within six feet of her…but she _would_ walk past the room every thirty minutes, waiting for her to leave. Amanda internally cringed as snippets of their argument flashed before her eyes. Things had gotten a little out of hand, and at one point they weren't even arguing about Jenny any more.

"_Josh." This time it was Amanda who cut in with the warning._

"_No. I could've lost you that night as well!" Josh turned to his girlfriend, real pain in his eyes. They both knew that there was a good chance that she might have ended up in that diner with Jenny. And if she had, and didn't take back-up, there was a pretty good chance that neither of the women would have escaped unscathed._

_Haley stared at Josh in silence, shocked by his outburst. Gillian, however, turned to him and asked quietly, "What does he mean?" It was as if she was afraid of the answer._

_Josh took a deep breath and shook his head, reluctant to form the words. Tearing her gaze away from his, Amanda smiled sadly at the older nurse. "I was there when Mom got shot."_

She didn't think that everything was completely sorted out with Haley and Gillian, but it was the best she could do at the moment. Signing Jenny out immediately was the best option, for all of them. Amanda and Jenny Simmons would disappear, and in a few weeks Jenny Sheppard and Amanda Mallard would resurface. Josh would only have to endure a few more days here until they could find him a replacement.

Glancing once again around the room, she grabbed the bags and headed out the door. She would walk out of this life and back into her own within the hour. Mandy Mallard was back, and this time it was for good…not until the next morning when it was time to go back to the hospital.

She smiled at Gillian tentatively as she approached the nurse's station. Just because the older nurse had shown no adverse reaction a few hours ago, that didn't mean that she hadn't changed her mind in the intervening hours. Her worry was dissipated as Gillian returned the smile and pulled a stack of papers towards her.

"Right," she said as she looked through the files and handed a pen over to the spook, "everything should be in order. You've just got to sign it all."

Offering another, more genuine, smile, Amanda took the pen and began signing the papers. With every elegant flourish, she severed the ties between her and this live. Josh would copy all of this before he left, and then he'd 'misplace' it. It'd end up in the case file at best. At worst, the paperwork would be burned in the dead of night.

As she turned the last page, she felt her necklace slip out from inside her shirt and hang carefully above the papers. Stopping halfway through a signature, Amanda made to hide it again. This was something she didn't want anyone to know about. Andy Sheppard, Amanda Gibbs, Amanda Simmons, Aimée Jones, Mandy Mallard…it didn't matter who she was, that necklace went everywhere with her. It shouldn't, but it did. It was the one tie to her own life that she couldn't bring herself to sever.

"That's a lovely necklace." Gillian remarked as she tucked it back into her shirt. While it had only been on show for a few seconds, Gillian had caught a glimpse of the blue heart on the delicate silver chain. "Why keep it hidden?"

"It's…it's personal." Amanda admitted, not wanting to totally lie about the origins of the necklace. It meant too much to her for her to do that, but she also felt like she owed the nurse some form of the truth. After all, Gillian was partially to thank for the fact that she was leaving the hospital with her sanity intact. "Mom got if for me when she was stationed in Cairo. She saw it and thought I'd like it. Said it matched my eyes. She sent it because she thought she was going to miss my birthday...I didn't know that until she'd actually made it home. For a while, this and a few letters were all I had of her."

_It means she's always with me, even if she's not there. It means she'll never truly leave me. It's to remind me that, no matter what my passport says, I'm still __**me**_.

_**JIBBS**_

Abby collapsed onto the couch with a laugh. She looked around the room again and let out another giggle. _This_ was not what she had expected. She hadn't expected five star hotels or being chauffeured from place to place in a limo. Maybe it was the norm for SecNav, but for a forensic scientist…this was amazing. She was like a little kid at the fair for the first time. A little scared, but mostly awed by everything that was going on.

"You've really outdone yourself this time Mandy." Abby shook her head in wonder, as another giggle slipped through her lips.

"Well if you like this you should see some of the hotels Aimée gets to stay in."

Abby spun around to see Amanda leaning casually against the doorframe of one of the rooms. As Abby jumped up to hug her, she mentally catalogued the changes in the younger girl. She looked happier and more stress free than she had a few days ago, but she also looked nervous about something. She could see straight through Amanda's confident cocky demeanor to see that something was eating away at her. The bags under her eyes and her pale complexion were most likely due to yet another sleepless night. But other than all that she seemed…normal. And that was a surprise considering the girl had been anything _but_ normal for the last eight months.

Returning the hug, Amanda smiled despite the situation she was about to create. She'd been preoccupied in DC, but now she realized just how much she'd _missed_ the bubbly Goth.

Pulling back from the hug, Abby looked Amanda straight in the eye and asked, "Okay, _what_ is going on Mandy?"

Sobering up instantly, Amanda smiled sadly. Gesturing towards the couch she answered evasively, "You might wanna sit down for this one, Abs."

Without a word, Abby turned around and made a beeline for the couch. That was the great thing about her, she understood how serious this was, even though she didn't know what was going on. Abby could sometimes give the impression that she was a little girl who needed looking after, when the reality was she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Most of the time. Sometime Abby needed to be that little girl.

"I don't know how much SecNav told you on the flight over, so I'm just going to start at the beginning." Amanda sighed as she settled down on the opposite end of the couch from Abby. "For the last eight or so months I've been working…a kind of protection detail. Top secret, high stakes, everything to play for – the stuff I do best."

Abby remained silent as Amanda spoke, comparing what Amanda was telling her with the information SecNav had given her. So far, the stories seemed to match.

"It started off as back-up. And then everything went wrong. _Everything_. For me, my whole world turned upside down. Will was murdered, Jenny was shot, Jethro was hunted down… I had to deal with that, accept a lot of truths I didn't like, run the Grigori, this new mission was my priority… I wasn't coping. You were right. I threw myself into work."

"Why couldn't you just tell us?" Abby's voice was quiet. She wasn't accusing, merely questioning. "Even if you couldn't tell Gibbs, why not tell me? I'd have figured something out to tell him. We were worried sick about you."

"Abs…" Amanda took a deep breath and looked away from Abby. This was exactly what she'd expected, but it was twice as bad as she'd thought it'd be. Abby was so…innocent and childlike at times. She was great a t guilt trips, especially when she didn't know she was doing them. Right now, all she was doing was wondering why her 'little sister' didn't think she could trust her. She had no idea how wrong she was…

As she gazed out the window she tried to shake the feeling of guilt that was resting in her stomach. Sighing, she admitted, "Abs you're not the only one who still remembers what happened last time. My world is dangerous. We both know that. I – I just didn't want you getting hurt because of me." She turned back around to meet Abby's downcast eyes and added apologetically, "Again."

Both girls heard the gunshots echo through their memories, and the images flashed before their eyes. Fifteen year old Amanda killing two marines before they could kill them – it wasn't the nicest introduction to the spy world, but it _was_ realistic.

"Abby, this time it was so much more than just another assignment." She locked eyes with the older girl, her eyes pleading with her to understand, to forgive her. Amanda's words from their earlier phone call pushed themselves to the forefront of her mind. _I'm so sorry. I didn't have a choice. This was the only way. If there was any way I could've told you I would've but –_

Abby took a deep breath, knowing that she wouldn't like the answer to her question. Flatly, she asked, "What did you do?"

There was a lingering silence as she waited for her answer. Amanda looked down at her hands, signaling to Abby that whatever it was, it was really _really_ bad. If the room hadn't been so quiet, Abby would have missed the spook's whispered words, "I faked Mom's death. Jenny didn't _die_."

**[Insert DUN]**

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Wow, that last part was actually really hard to write…I'm not sure how good it is but I think it's okay! xx


	17. Telling Abby

**Moral of this? Never ever ever neglect a dissertation people. Even if you are ill and cannot think in a straight line and only leave it for a week and a half. Or are waiting to see if the topic of your third chapter is going to die or not. Anywho! I'm sorry and I hope the Jibbs makes up for it. **

**Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs**** (merci for the review on Last Time too!) ****Tempe4Booth****, ****badprobiemcgee****, ****Tony and Ziva forever**** and ****Levana Fay**** – Thanks for the reviews guys! KTMrshall – even though you nearly died when I showed you the Jibbs, thanks for the prompt...even though you didn't mean it! You got me out of the writer's block, have somehow managed to keep me sane and **_**still**_** put up with me :)**

**If anyone wants to see the hotel they're in go to www(dot)photowebusa(dot)com/plaza-on-the-river/ for the virtual tour. Jenny and Gibbs are in a studio suite, SecNav and Ducky have one room suites, Amanda, Josh and Abby are in the two room suite.**

**Disclaimer - ...nope, still no ownership :/**

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"Abby, this time it was so much more than just another assignment." She locked eyes with the older girl, her eyes pleading with her to understand, to forgive her. Amanda's words from their earlier phone call pushed themselves to the forefront of her mind. _I'm so sorry. I didn't have a choice. This was the only way. If there was any way I could've told you I would've but –_

Abby took a deep breath, knowing that she wouldn't like the answer to her question. Flatly she asked, "What did you do?"

There was a lingering silence as she waited for her answer. Amanda looked down at her hands, signaling to Abby that whatever it was it was really _really_ bad. If the room hadn't been so quiet, Abby would have missed the spook's whispered words, "I faked Mom's death. Jenny didn't _die_."

_**JIBBS**_

Gibbs moved even closer to Jenny until their bodies were almost touching, then he bought his hands up to cup her face. Jenny's eyes briefly closed as she used all of her willpower to keep from grabbing him and pulling her lips to his like she had on many occasions before. The air between them was electric, and she knew the anticipation would be almost as good as the kiss itself.

She wanted Gibbs to be the one to make the move this time. She wanted _him_ to break first.

It began slowly. He lowered his lips to hers, his breath ghosting across her lips. He paused for a moment, millimeters away, and she had to repress a moan. Then he moved and touched his lips to hers once, twice, three times. With a sigh of pleasure, he pressed his mouth firmly to hers as his hands moved down to wrap around her waist and pull her tightly against him. Her hands came up to tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer.

Gibbs brought one hand back up to her face to cradle her jaw, angling her head up and allowing him better access. His tongue flicked out and traced the contours of her lips. Jenny moaned softly and parted her lips, allowing him entrance. Her taste was sweet and intoxicating – something he identified as simply _Jenny_.

And he couldn't get enough.

Never one to remain passive and let him have the lead, Jenny began to kiss him back, their tongues fighting for dominance. This time it wasn't a kiss that could be interrupted at any minute by Amanda or Josh or anyone else. It wasn't a kiss in the middle of an argument. It wasn't a moment that could or would have to end soon. This was simply him loving her and her loving him.

Craving her and needing to feel more of her beneath his touch, Gibbs's hands moved to her shoulders, cupping them softly then squeezing gently before trailing the tips of his fingers down her arms where his hands lingered for a moment, then followed the same path back up, this time splaying his palms open across her arms. Jenny sighed with pleasure as her hands moved from his head down to his chest, and she reveled in the feel of his ripping muscles beneath her fingers, separated only by his thin shirt.

Suddenly the closeness they shared was no longer enough for either of them and they needed to be closer still. Gibbs shifted forward, pinning her against the wall so there was no longer any space between them. Jenny finally pulled her mouth from his out of sheer need for oxygen, and he moved his mouth to her neck. As his fingers and his lips continued their exploration, Jenny threw her head back in pleasure and a moan escaped her lips. Her hands traveled from his chest, opening the buttons on his shirt as she went, and paused at the waistband of his pants.

She knew _exactly_ where she wanted to go, but changed her mind at the last second. She slipped her fingers through the belt loops and pulled him impossibly closer. She knew what she wanted, but to him she had been dead a week ago. They were going to do this right this time, which meant he controlled the pace tonight.

A growl rumbled in Gibbs' chest as she pulled his lips back to hers, relishing the contact. Sure, there had been kissing, and a little wandering hands, while they had been at the hospital, but they had never been able to do anything to really remedy the tension between them. His fingers crept under her shirt, seeking contact with her skin. Jenny shivered as his fingers danced across her heated flesh in feather-light touches. The tips of his fingers trailed up her sides, before spreading possessively across her back. Days, years if you wanted to get technical, of repressed desire was finally being unleashed as the fire between them intensified.

.

"Jethro," Gibbs swallowed Jenny's breathless murmur in a passionate kiss. Somehow, they had ended up on the bed, with Gibbs hovering above Jenny. Her hands were tangled in his hair, while his were positioned on either side of her head, holding the majority of his weight.

Pulling back, Gibbs gazed down at Jenny beneath him, his eyes dark with desire. He never thought he'd be here again. As his mind caught up with his body, he leaned forward and kissed her slowly. He rested his forehead against hers, both still breathing heavily. "Want me to stop?" he whispered huskily, getting ready to head for the shower before he thought better of it.

Jenny swallowed heavily. She didn't even know if she could form words at the moment. All that stood out in the haze of desire was that they were both on the same page. They didn't want to rush each other. Smiling, she ran her hands down his chest. She looked up at him seductively from underneath her lashes and shook her head.

"No."

_**JIBBS**_

"I faked Mom's death."

Abby froze, her eyes going wide. She didn't need to ask who Amanda meant. She meant Jenny. Mom and Jenny were used interchangeably. Same with Gibbs. It was Jethro, Dad or Papa. But she couldn't… That would mean…

"Jenny didn't _die_."

Closing her eyes against the truths Amanda was trying to tell her, Abby whispered, "Tell me you didn't."

When she heard nothing from the brunette, her eyes snapped open. Abby jumped up, any tiredness leaving her body completely. She started pacing the floor, slightly unsteady in her platform boots. Tears forming in her eyes, Abby begged Amanda to take it all back. "No. You…you haven't been dealing with your Mom's death. This… This is… _No_. Mandy. Tell me…"

Abby stopped and turned to Amanda, oblivious to the fact that she was shaking. She gazed at her beseechingly, her eyes pleading with Amanda. However, the spook wasn't exactly sure what Abby wanted to hear right now.

Before Amanda could say anything, Abby continued at full speed, getting faster as she struggled to keep a handle on her composure. "Tell me I heard you wrong. Tell me this is a reaction to losing Jenny. Tell me you've lost it. Tell me _I've_ lost it. Tell me it isn't possible. That she's dead and people don't come back from the dead because they're dead, and dead people don't just reappear, no matter how much you want them to or how much you...no matter _how much_ you miss them."

By this point, both girls were crying. While Abby didn't seem to notice her tears, Amanda was angrily wiping hers away. Crying was a sign of weakness. And she'd cried _far too much_ in the last eight months. Abby could cry. Abby wore her heart on her sleeve. Abby had a reason to cry. Trying to keep her voice even, Amanda choked out, "Would SecNav bring you here if this was all a fake? If it was just me losing my grip on reality?"

Abby sunk down into the couch, afraid that her legs would give out and she would end up a crying mess on the floor. She was shaking her head in silent denial, completely torn. She wanted it to be true. More than _anything_ she wanted it to be true. But life didn't work like that. People don't come back from the dead. And then there were the consequences of if it was true. It would mean Amanda had lied to them…put Gibbs in danger…if everything was a _lie_…

"Why?" Abby finally whispered, refusing to look at Amanda. She had a funny feeling that, if she looked now, she would lose it completely. She couldn't even guess at what the justification was. Why would they put the team…themselves…_the family_, through that much torture?

"It was her call. She wanted to fake her death." Amanda admitted quietly, running a hand through her hair. Shrugging dejectedly, she added, "I made it happen. It was my decision to go along with it. I'm the one who did all the damage. I'm good at my job, Abs. You were never going to figure it out unless we told you, or you decided to go dig up the grave or something."

Abby nodded absentmindedly, part of her brain telling her to say something to Amanda. But she didn't know what to say. Besides, there were more pressing issues. Her feelings could wait…she had to figure them out first. Right now…she was numb. "Where is she now?"

"Directly above us." Amanda paused for a moment, before letting out a shaky laugh. Standing up and walking towards the window she chuckled, "_Really_ starting to hope that wasn't a bad idea."

Amanda stopped at the door in the window and opened it easily. Stepping outside onto the balcony, she smiled at the early morning breeze hit her. Draping her arms loosely along the railing, she looked out across the Thames. This was one of the views that looked good no matter when you looked at it. Her favourite was at night, when everything was lit up. The city never slept, just calmed down. The buzz that never really seemed to go away and the screeching sirens became a comfort after a while.

Which was why she stepped out onto the balcony. She needed to escape the silence.

Amanda didn't turn around when she heard Abby appear at the door. She could hear the hesitance in Abby's movements, the way she almost stepped back inside. She could almost hear the wheels turning in Abby's head, trying to put this all together. She wouldn't push Abby tonight, it wasn't fair.

.

It didn't surprise Amanda when Abby eventually walked out onto the balcony and mirrored her stance against the railing, muttering something about the view. _That_ was the Abby she knew. She'd just needed a little time to digest the information.

"What did you mean? You hope what wasn't a bad idea." Abby asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

Amanda laughed, and chanced a glace upwards. Repressing a shudder, she smiled, "Let me rephrase it. _Mom and Dad_ are directly above us. He hasn't left her side since we got here…you don't get that much privacy in a hospital room."

"Ewww!" Abby squealed, covering her ears and closing her eyes. She started shaking her head as she tried to rid herself of the mental picture Amanda's words had just created. "Did you _have_ to tell me th–" Abby froze as the meaning behind the words sunk in.

Grabbing onto the balcony as she felt the colour drain from her face, Abby turned to Amanda with panic in her eyes. She'd forgotten something vital. Something that was marring the fairytale happy ending that had begun playing out in her mind. When she'd been shot, Jenny was already dying. It was terminal. Incurable. A slow painful death. Fighting to keep the meal she'd had on the plane in her stomach, she desperately choked out, "_Mandy_?" and hoped that the brunette would understand her. She didn't think she'd be able to get anything else out.

Amanda turned to the Goth, initially confused by her reaction. However, as she ran her words through her head again, she picked up on the root of Abby's panic. Realization swept over her face as she hurriedly corrected Abby's assumption. "Oh God. No, she's fine Abs. That's why it took us eight months to let you guys in. C'mon I'll explain inside."

As Amanda was closing the door behind them, there was a soft knock on the door. Abby found herself being pushed into the master bedroom. She froze as she took in the surroundings. In the middle of the room was a massive king sized bed and all of her luggage was sitting on top of it. _Wow_. She frowned as she noticed there were more bags that there should be, but that thought quickly left her mind when she heard the safety click off Amanda's gun. _Where the hell did she get that from? _Abby spun around, worry lacing her features.

"Who is it?" Amanda asked, her voice showing no sign that she was worried…or that she was standing behind the door with a gun. She sounded _cheerful_.

"Amanda put the gun away." Ducky's exasperated voice drifted through the door, and the two girls looked at each other sheepishly. Amanda quickly put the gun back, and once her jacket was in place you wouldn't know it was there.

She opened the door to let her Uncle in, the sheepish grin still on her face. "Better safe than sorry. I thought you were off meeting with some old friends?"

"I have been 'off meeting old friends' for a few days. After I got your call I came straight back. John and I met for breakfast, you remember that little café just along from headquarters? They still do the best English breakfasts and –"

Amanda smiled at her uncle's ramblings, pleased to see that he was so at ease being back in his old territory. She really needed to fly him across more. "Ducky."

"Ah, yes, of course. You still work here." Ducky caught himself, and continued with his original point. "Anyway, he would like me to tell you that someone has killed Smith and that Black is on the run. The US Army is working with the Navy and the latest intelligence is going to end up with NCIS."

Amanda frowned, the warning clear in her head. The case would undoubtedly go to the MCRT, and without Gibbs at the helm there was a chance she would be tracked down for questioning. Or rather, their memory of Amanda Mallard standing in the bullpen with Ducky would war with the pictures of Aimée Jones meeting with rogue military men. "Did he say anything else?"

"_Ducky_!"

Before Ducky could answer, Abby had thrown herself into his arms. Ducky huffed slightly on impact, stepping back slightly to regain his balance. He shared a look with Amanda, the younger girl's look giving him all the information he needed. He gently patted Abby on the back, unable to move much due to the death grip she had on him. "It's nice to see you too Abigail."

Pulling back slightly, Abby admonished, "Don't joke about it Ducky, I was really worried. I had no idea what you three were up to. I –" Abby stopped when she heard something buzz, and looked around to see if she could find the source. When she saw Amanda slip silently head towards the glass doors and slip outside, she turned back to Ducky. "What's going on? Where's Jenny? When can I see her? Why isn't she in a hospital? What's happening with her and Gibbs? Are they coming home? Is Mandy okay? Why am I here? Ducky –"

Abby stopped when Ducky held up a hand to stop her flow of words. She took a deep breath, knowing that Ducky's next command would be 'Breathe'. She allowed him to pull her over to the couch, and watched him carefully as he took the chair facing the door. It took her a reason to realize what he was doing – ninety percent of threats would enter through the door.

"Jennifer is upstairs with Jethro. Their suite is across from mine and I can assure you that they are perfectly safe. You can see them when we go for lunch. They…they don't know that you are here yet. Jethro's nerves are probably shot as it is, so we decided to let them adjust to being outside of the confines of the hospital first. She isn't in a hospital anymore, because there is no need for her to be there anymore. She has been undergoing experimental treatment and it has managed to stop the mutation in the majority of the patients on the trial. There will be more check-ups and research into treatments, but for Jennifer the danger is over. She is going to live and any side effects seem to be minor."

"Side effects?" Abby squeaked, gripping the side of the sofa tightly. Lists of side effects from experimental treatments flashed through her mind. Hair loss. Depression. Insomnia. Fatigue. Loss of appetite. Weakened immune systems. Mood swings. The list went on, and Abby started to feel sick again. Jenny was alive, and that was the main thing. But at what cost? What had she and Amanda went through? And they did it alone…

"_Minimal_ side effects." Amanda emphasized as she re-entered the room. As she headed towards the door she continued explaining, "Her hair is fine. She's sleeping okay. She lost some weight. She doesn't have as much stamina or endurance as she used to, but that should come back in time. She gets tired faster. But that should change as well. The mood swings were never that bad." She opened the door to let Josh in, taking one of the bags he was carrying from him. As she headed towards the other bedroom, she added, "The only other thing was that kids could pose a problem. But she was never planning on having kids anyway."

Josh followed Amanda into the bedroom, avoiding the question Abby was about to aim at him. Deciding to pounce on him later, Abby turned back to Ducky. With visions of a Gibblet playing out in her mind's eye, Abby asked quietly, "She wasn't planning on having kids?"

Sighing, Ducky nodded. "Her condition was genetic and could be inherited. It killed her mother, and she was classed as at risk in her teens. There was a fifty-fifty chance she could develop the condition. She didn't want to die and leave her child motherless, nor did she want to risk passing the faulty gene on. It would have destroyed her if she was healthy but discovered the child wasn't. As far as she was concerned the disease would die with her."

"That's…" Abby trailed off, unsure of how to word it. Scary. Morbid. Sad. However, she didn't need to say anything, everyone in the room understood completely. Amanda and Josh sat down on the sofa next to Abby, ready to continue filling her in. "What about the other questions?"

"Yes they are coming home." Ducky continued, taking in Josh's disheveled appearance and the clear exhaustion on Abby's face. He decided to paraphrase the rest of it, and make sure that the three got some sleep before lunch. "We just have to go via Mexico first. You are here because SecNav decided to read you in. He remembered that Amanda felt guilty for lying to you. Jennifer and Jethro are back together, as I'm sure Amanda has already told you." Glancing at said spy he chuckled, "She was bouncing off the walls when she found out. And as for everything else – it can wait until lunch. You three need to get some sleep or you will be of no use to anyone."

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*hides behind door* So….? How was it? Abby's reaction has changed about six times since I started this fic…and I'm not too sure about the ending here. Next chapter should be lunch with Jenny and Gibbs as well as whats happening back in DC. Can't promise a quick update though, the prelims are nigh :/

Last Time **is now up. You get to see what exactly happened between Amanda and Abby to make them this close…well part of it.**

**HesMines x**


	18. Miss Jones

**Meant to put this up ages ago (i.e. start of March :$), but the story just kept going. I decided to split it into two chapters, and the next part should be up soon cos I'm just tweaking Abby and Jenny's reunion – it fits better there. …Don't think this is my best to be honest, but oh well *shrugs* going to put it down to all the dissertation I've been doing recently. **

**MatteaAM and Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs – your request is being worked on**

**Levana Fay – I haven't had a chance to catch up with your fics but I'm hoping to get to them soonish**

**Thanks to ****Tempe4Booth****, ****MatteaAM****, ****Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs****, ****KTMrshall**** (Happy Birthday hunnie! …how's Edward :P), ****DaniminaWhore****, ****Levana Fay**** and ****Babyshaq99**** for their reviews on the last chapter and to ****Tony and Ziva forever**** (I'm gonna kill a goat :P), ****Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs****, ****Dixie Dewdrop**** and ****DaniminaWhore**** for the reviews on Valentine XD**

**Disclaimer – Nope, still don't own it :(**

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Tony jumped as Ziva slammed her hand down on her desk.

"Why can't I find anything on her?" Ziva growled as yet another error message appeared on her screen. "Every time I get close, something happens! Everything we've found out, I already know. And _what_ is error five thousand and ninety six?"

Tony shifted back in his seat slightly. He was acutely aware of how frustrated the Israeli was becoming, having watched her spend hours searching fruitlessly for information. Every suggestion that she take a break was knocked back with a glare, much like the one he was receiving now. At the last error message she'd thrown her stapler at his head. He knew she wouldn't like the answer he was about to give her, so he answered hesitantly. "Well, generally, those are…um, printer errors. A couple of months ago, I had everything between five thousand and eighty five and six thousand. McTechy was about to lose it."

Ziva froze, and turned slowly in her chair to face the younger agent. "You are trying to tell me," she said slowly, enunciating every syllable. Tony moved further back, knowing this was only the calm before the storm. "that the only reason I cannot access the information on Amanda Mallard is because of a –"

"I've got something!" McGee spun around triumphantly, completely oblivious to Ziva's mood. When he locked eyes on her and the murderous glare she was giving him, he paled slightly and added, "Um, am I interrupting something?"

Rolling his eyes and standing up, Tony exclaimed, "Just spit it out McGee. Preferably before Zee-vah over here loses it."

McGee glanced at Ziva quickly before pressing a few buttons on his keyboard. Jumping to his feet he announced, "I managed to get access to Jenny's will –"

"Isn't that illegal?" Tony mused, trying to suppress a laugh. When he thought back to the Probie he'd met several years before it was like night and day. The old McGee would jump at the sound of Gibbs' voice, but now he didn't think twice about using his computer skills in less than legal ways. But it was still was fun to make him squirm.

Ignoring Tony's bait, McGee continued, "She changed it before she died. Several times actually. This," he pointed the clicker to the screen and pulled up a document, "is what it was at the time of her death."

He clicked again, zooming in on specific areas of the document. Tony and Ziva's eyes widened as they read the details, as well as the handwritten notes that had been added to the will. The lawyer's scrawl was hard to make out, but it got the point across.

After a few moments, McGee explained, "About two hours after she dismissed you two she changed it for the third time in as many months. She went to her lawyer's office in LA and pushed to have it finalized that day. In every version of her will, Amanda gets at fifty percent of the estate as well as a few specifics. But Jenny changed it so that everything was left to Amanda. They added some notes to her file with this change. Apparently, she seemed agitated and made sure she stayed out of sight of the windows. When they questioned her about her behavior, she said a friend had died and it gave her a better perspective on her own mortality."

"They suspected something was wrong?" Ziva asked without removing her eyes from the screen. Why would Jenny suddenly change her will? What was clear, however, was that Jenny was definitely prepared for the possibility that she would die that day.

"No, surprisingly. They put it down to a freak accident. What _is_ surprising is that nothing has been done in relation to the will." At his colleagues' confused gaze, McGee expanded. "After the funeral, everything was transferred into Amanda's name. There were a few changes, such as funeral costs and insurance payouts, but other than that," he shrugged, "everything is exactly as Jenny left it."

Tony studied the figures again, placing them into context. For a twenty year old girl, Amanda was worth a hell of a lot of money. But she hadn't touched it; everything just had her name on it. The changes had been minimal. As he ran them through his mind again, his eyes widened. "It's like Jenny could walk back into her life tomorrow."

"Vance wants to see you all in his office." They turned around to see Cynthia leaning casually against the partition. She smiled slightly in reassurance, knowing that the team was feeling the empty space left by their boss. Tony could only do so much to fill Gibbs' shoes, much like Vance with Jenny's. There wasn't anything wrong with the new Director…he just wasn't Jenny. And Tony wasn't Gibbs.

Muttering their thanks, they sprung into action. Cynthia's appearance had stopped any further discussion of the previous topic. McGee hastily clicked again, making all traces of the will disappear and leaving only the blurry security picture of Amanda. The three agents headed towards the stairs, McGee and Ziva falling into step behind DiNozzo. Cynthia paused for a moment, then called after them, "There's something else you need to know!" When they stopped and turned around she continued, almost apologetically, "I'm glad Gibbs isn't here. Lieutenant Colonel Mann is back."

Cynthia watched as the three agents stiffened slightly, their expressions becoming guarded. With a tight nod from Tony, they carried on. Shaking her head, Cynthia turned back to the bullpen. They were all turning into Gibbs, no matter what anyone said….not that many people disagreed. Her eyes swept over the empty space before resting on Gibbs' empty desk.

It was amazing the difference one little thing could make. Gibbs was one of the few constants in this job. Excluding his trip to Mexico, Gibbs was always there when she got in and always there when she left. No exceptions. She had clung to that sense of normality after Jenny's death. NCIS just wasn't the same without Gibbs being growly over something, or head slapping Tony or intimidating, well, anyone really. Yes, he had made her job that little bit harder. But he broke the monotony of the day, and was a welcome distraction from uptight politicians.

His absence was a tangible feeling, much like Jenny's still was. The only difference was that Gibbs would come back.

Sighing softly, Cynthia decided to grab some coffee before returning to her desk, opting to walk through the bullpen rather than around it. As she passed, she couldn't help her instinctive glance towards the plasma. It was always good to know whether or not they had a lead, because it usually determined Gibbs' mood. However, she froze as she recognized the girl in the grainy picture.

_Jenny stormed back into the office, muttering angrily under her breath. Cynthia looked up from her work in concern, and glanced quickly at the girl in the chair opposite. It was her job to make sure that the Director had her privacy, but angrily muttering in French in her outer office couldn't be hidden._

"_What did he do this time?" the girl sighed without looking up from her novel. She dog-eared her page before looking up and adding, "Should I reschedule dinner so we can go home and you can blow off some steam first?"_

_When Cynthia looked back to Jenny, the redhead suddenly looked so much happier. There was still some anger and frustration left over from her hectic day and argument with Gibbs, but the smile on her face and the light in her eyes that suddenly appeared made all the difference._

_Jenny looked at the her for a moment before answering quietly, "Ducky told me about the argument with your Grandma. I thought she wanted you to spend Mothers Day with your real mother."_

_Amanda placed her book back in her bag and shook her head sadly. "Grandma doesn't get it." She stood up gracefully and smiled, "As far as I'm concerned, my mom has just spent God knows how long in MTAC and deserves a break. Tonight the Director is staying in the office while Mom comes to dinner."_

_**JIBBS**_

"We're fine with you taking the lead. Technically I shouldn't even be on this case, but I want this guy. The balls in your court, Director, I'm merely here to assist."

Hollis stood in front of Vance's desk, glancing between the seated director and the standing team. She could have cut the tension in the room with a knife, and once again thanked whatever powers were out there that she didn't have to face Gibbs. The team's reaction to her had been frosty at best. No one other than DiNozzo had spoken, and even then his responses had been short and to the point. They wouldn't even look at her anymore than they had to.

McGee had offered a smile as they had entered the room, but had quickly busied himself with looking anywhere but her. Ziva had entered with a glare and it had only become more pronounced as the meeting lengthened. Hollis couldn't blame her – the Israeli had been like a sister to Jenny and probably knew a lot more about the past than the two men. Tony had been imitating Gibbs. Blank expression, focused on the case, barely sparing her a glace.

_Yes_, she thought, _that's Jethro all over. Ignoring the problem even though it's staring him in the face._

There were a lot of problems with the case. It had gone on far too long, so SecDef wasn't concerned about petty jurisdiction disputes. As far as he was concerned, they had to work together. Army CID had already failed to achieve justice, so NCIS would take the lead.

A marine and a solider had been selling on weapons that were supposed to be destroyed. Why make a small profit selling weapons from one institution when you could make more by joining forces. The suspect list had been shortened to three potential partners, but they couldn't get any further. That was, however, until Lieutenant Smith turned up with a bullet in his head. That identified which pair was committing the crimes, but it didn't do any more than that. Petty Officer Black was on the run. They still didn't know who killed Smith or where their latest shipment was headed.

"Have you looked at this Intel?" Vance's voice pulled Hollis out of her reverie. She would have time to mull this over later, right now she had a case to finally close.

Without missing a beat, she turned back to Vance and answered, "No, sir. I…Jethro would have kicked up hell if I had, so I didn't. Like I said, it's your ball. However, I do know a lot of the background." She glanced down at the file in her hands, her original case notes. Everything to do with this case was in there. She hadn't been totally honest with Vance. She had read the notes that went with the Intel, she just hadn't looked at the visual stuff. If she was working with Gibbs' team again she would need some kind of leverage to ensure that they kept her in the loop. "MI5 were keeping tabs on a French arms dealer known as Angel when they picked up on Smith and Black. Because they set off the warning bells, they were put under surveillance. The British only decided to _share_ their information when Smith turned up dead."

"That's nothing new. Agencies can keep secrets from each other for years, waiting for the cases to overlap before reading each other in." Vance answered, almost on autopilot. Inter-agency secrecy was nothing new to him. He picked up the USB stick from the file in front of him and studied it for a moment. Seemingly finding the answers he needed in the black plastic, he plugged it into his computer and pulled the file up. Clicking on the first file, he said, "Well, the best place to start is always the beginning." The room remained silent as a video loaded.

"_She's at table six." The English woman inclined her head towards something out of sight of the camera before moving on and greeting the next customer. As the operative turned around, they began to get a clearer view of the surroundings. Even from the grainy video, it was clear that this was a posh restaurant. The waiter headed towards a circular table surrounded by seven people. _

_The two men facing the camera were Black and Smith – their prime suspect and their dead guy – flanked by two hulking men in dark suits. Black kept throwing anxious glances towards the massive form next to him, as if he expected the bodyguard to strike at any moment. It was clear from their posture and build that the two men were there as protection, not potential clients. They were separating the marine and the soldier from the three people with their backs to the camera. _

_The younger of the men turned as he heard the waiter approach, and fixed the unknown man with a glare. Tony stiffened as he recognized the man, somewhat surprised to see him without his usual trench coat. "I think you should come back in a few minutes." _

"_Ah, Trent, you should not be so hasty." The familiar French voice floated through the speakers, sending a chill down the team's spines. It was like the Frenchman was back from the dead. Turning to face the waiter, __La__Grenouille added almost apologetically, "You will have to excuse my associate, he is new and inexperienced in these matters. They do things…differently where he comes from. I'll have the Scotch."_

_Benoit, ignoring the look of disgust that crossed the CIA agent's face, turned to the young brunette by his side. She was the only woman at the table and from what they could see she was the youngest by approximately fifteen years. She couldn't be any older than eighteen, but that was only going by the back of her head, her dress and the small strip of face they could see__. "And you, chérie?"_

_Without looking up from her menu, the girl answered automatically, "Bourbon." Her accent was less prominent than René's, more of a soft lilt than anything else. Turning around to give the waiter a dazzling smile she added, "Neat."_

"Stop it there!" The order was out of Tony's mouth before he could process what was going on. As Vance clicked the button to stop the playback, Tony felt his heart rate speed up. He turned to look at Ziva and McGee, only to see that they were wearing identical expressions of shock. When he locked eyes with McGee, he saw a trace of horror and fear too despite the fact the younger agent was desperately trying to hide it. He wanted to offer McGee some sort of reassurance, but couldn't find the words. His brain was having enough trouble processing the image on the screen.

It wasn't as bad for the playboy. He knew that Ziva had associated with a lot of unsavory characters in the past, and probably still did. He wasn't sure what his exact feelings towards Ziva were yet, but that didn't mean he would be comfortable with her meeting up with them. He might not like it, but he expected it. As for Abby…

If McGee's feelings for Abby were half of what his were for Ziva then the poor guy would be having a coronary right about now. Abby didn't associate with arms dealers and she _didn't_ protect them. Sure, some of her friends were questionable, but they weren't _criminals_.

"Would someone _please_ tell me what is so important about this girl?" Vance demanded after the silence had lengthened. Tony turned to answer the question, but the words died in his throat as he caught the look on Hollis' face. She stared unblinkingly at the picture on the screen, shock and disbelief flitting across her face. She knew who that was, and she knew the significance of what they'd just seen.

"That's Amanda." As something close to triumph flashed in her eyes, Hollis spun around to face Vance. Evenly, she stated, "To all intents and purposes, she's Jethro's daughter."

**[DUN]**

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Well, that's it up. Part two should be up soonish! Going to the X Factor Live Tour tomorrow night, so the next chapter will def be up by then!

**HesMines xx**


	19. I Missed You

**This was meant to be up last night, but it didn't. This also wasn't meant to go over 3,000 words but its sitting at over 4,000…oops! I haven't read the reviews yet, so thanks! You'll get your replies after this chapter. MatteaAM and Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs – this isn't your request, but hopefully the slight Jibbs will do until I can get it finished and posted. **

**The X Factor was amazing! :D I lost my voice from screaming so much! Got my One Direction *screams* T-shirt, Matt *melts* and Aiden *grins* were great, as was everyone else – so yeah it was a great night! Wagner x3**

**Still don't own it! **

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"So what do we have?" Vance asked as he stood in the middle of the bullpen, ready for the update. They had decided that the most pressing matter at that moment in time was Amanda, or whoever she was, and whether or not she posed a threat to NCIS. He was proud to see that the team was handling this development like the professionals they were. Gibbs had done well. Very few teams would be able to function this well without their leader.

Ziva, McGee and Tony were standing facing the screen, all business. Jimmy had ventured up from Autopsy to hear the debriefing. After all, he was just as much of a part of this team as the others. He just played a different role. He thought back to all those team-building courses he'd been forced to take over the years and wondered what exactly Belbin would make of 'Team Gibbs'.

After the revelation in his office, the team had continued looking through the Intel. After that meeting, Amanda appeared three times; twice to introduce the men to her contacts, once to view a shipment of weapons. However, there wasn't anything they could convict her with as she had, technically, done nothing wrong other than associate with known arms dealers. Her lawyers would dismantle the case in no time.

Deciding to start with the basics, Tony stood up and pointed the clicker at the screen. Pulling up the CCTV footage from before and the still from the video he began. "Her name is Aimée Jones, code name Angel. She first met Black and Smith almost a year ago, which we saw in the footage. The last time she met them was in Paris about nine months ago. She's the daughter of two French arms dealers, Sophie and Jacques Jones, who head an arms group known as the Grigori –"

At this, Ziva cut in. "It is the Christian term for a group of fallen angels who mated with human females and created a race of hybrids."

From his desk, McGee added, "Which is very appropriate. She's Angel, and according to MI5, a lot of the higher ups are ex-something. 'Fallen angels' describes them perfectly." Typing quickly McGee pulled up two more images. "It's almost impossible to find up to date IDs for any of the Jones'. Their files are locked by MI5. I could access them, but they would be on top of me in seconds. It wasn't worth the risk, so Ziva called one of her contacts in London. We'll have to go by surveillance footage for now, but to be honest I've seen better pictures of Sasquatch. Aimée's parents are known as _Le_ _Renard_ and _Rêve_ _Noir_ which mean…" He looked at Ziva, silently asking her to translate again. French had never been one of his strong points, and he knew he had butchered the two names.

Hollis cut across Ziva from her position next to McGee's desk. She had her back to the younger agent, so she missed his glance to Ziva. She thought he was trailing off and decided to jump in before she was pushed out of the briefing completely. "The first one is the husband and it means 'The Fox'. The second one is the woman and it literally means 'Black Dream', which doesn't make sense in English. Nightmare would be more appropriate, because that's what they're trying to imply."

She stopped after her explanation, expecting someone to jump in and continue. When the silence dragged on more than a moment, she looked between Tony and Vance. Misreading their guarded expressions, she added, "We tried to get to the top of the Grigori a couple of years back. We couldn't locate anyone. It was like they disappeared into thin air."

Ziva leveled Hollis with a glare, daring the older woman to continue. When the blonde fell silent, Ziva growled, "Nightmare would be '_cauchemar'_."

Walking up to the screen and crossing her arms across her chest, Ziva carefully studied the blurry picture of Sophie Jones. Her head was angled away from the camera, so all you could make out was her black hair and sunglasses. She was wrapped in a long tan coat, protection against the cold Paris winter. It surprised Ziva that she didn't know of the woman, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something familiar about her.

"Her name is _Rêve_ _Noir_ and is meant to be taken literally. She is not implying that she is someone's worst nightmare. It is a description of her character. _She_ is the dream, but she is 'black'. Dark, impure, tainted, whatever you want to take it as. It is a warning, but not in the way you mean it." She looked away from the screen and locked eye with Tony, trying to convey the meaning better than she could with words. "This is much more subtle."

McGee looked between Tony and Ziva, trying to decipher the hidden meaning in their look. When he saw Tony incline his head slightly in understanding, he tried to push away the images of Jenny and Gibbs that suddenly appeared before his eyes. Coughing to draw the attention back to him he added, "Yeah, that. Unlike her parents Aimée's codename is in English, but that's probably the only difference between them. She appeared from nowhere about two years ago. I have a feeling she was there before that, but she was so well protected she didn't throw up any warnings. According to Ziva's contacts…she normally deals with the big fish –"

"- which is expected. Her parents run the show." Tony spoke up, leaning back against his desk. Now they were getting somewhere. The big questions that needed answered. "She'll probably take over at some point. So the question is –"

Tony looked over to McGee, signaling for him to pick up the rest of the sentence. With a nod, McGee finished, " – why she was meeting with our marine? Her last known whereabouts was a hotel in Paris about eight months ago. The trail goes cold after that. Anything after that is an unconfirmed sighting or more pictures of Big Foot." He pulled up a calendar, and resisted the urge to laugh as Ziva stole the clicker from Tony.

"The blanks in Amanda's movements mostly coincide with Aimée's more active periods." Ziva pressed a button and the calendar began to light up in different colours, illustrating what she'd just said. "We are looking into the possibility of a third alias for the times where there are still blanks. The most noticeable being several large chunks of time in the last eight months." She clicked again pulling certain dates to the forefront. She turned to Vance with a shrug as she added, "There are times when both Amanda _and_ Aimée are completely off the radar."

"So what was she doing in the eight months between leaving Paris and arriving here?" Vance nodded in agreement and walked towards the screen, his expression hard. He had picked up on something during the briefing that he was sure had not occurred to his agents. He just hoped he was wrong. "Is there anything that could link Ducky to her activities?"

Jimmy was the first to react. His head snapped towards Vance as he gasped, "What?"

"That girl is clearly Amanda Mallard, yet Aimée Jones is a prominent member in many arms dealing circles." He looked between the agents surrounding him before stating, "Could Ducky have something to do with this?"

Tony was next to recover. He pushed away from the desk and moved to join Vance in front of the screen. He half-laughed as he protested, "C'mon. Sir. it's Ducky! He's as much of a traitor as Abby."

The idea was laughable. It was Ducky. He was the Scotsman who rambled about his youth in Britain and his experiences in the Medical Corps. He was a walking talking encyclopedia. He wouldn't be involved in anything like this.

Vance, however, seemed unfazed. He turned to DiNozzo and stated evenly, "Yet your first reaction when Abby was revealed as the mole was shock then denial." He watched as the younger man flinched at the memory, ashamed that they doubted their 'little sister'. The same principle applied here. "He is in a position of trust, you can't buy his credibility. I don't think he would abuse it, but it is not beyond the realms of possibility."

Hollis recounted her limited experience with the medical examiner, and found that she could begin to see where Vance was coming from. Tentatively, she re-entered the conversation, "He's well learned, and well travelled. I'd say he's seen a lot more than he lets on."

Tony's head snapped towards the blonde as he shouted in exasperation, "We're not going to drag Ducky into this with no evidence! You sound like you've already decided he's guilty of something. Right now, all we can be sure he is guilty of is sharing the same bloodline. If that's how we're doing things now, you better lock me and Ziva up right now."

Silence followed his declaration as everyone awaited the next move. There was no doubt that the team and Jimmy would defend Ducky until the end. Hollis was sure they would stand by him even if he was found to have had something to do with the arms dealing.

Vance studied Tony carefully before conceding, "DiNozzo, see if you can find a lead on the parents. Ziva, keep doing what you're doing. Find surveillance on any member of the Jones family. McGee, find out what the hell Gibbs is doing…this could be bigger than we thought."

With that he turned on his heel and headed towards his office. Hollis seemed to debate with herself on the next move, and when Vance reached the stairs she ran after him. There was no way the team would even listen to her theory.

McGee muttered something and picked up his phone. He glanced at the others before adding, "Nothing like being ambiguous. What did you mean by you _and_ Ziva?"

Tony sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face wearily. Leaning back against his desk he answered, "Daddy DiNozzo is a crook in his own right. And on my Mom's mom's side...let's say I have a few cousins who wanted to join the Mafia as soon as possible…" Tony took a deep breath and pushed himself off the table, suddenly feeling like a jack-in-the-box. He paced for a few moments, aware of the looks of concern he was receiving from the others he suddenly asked, "Okay, what _do_ we know about Ducky that might link him in here...I don't want Vance to be right, but I think it's worth looking into."

McGee looked thoughtful as he carefully answered, "He _has_ mentioned a nephew. Something about a piñata...he would never say anything else though. Only that he and his sister didn't get along. That must be Amanda's dad." He sat up straighter as the person on the other end of the line answered, and quietly informed security of a possible breach.

Ziva settled against her desk next to Jimmy and shrugged. "He was in the Royal Medical Corps. He did a tour in Vietnam. He was in Afghanistan during the Soviet Invasion and Bosnia during the Balkan conflict." These were all facts that had come up during her initial research into the team. There was nothing inconsistent about them though. If Ducky was been involved in anything back then, someone had set up a very good cover and had done one hell of a clean-up. She turned to Jimmy, acutely aware of the fact that the young man was possibly their best source of information. He had not been with the team as long as Tony or McGee, and he had not carried out a background check, but he did spend the most time with Ducky. He would have listened to more stories and picked up on more snippets of information than anyone. Except maybe Gibbs.

Jimmy looked thoughtful as he answered the unasked question. "Doctor Mallard and Victoria both speak several languages. I was helping Dr. Mallard bring some things over here, and Victoria was in the kitchen. She was making lunch and didn't know I was there. She must have thought I was him because she turned around, saying something in a language I didn't understand. When she saw it was me it was like flicking a switch. One minute she was a normal old lady, the next it was the crazy Mrs. Mallard who threatens to stab you with a knife. Dr. Mallard said it was the dementia, and that they had moved around a lot while his parents were still married. He was very convincing...but I'm still not so sure."

Tony nodded in agreement, understanding completely. Remembering the day he had spent guarding Mrs. Mallard he muttered, "She _is_ very fast for her age." His eye widened as he remembered some long-forgotten fact. Snapping his fingers together he exclaimed, "When he was eighteen his granddad gave him a EuroRail pass or something. I remember him saying he visited nine different countries that summer and that he fell in love with an Austrian girl called Giselle."

"That is a ballet, Tony." Ziva laughed softly and shook her head. Her eyes were soft as she corrected him, not having the heart to chastise him for the simple mistake. Her look, however, did not go unnoticed by McGee or Jimmy, who exchanged an amused glance. Those two were oblivious to their feelings – Tommy and Lisa were making more progress.

Tony glanced at Ziva, but continued as if he had not been interrupted. "_Anyway_, that would explain the languages. Vietnam, Bosnia, Afghanistan, nine European countries. I'd say Ducky would've loved that challenge. What else?"

McGee put down his phone and rejoined the conversation. "It runs in the family. His Uncle Monty was a Major. Doesn't Ducky say something about him complaining about the wine being overrated during the D-Day landing?"

Jimmy added thoughtfully, "Gertrude used to sit naked at the table. Another uncle drowned in a vat of alcohol and his aunt Gloria tried to sleep with his father. Dysfunctional runs in the family too. That would explain why she could become so close to Gibbs and…and the Director."

The team lapsed into silence. Even in this conversation they had brought up aspects of Ducky's past that were shaky if you put them under too much pressure. It would be easy to twist what they knew and turn Ducky from the man they knew into someone who supported his niece's criminal activities. Possibly even participated in them.

_I am not unfamiliar with the discourtesies of the spy game but there are certain liberties you do not take and if you do you have to tell the other person as soon as you can._

He didn't exactly seem ill at ease when he was pretending to be Harrow, and when they were trying to catch Lee his reaction was not what they would have expected from the medical examiner. He had seemed resigned. Unsurprised. Indignant. At the time, Tony had just put it down to Ducky being in on the plan. But what if he was more familiar with the 'spy game' than they thought.

For all they knew about Ducky, there was just as much of his past shrouded in mystery.

Tony looked at the other as he whispered the thought that was on all their minds. "Do you think Gibbs knew?"

McGee sighed, and reluctantly admitted, "I don't know. But Ducky had to know what she was up to."

"I think we're missing something." Jimmy insisted, his eyes glued to the two images on the screen. One was the girl who had taken away half their 'family' in a whirlwind, the other was an international arms dealer. It was impossible for them to be the same person. "You said it when Abby was accused of treason – she wouldn't do that kind of thing. It's the same here. Gibbs wouldn't protect an arms dealer, and I don't think Ducky would either. Would an arms dealer would let his daughter get that close to anyone anyway?" He looked apologetically at Tony, knowing the double meaning that his friend would pick up in the words. Amanda's relationship with Gibbs was no different to Tony's with Jeanne. Essentially they were different as Tony's had a romantic element, but there were a lot of overlapping issues.

Dads were protective of their daughters. Arms dealer fathers had more power to back them up. Le Renard would want his daughter to continue the family business and have her loyalty lie with _him_. That wouldn't happen if she was 'to all intents and purposes' Gibbs' daughter. Tony was taking Jeanne away from her father, and La Grenouilleintervened. Jimmy couldn't see Le Renard not following the same pattern.

Ziva shook her head sadly, "You can't help what you love. If you pretend to be someone long enough then they become real. Reacting to their life becomes second nature. If Aimée has been pretending to be Amanda for so long, for her, Amanda will be real. If Gibbs and Ducky have been overlooking Aimée for years, then they will only see Amanda." She knew what she was talking about, she had been there. That was why deep cover missions were so dangerous. You forgot who 'you' were. And as for her first point – she still loved her father, even though she probably shouldn't.

Jimmy sighed, realizing that arguing this point was futile. "Okay, you're right. But I still think we're missing something important. I just don't have a clue what it is."

_**JIBBS**_

"Ignore it." Jenny murmured as she trailed kisses along Gibbs' jaw.

The rational part of her mind knew that she should let Gibbs answer his phone. It might be important. It might be Amanda. Their 'daughter' could be calling to demand they get their backsides back to the hospital. World War Three could be taking place right outside their hotel and armed tanks could be ambling down the street. Arthur's Seat could have exploded and lava could be rushing down Princes Street, although what relevance that had to her or London she didn't know. Other than the fact one of her favourite restaurants probably didn't exist anymore.

However, the irrational part of her brain was telling the rational part to shut up. Obama could be calling and she would still let it ring. All that mattered right now was the fact that Gibbs was underneath her and that his hands didn't stop doing what they were doing.

It seemed like he was thinking along the same lines as her irrational voice because he growled in agreement and flipped her over so that he was on top. Jenny moaned as he pulled her lips back to his. He knew exactly what he did to her, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Not if there were more nights like last night.

They'd _tried_ to be good. They'd _started_ to get dressed and head back to the hospital. But, Jenny had walked into the bathroom at the wrong moment and they'd ended up back in bed. An hour ago. They really should get up.

Part of her mind registered that the dull buzzing had stopped, but she groaned at the shrill ring that followed a moment later. That was it, she decided, one of the tigers at London Zoo had escaped and was currently prowling outside their door.

Gibbs swore as he rolled away from her, accepting that he had no other choice but to answer the phone. Grabbing the receiver off the bedside table he barked, "What!" while trying to even out his breathing. The room was quiet enough that Jenny could hear Ducky's words.

"Jethro, put Jennifer down. You have about four minutes before you have to answer the door to your daughters."

Jenny froze as the meaning of Ducky's words suck into her brain.

_Four and a half minutes before you have to answer the door to your daughters._

_Four and a half minutes._

_Your daughters._

_**Daughters**__. _

_Plural._

She'd rather take her chances with the tiger.

_**JIBBS**_

"Breathe, Abs." Amanda looked over her shoulder and smiled at the Goth. The normal bubbly, confident girl had been replaced by a nervous wreck. After they had been sent to bed, Amanda had slept for a little over two hours. She'd just ordered room service when Abby woke up crying, believing that everything had been a dream. Abby had been distraught, truly believing that her subconscious had pulled that kind of trick on her. She hadn't even realized that she wasn't in her own room, far less the brunette trying to stop the sobs.

Once Amanda had convinced Abby that it wasn't a dream, it had been all they could do to stop the Goth from marching upstairs and demanding to see Jenny. An hour later, once Abby had eaten something and freshened up, they found themselves outside of the studio suite. And Abby seemed to have lost her nerve.

"Are you sure they're awake?" Abby answered, turning to Amanda and wringing her hands nervously, "I don't want to wake them up. We could be interrupting something. They –"

"Ducky called ahead, Abs," Amanda sighed, knocking on the door before Abby could bolt for the lift. "It's me!" Turning back around she added carefully, "I know why you're scared Abs, but there's nothing to worry about. She's not mad at you. And chances are, she's sitting on the other side of the door, just as apprehensive."

When they were in the elevator, Abby had suddenly been struck by the thought that Jenny would hate her. Hate her because she hadn't figured the truth out, upset because the team had attempted to move on. They were failing, but they had still tried. And no amount of reassurance for Amanda, Ducky and Josh would help. They could tell her that that had been the plan all along until they were blue in the face, but Abby was convinced otherwise. She needed the reassurance that only their mother could give, so without a second thought Amanda had dragged Abby upstairs, inclining her head towards the ceiling so that the two men knew to call ahead.

Just as Amanda got the feeling that Abby was going to run, the door opened to reveal a fully presentable Gibbs. _He __**so**__ just got dressed._

Amanda anticipated Abby's next move and quickly moved to the side to avoid getting caught up in the hug. Or to avoid getting thrown out of the way. Whichever happened first.

Abby threw herself into Gibbs' arms and he caught her easily. As he hugged Abby, Amanda and Gibbs shared a look over the Goth's head. They were appraising each other, making sure that the other was okay. Or rather, that the other wasn't in any immediate danger. It had started with Gibbs being fatherly and overprotective when she was younger and would fall off her bike, but once the missions started it became serious. And after Paris and Russia, she picked up the habit.

After Gibbs looked her over and had assured himself that she was okay, he placed a kiss to the side of Abby's head. Abby was clinging to him, making sure that he was really there and trying to fight off the remnants of the nightmare that sill danced around the edge of her consciousness. Gibbs would chase the monsters away.

Gibbs looked back to Amanda and moved his eyes back towards the room in a silent message. _Jenny's the same._

Amanda bit her lip, thinking for a moment before she inclined her head towards the elevator. _We should leave them to it. Best without an audience._

Gibbs nodded, and carefully stepped out of Abby's embrace. Smiling encouragingly, he managed to maneuver out of the doorway without opening it any further. When he stood next to Amanda and looked at Abby expectantly, the Goth looked at the floor. She wasn't sure if she could do this anymore. What if…

"I can do this." Abby whispered as she turned towards the door. She had to do this. Jenny was on the other side of the door. Jenny who was like a mother to her. Jenny who had been gone for eight months. Jenny who Abby didn't think she would see again until her own death. "I can do this."

Abby slowly pushed the door open and slipped into the room. She didn't look up until she heard the door click underneath her hands. Taking a deep breath, she turned towards the presence she could sense in the room and raised her head. However, when she locked eyes with Jenny she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.

Jenny was standing there, less than six feet away, in front of a hastily made bed, clearly alive and breathing. Her hair was longer and a bit unruly. She'd lost weight. She was wearing jeans, a vest top and a large shirt which Abby was sure belonged to Gibbs. She was barefoot, looking smaller and less intimidating without her usual six inch stilettos.

The picture was far from perfect, but it was real. _She_ was real.

"Hey, Abs." Jenny whispered, talking a small step towards the Goth. Hearing Jenny's voice pushed Abby over the edge, making the younger woman lose her grip on her composure.

_Sometimes things aren't so simple, Abby. Sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality in front of you and accept it._ The look on Jenny's face that day in her lab suddenly appeared in front of her, and it opened the dam on the memories Abby had spent so long trying to suppress.

_Crime scene pictures from the diner. Jenny's bloodstained shirt. Crying in her lab with McGee. Sitting in her apartment after the funeral, just staring into space as she cried. The looks on Tony and Ziva's faces when they returned from LA. The look on Gibbs' face every day for the last eight months. Amanda falling to pieces during the funeral._

The tears that had been threatening to spill over since she had walked into the room finally won, and Abby let out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

Instinctively, Jenny opened her arms, "Abby…" She wasn't worried about whether or not Abby hated her for the stunt she'd pulled, all she cared about was stopping the tears. Jenny wasn't delusional - she knew that Abby would have been a lot worse in the aftermath of her death. She wasn't there then, she had been in a coma, but she was here now. She could offer the comfort and reassurance that the girl so desperately needed.

Needing no more invitation, Abby threw herself into Jenny's arms and gave into the tears. She clung to Jenny as the sobs wracked her body, finally letting everything out. She hadn't cried like this since the week following the funeral. She cried out of sheer relief, because of the images currently flying through her head, because she missed her Mom, because she felt like a failure for not figuring out sooner…

"You're alive," Abby whispered through the tears, her voice barely audible. "You're not dead…"

Jenny shook her head, looking towards the ceiling trying to keep her own tears in check. Abby was always going to be the hardest reunion. "I'm not dead. I'm right here."

This, however, only made the Goth cry harder. Pulling her tighter in her embrace, Jenny muttered reassurances and whispered soothingly, consoling Abby in the way that only a mother could. It didn't matter that they didn't share a bloodline. It didn't matter that they looked nothing alike. They were family. Abby had seen to that a long time ago.

Once the tears had slowed, and Abby began to regain control of herself, Jenny lead her over to the edge of the bed. The last thing she needed was for Abby to collapse. However, when Jenny tried to move away so that she could crouch in front of Abby, the younger woman tightened her grip.

_If we were related she'd get that from me._ Jenny mused as she tried to maneuver herself into a sitting position next to Abby. _Actually, they both have my death grip._

"It's okay, I'm here." Jenny whispered, rubbing Abby's arm soothingly. She knew it would take more than words to dismiss Abby's fears, and she had a feeling she would always be in Abby's line of sight for a while, but it was the best that she could do for the time being.

Time was on her side again.

All thoughts of time were wiped from her mind at Abby's next words. Tearfully, she admitted, "I missed you…"

* * *

**HesMines xx**


	20. Warning

**Not entirely sure of how good this chapter actually is, but between this chapter, essays and my dissertation, I have spent a lot of time over the last few months staring at word documents going 'I don't have a clue'. What can I say? Writers block and exams suck :/ The impromptu hiatus wasn't planned, real life and everything that comes with it kinda got on top of me. When your problems in real life start drifting over into your writing, you know it's time to take a break.**

**John is not important to the overall story. He's not the head of the agency, but he's the guy that Amanda's boss answers too. I had to name him because, well, it awkward not to.**

"We need to go into my office. Now."

Amanda spoke as soon as the lifts door closed. Her tone was detached and even, suddenly signaling to Gibbs that something was wrong. While the rational part of his mind reasoned that Amanda wouldn't leave Jenny unprotected if there was a threat, his gut and her actions suggested otherwise. Without removing her eyes from the wooden paneling, she continued, "Your team found out about Aimée. We're trying to head off the witch hunt before it starts, but I decided to up the timescale. We're moving her tonight."

Gibbs glanced up at the digital number that indicated their floor. He guessed they had about thirty seconds before the doors opened and they'd slip back into the façade of father and daughter enjoying a break from reality. "What does Josh think?"

There were two reasons behind that question. The first was simple. Josh was Jenny's doctor. To work with MI6, he _had_ to be good. And he'd essentially saved Jenny's life – that earned him a lot of brownie points in Gibbs' book. While Gibbs himself hated the profession, he respected the younger man's talent. He didn't want to move Jenny if Josh thought it would be detrimental to her health. The second was a little more complicated. He didn't want Amanda to make the same mistakes he and Jenny had. Which, loosely translated, meant he'd give her hell if she tried to run this operation behind her boyfriend's back. They were living proof of what happens when you hide things from your partner – a lack of trust and a whole lot of issues to resolve.

Besides, it wouldn't hurt to have an extra body on hand. Medical degree or not, Josh was still a trained spy.

As the door opened, Amanda smirked and admitted, "Josh doesn't know," before sweeping out of the lift.

Gibbs sighed before following her out of the lift. Even with Kelly, he'd hated playing the bad guy. He was pretty sure that being a father to a normal teenage girl wasn't this hard. Amanda's problems couldn't be solved by a hug, some crying and hot chocolate.

"Aimée," Gibbs called as she headed towards the door.

"_What_!" she hissed as she spun around on her heel to face him. He didn't miss the hurt that flashed behind her eyes when he called her the wrong name. However, she took the hint and had switched to French.

He merely raised an eyebrow at her behaviour, silently telling her to calm down. She seemed to get the message when she suddenly deflated and headed over towards the lounge. Without a word, Gibbs sat onto the sofa beside her. The area was mostly deserted, with only a young couple sitting by the bar.

"Okay, you're right. I need to calm down." Amanda conceded after a long moment, returning to English. However, Aimée's accent was still in place. She turned to look Gibbs in the eye as she continued. "I know I shouldn't expect you to jump just because I say so, but you need to trust me on this one, _Papa._" Ever since the Operation Athena, Papa had been her favourite term of endearment for Gibbs. "I'm _good_ at what I do. I always plan four steps ahead, just like chess, just like you told me to. Thing is, I've known about your team for a few hours. I'm already six steps ahead, and I plan on putting even more distance between us."

Gibbs didn't make any change to his expression as he digested her words. While she hadn't revealed much, it was enough to make his gut churn more than it already was. His team was one of the best, but sometimes he felt more like a high school principal than a boss. They were most likely shaken by Abby's sudden disappearance, so right now they would be vulnerable. Which meant they were dangerous.

While that issue was worrying, there wasn't much he could do about it from the other side of the world. Not without raising suspicion. Deciding to wait and see what kind of plan Amanda had to deal with it, he voiced his first concern. "What about Josh?"

Amanda bit her lip and looked down at her hands. She genuinely didn't know the answer. She knew he didn't entirely agree with releasing Jenny from the hospital, so moving her to Mexico in a few hours would not go down well. After a long moment she shrugged and sighed, "I'll fill him in when he needs to know." When she saw Gibbs make to interrupt, she hastily added, "If I don't give him a viable course of action, he'll block me. He might be my boyfriend, but the doctor always seems to win his inner battles. It can be annoying as hell, but then I remember that's what Ducky's like and all my arguments go out the window."

Seeming to accept that answer, Gibbs looked away from Amanda and looked around the lounge. It looked clear, but then again he hadn't really expected anything else from Amanda. Especially not when he recognized the young woman at the bar – her name was Rebecca. She worked with Amanda.

So, as far as MI6 were concerned, the threat was real. "What happened?"

"NCIS was given information on a marine and a soldier who went rogue and started selling weapons. Their first contact in the international market was Rene Benoit, but I started dealing with them pretty soon afterwards." She pulled her phone out and started pulling up pictures. She turned it towards Gibbs to show him the IDs for Smith and Black. "They both have a price on their head, and one's already been taken out. The marine went into hiding, we passed our Intel on. If this had happened three weeks ago there wouldn't have been a problem."

Amanda was silent for a moment as she studied Gibbs carefully. Finally she admitted, "You trust them with your life. That's your choice. But I can't trust them not to blow my operation."

_**JIBBSJIBBSJIBBS**_

Abby tried to slow her heart rate as she watched the verbal sparring match between Amanda's boss and Vance. After the revelation that the team had found out about Amanda, the morning had been a whirlwind of action. The planned lunch had gone from being a 'family' affair to a quick snack courtesy of room service. Afterwards, Jenny was ordered into a blonde wig and Josh had bundled them into the back of a white van.

_A limo would draw too much attention, _he'd muttered when Abby had questioned their mode of transport.

Abby glanced around the room, trying vainly to make anything out. When she had entered, she had been surprised to see that the room resembled MTAC. The room was almost identical, if slightly larger. Amanda had been standing with her back to them, wearing a set of headphones and barking orders to the technicians. Gibbs stood by her side, carefully watching what was going on. Occasionally he would cut in and add something to the discussion, but he mostly watched silently as the action whirred around him.

Now, however, the room was completely different. When John had walked in with his secretary about half an hour before, announcing that Leon Vance was on hold, there had been a tangible shift of the mood in the room. Even though she was sitting within a foot of everyone, once the lights in the room had dimmed even further she was completely blind. Amanda and Josh sat next to Ducky in the front row, completely invisible to everyone else in the room. She knew that Gibbs and Jenny were still on either side of her, because she was clinging to their arms. The fear that one of them would disappear in front of her eyes was still to dissipate.

The only thing from within the room that anyone could make out was a vague outline of John and the left hand side of his body, illuminated by the screen in front of him. While it had once showed the IDs of the team, now it showed MTAC. Vance was standing in the middle of the floor while Tony sat in the last row of chairs, oblivious to the fact that, with MI6's technology, he could be seen. The senior field agent's face was set in a grim line as the mood of the conversation darkened.

"If your agents know what's good for them, they _will_ stay out of our way!" Amanda's boss barked from his position in the shadows. John Abrahams was a tall, imposing man with the build similar to Josh and seemed to be ages with Ducky. In the hour since she had met him, it was clear to Abby that he ran his teams with slick precision. Failure wasn't an option.

"Is that a threat, John?" Vance asked, standing his ground. He glared into the darkness, successfully masking his unease at having a conversation with a shadow. Just because NCIS was a little fish in a big pond did not mean that he would take the flack lying down. MI6 had given him that information, and his agents were acting on it.

John laughed darkly and Vance tensed. "It was merely a warning. Ask Agent DiNozzo how far a deep cover agent will go to protect their identity." And with that the screen went black and the lights rose. It was still dark, but Abby could now make out everyone in the room, and was slightly startled to notice that more technicians had silently appeared. Without removing his eyes from the screen, John said, "So, Special Agent Gibbs, what do you think?"

Gibbs was silent for a moment as he thought back over the short conference with Vance. The acting director was shaken by the move, and he didn't know how the British had found out about their investigations. But he was defensive and wasn't going to let anyone tell him how to run his agency. There had been something in his eyes that had worried the marine. Vance knew _something_…something that he knew MI6 didn't know about…some loophole that would play in his favour.

It was something akin to triumph in there and that could pose a problem.

Gibbs glanced over Abby's head at Jenny, looking for the imperceptible nod that would tell him that he wasn't paranoid. When he saw it, he stood up and walked towards John. "There's something he isn't telling us. And I know my team. _If_ Leon tells them to back off, they'll just work under the radar."

John nodded absentmindedly for a moment, digesting Gibbs' words. Suddenly, he turned around and glared at Josh. Inclining his head towards the screen he barked, "Well, get on with it. You know what to do."

Amanda and Josh didn't need any other encouragement. Josh jumped out of his seat and headed towards the technicians, while Amanda rose gracefully from her perch. Instead of following Josh, Amanda headed towards the two men standing in front of the screen.

"I have a suggestion," she began slowly, watching them carefully to gauge their reactions, "but I'm not entirely sure you'll like it."

_**JIBBSJIBBSJIBBS**_

Ziva turned away from Vance and crossed her arms, glaring at the pictures of Aimée on the screen. Despite her training, she still couldn't make the two images merge. On the left was one of the pictures from Gibbs' basement – Amanda and Gibbs in Moscow – while on the right was a freeze frame from the Intel. Logically, she could see how the girl could lead a double life, but something felt wrong and couldn't see how they were the same person.

"I don't like this." She suddenly said, without taking her eyes off the monitor. "They knew about Tony and Jeanne. They knew we were trying to get to Aimée…" Turning her head slightly she asked Hollis, "Are you sure she isn't affiliated with MI6?"

"Positive." The blonde sighed from her perch on Gibbs' desk. She glanced down at the folder in her hands and continued, "All the sources say she's a free agent. Apparently her parents have been approached but so far no one's been successful in turning them. Aimée has a lot of friends in high places, and there's no shortage of people willing to protect her." Looking up again, Hollis looked apologetic as she repeated the words they already knew, "One informant went as far as likening her to a Venus Flytrap."

Ziva nodded, unsurprised. They had hit a brick wall with the case and the only viable lead they had was Aimée. Someone had Smith killed, and they had proof that the duo had tried to con the girl. Someone was helping Black stay under the radar, and Angel was the most likely candidate. In the end, all the paths seemed to lead back to her. But Ziva wasn't sure if that was because they were already convinced the girl was guilty of _something_ or not.

Tony's desk phone ringing suddenly jolted them all back to reality. Ziva turned away from the screen, internally shaking herself and repeating her current mantra of _look what staring at pictures of your enemies did to Jenny_. Hollis went back to scouring the case files for some sort of clue, while McGee tried another angle of getting information on Amanda. However, Tony's strangled "_Boss_?" made all their heads snap in his direction. Tony quickly pressed a button, putting Gibbs on loudspeaker. Ziva vaguely heard McGee's typing increase as he tried to trace the call, but she was more focused on the shouting coming from the desk.

" –phone calls from MI6 telling me to control my agents? I leave you alone for five minutes and you screw up! What the _hell_ possessed you to mess with _spies_ on the other side of the world?"

"It's Aimée…_Amanda_. She…" Tony stuttered, staring at the phone in disbelief. As far as repercussions went, whatever he had expected, a phone call from Gibbs was not one of them. That was the equivalent of your teacher of phoning your father in the middle of an important meeting just to tell him you'd failed a test. Taking a deep breath, Tony hastily added, "She's an arms dealer boss."

There was an eerie silence following Tony's announcement. His eyes went wide the silence lengthened, and he glanced around as if expecting Gibbs to jump from the shadows and headslap him. Finally Gibbs spoke, his voice low and dangerous. "Stay the hell out of this DiNozzo. Amanda isn't an arms dealer. The rest is need to know. Do not mess this up, DiNozzo, because I don't feel like fishing your body out of the Anacostia River."

**I know, I know, I'm cruel!**

**For some reason I can't reply to your reviews – I've no idea what happened. But thanks to everyone anyways! And sorry for the delay…but I do have a few fics up my sleeve which should be going live shortly… So keep your eyes open for **Crush** and **Ghosts **which are from the same universe and are a kind of AU to **HappyBirthday**. Then there's **Hotel Room** which is MatteaAM and Mrs. Elizabeth Gibbs' request (its M). And finally I did some songfic drabbles in an attempt to beat the writers block :) **

**HesMines x**


	21. Long Road Home

**Sooooo….I'm not dead. I was just ill. And it took me so long to get over the worst of it (full explanation is on my profile) that my mind was messed up, a million miles away from PND and didn't really want to contort back into that shape. Let me tell you, Amanda has done a lot of glaring and foot-tapping and telling me to get my ass into gear in the last year! But, hopefully, I'm back. And I apologise for the really crappy writing. I think it's painfully obvious where I'd originally written and the bit's that I'd come back to.**

**Thanks to KTMrshall and everyone else who's bugged me to finish this – hopefully it's not too much of a disappointment!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything. If I was a screenwriter I think I'd have been fired by now!**

* * *

"_Stay the hell out of this DiNozzo. Amanda isn't an arms dealer. The rest is need to know. Do not mess this up, DiNozzo, because I don't feel like fishing your body out of the Anacostia River."_

With that, Gibbs hung up. Tony stared at the phone for a few second longer before he seemed to shake himself out of his trace. Turning to face McGee he asked desperately, "Tell me you got a trace."

McGee didn't answer, his fingers still flying over the keyboard.

"McGee!"

"Give me a second." He muttered in reply, frowning and moving closer to the screen, as if that would somehow help speed up the process. After a few moments, he cursed under his breath and pushed back from the table, glaring at his equipment like it had wronged him, "I can't get anything. They're bouncing the signal around so many towers and countries I couldn't tell you were it originated from without standing next to Gibbs myself."

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed his words, the reality of the situation sinking in. Vance was the first to move, standing and signaling for DiNozzo to follow him. Tony exchanged a confused glance with Ziva before he followed Vance, completely at a loss as to where this was going.

Once they behind the stairs and out of earshot of the team, Vance fixed Tony with a stare the younger man had only seen a few times. One that said Vance was far more capable of the job than they gave him credit for. "What's your gut telling you about this case?"

Tony took a deep breath and blew it out carefully before he spoke, choosing his words carefully. "We're missing something. The girls an arms dealer, we can't deny that. There's definitely a link between the girl and Gibbs' disappearance. And if MI6 has Gibbs…"

Vance nodded, his face a blank mask giving nothing away, "What can we hope to achieve by pursing this case?"

"Other than pissing off some spies?" Tony laughed humorlessly, running a hand through his hair, "Best case scenario, we find out who ordered the hit on our suspects and possibly take down a few arms dealers while we're at it. Worst case scenario, the British come down on us with everything they've got and we all end up with targets on our heads. Realistically, if we don't obviously go after Amanda they might let us keep our heads. If she just happened to get caught in the crossfire…"

Vance nodded again, and Tony guessed he'd said the right words in the right order. Well at least he hoped he had, "I want you to bring in Agent Burly. Let's hear what he has to say about the kid he knew so well. He won't be stateside until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest – until then work the illegal weapons angle."

_**JIBBS**_

Stan Burly grinned as he stepped out of the elevator. It had been seven years since he had last set foot in the building and it hadn't changed a bit. Seven years since he'd gone into hiding on a naval destroyer. Seven years since he'd made the best decision of his life.

Scanning the room for familiar faces, Stan had to repress a grin. Several of the older agents had noticed his arrival and were glancing at him warily – they obviously remembered all the stunts he'd pulled over the years. If his guess was right DiNozzo would receive the same treatment, even when he was a team leader himself. Resting his gaze on his destination, Stan allowed himself a few moments of nostalgia. The squad room hadn't changed since his departure – the walls were still that bright orange colour that was supposed to cheer them all up, plants were still dotted around the room, those damn windows _still_ didn't open and the Director could still spy on you – it had been upgraded, but not changed. So when he looked at the bullpen, it was too easy to imagine that he was coming home to the team he'd left behind.

Gibbs would be at his desk, most likely glaring at the computer. The man hated technology and didn't care who knew it. Or maybe he'd be leaning back in his chair, surveying the team and sipping that slop he called coffee. Somehow, he'd be expecting Stan's arrival, even though it was unexpected, and he'd fix him with a stare that made him feel like he was late.

Will would be sitting diagonally across from Gibbs, pretending to do paperwork but in reality was playing some game on his computer. The man had a talent – no matter how much he'd procrastinated or how little time he spent at his desk, his paperwork was always handed in on time and to Gibbs' high standards. He still didn't know how he'd managed it.

And then there was Jenny. She'd be sitting across from Gibbs, hard at work. Trying to prove to herself and everyone else that she deserved to be there, to cement her value in the man's world that was NCIS. There weren't many female agents, and those who made it fought tooth and nail to be taken seriously. But then she'd slip. Every so often her typing would slow – but she was still faster than most secretaries he'd encountered – and she'd glance over at Gibbs. Just a quick look, maybe a smile. Things she thought no one else noticed.

But they did. Everyone noticed.

They tried to keep their relationship out of the workplace. In here, she was just another agent. A damn good one. Not someone who was labeled as the whore that was sleeping with her boss. But sometimes it leaked through when they thought no one was looking. Gibbs was just as bad as she was. He was _happy_, and that was a feat in itself.

And then, out of nowhere, Amanda would appear. Girl was like a ghost. She was taking lessons from her father. Surrogate father. She didn't talk about her real parents or her sister, didn't need to. The silence said it all. _This_ was her family. Or maybe she'd already be there, perched on the edge of Gibbs' desk, grinning and rambling on at a hundred miles an hour about something.

Anything. Everything.

And when she heard him approach, she'd look up, flash him that million watt smile and ask what had taken him so long.

But then the scene changed. His mind couldn't quite decide what version of Amanda should be there. The cute, brunette ten year-old that fit the time period? The peroxide blonde fourteen year old who'd waved him off when he'd left DC? Or the twenty year old he knew she was?

So his memory decided to flicker between the three. Because that's all this was, a memory.

He wasn't coming back from vacation. He wasn't coming back from following a lead or grabbing lunch. Hell, it wasn't even like he was coming home to _his_ team. He might be coming back to the Navy Yard, but he wasn't coming home. Home was with his team…and they were long gone. Broken beyond repair, they'd been scattered across the globe with minimal contact.

Jenny and Will were gone. Dead because of an operation that had come back to bite them in the ass. Gibbs had never gotten over Jenny leaving him, and her death had completely broken him. He only existed now, a shell of his former self. And Amanda…well she was growing up and leaving the nest. She tried to email at least once a month, but it was far from consistent. He didn't blame her though. After everything she'd been through, maybe it was best if she had a clean break from the past.

It couldn't mess her up anymore than it already had.

Stan was suddenly broken from his reverie by someone calling his name. The memories disappeared from in front of his eyes immediately so when he turned his head to the side, Tony was in sharp focus.

"You okay?" Tony asked, unconvinced by the smile on Stan's face. He'd seen enough forced emotion over the years to know a fake when he saw one.

Letting the smile drop from his face, Stan nodded slowly. Raising one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug he replied, "Just old memories. This is the first time I've set foot in here since I left the MCRT. Never thought I'd be gone this long… You know, when we started the Paris op, we were all convinced that we'd come back when it was all over." He trailed off as he remembered their words, the promises no one had kept, before he briskly shook his head to clear his mind. There was plenty of time for ruminating later. Right now he had a job to do. "So where's the fire? Your call was enough to get me on the first flight off that carrier."

Tony took a deep breath and sighed, "I'm about to make your day a hell of a lot worse."

_**JIBBS**_

"So you're trying to tell me," Stan began, making no attempt to hide the disbelief in his voice, "that you think Amanda has something to do with Gibbs getting pulled into an op by MI6? Amanda. She's _twenty_! She's just a kid. Okay, you don't know her, but she'd never be into anything illegal! Gibbs would kill her!"

He stopped his pacing and turned back to look at the team. They were in MTAC, and Tony had just finished filling him in on their makeshift 'case'. He knew they were worried about Gibbs, but from where he was standing they were making an awful lot of conclusions with no evidence. They had next to no evidence, other than a gut feeling and the fact Gibbs had taken off as soon as she'd arrived. He didn't even think circumstantial even applied here. "This is insanity."

"You have to look at it from our point of view." Hollis began, standing up from the chair she'd been sitting in. She made to move towards Stan, but he stopped her approach with a glare. He knew all about the blonde from Amanda, and while he knew she was probably exaggerating, he was going to tread the water carefully. If this woman had an axe to grind, this case was her perfect opportunity.

Hollis stopped a few paces away from him and continued, "It doesn't look good for her. She turns up here and then Gibbs suddenly disappears. Then she pops up in our Intel under another name and she's having dinner with arms dealers and buying weapons. We can _show_ you the pictures. MI6 wouldn't intervene in something like this without due cause."

"We bugged Abby's cell." Ziva chimed in when it looked like Stan was about to interrupt, "Without a context it leaves a lot to speculation…but it does tell us that she's hiding something."

"Let me hear it." Stan all but growled, turning to one of the technicians. He had a dark feeling brewing in his gut, and he just hoped to God it was wrong. Would this never leave them alone? Paris had already claimed two of his family, and he'd be damned if he let it claim a third.

The tech turned and looked to Vance for approval, then with a nod pressed a few buttons on the keypad before the Abby's voice echoed around the room.

"_Pick up...C'mon pick up..."_

"_Allô?" _

The accent was perfect, but everyone in the room recognized the voice as Amanda's. Or Aimee's. Whichever one she really was. Voices could be heard indistinctly in the background, but nothing clear enough to make out what they were saying.

"_It's me. Bad time?"_

"_Give me two seconds." _There was more talking on the other end, with Amanda barking out the odd command or reply in French. They'd already translated it and discovered it was useless. Suddenly there was a muted explosion from her end of the line, quickly followed by more chat._ "Okay, I'm good." _

The voices in the background faded away, and the sound of a closing door signaled that Amanda had moved to a more private area.

"_Do I want to know what that was?"_

"_Erm...probably not." _Amanda laughed, seeming totally at ease with whatever had just passed._ "So what's up?"_

There was a moment of silence while Abby pondered her words. After taking a deep breath, she admitted_, "SecNav decided to read me in."_

"_I know." _Amanda replied, suddenly sounding tired._ "I got the call about an hour ago. Abs, I'm so sorry. Look…I didn't have a choice. It," _She trailed off, and after another deep breath she continued,_ "this was the only way. If there was any way I could've told you I would've but –"_

"_Whoa, hey, Mandy, calm down. I don't know anything yet."_

"_You're gonna hate me when you find out Abs. When he tells you…just remember that I __**am**__ sorry."_

"_What the hell have you gotten yourself into?" _Abby asked slowly, as if something was suddenly making sense. She paused for a moment before she added, _"Ignoring your problems, throwing yourself into work…it doesn't help you cope. Trust me, I've tried." _

Amanda sighed,_ "It helps. Over here, I didn't just lose my mom. Not that they would care anyway." _She laughed humorlessly before she lightened her tone and added,_ "At least I didn't end up having a few drunken one night stands."_

"_**That**__ is because you have Josh. And it was only twice! I'm single so it's not like I did anything wrong." Abby laughed, taking the joke the way it was intended. _

The first time the recording had played, McGee's jaw had dropped. He'd thought they were getting closer, but that was the first he'd heard of these other men. There rest of the conversation didn't help his confused emotions, but now – after many re-listenings – he managed to minimize his reaction to a slight widening of the eyes.

"_Abs it was three times. __**And**__ you said you felt like you were cheating on Tim." _Amanda replied triumphantly.

"_It felt like I was." _Abby was hesitant, all trace of joking gone. After a moment she admitted quietly,_ "It's not like it matters. He doesn't care about me like that anymore."_

"_I've never met the guy and even I can tell you that's bull." _Amanda sounded like she was about to say more, but was interrupted by someone shouting. After a few repeats, they were sure that the shout was something along the lines of 'get your ass back up here'. _"Two seconds…" _There was more indistinct noise that they couldn't decipher before Amanda returned to the phone with a laugh._ "God, it never stops. Apparently there's a Colombian drug lord I need to go deal with. This should be fun."_

"_Please be careful." _Abby pleaded, the tension from the beginning of the conversation suddenly reappearing.

"_I'm always careful."_

Suddenly Abby was cut off, but not before she muttered,_ "Where have I heard that before?"_

Stan stared at the blank monitors, his mouth hanging open slightly. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and turned his head towards the ceiling. As he spoke, he tried to ignore the knot of dread that was now fully formed in his stomach. "In the Intel...what name was she going by?"

Ziva studied Stan carefully before she answered. The feeling she'd had when she'd talked to Abby was back, the gut feeling that told her they knew more than they were letting on, and she would be damned if she let that chance for more information slip her by again. "Aimée Jones."

Stan just nodded, his expression darkening as he began to put the pieces together. "Of course she is."


	22. Leverage

**Okay...so the main issue with this chapter was I spent far longer than I care to admit opening the word document, reading what was originally the first line****, cringing, closing the document and going off to do something else until the words had stopped swimming in front of my eyes. Long story. Don't ask. And then real life got in the way and I had no free time even after I could open the document without cringing.**

**Most of this was written on Boxing Day (i.e. everything with Stan) so I did not too bad churning it out then getting it checked over...when I eventually got to it.**

_**JIBBS**_

_Hey, you've reached Josh and Mandy. We're a little busy at the moment, but we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Eventually. Maybe. Depends how much we love you._

_Hey, it's Mandy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you._

_Hey, it's Mandy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you._

_Hey, it's Mandy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you._

_Hey, it's Mandy. Leave a message and I'll –_

"Dammit, Mandy!"

Stan hit the steering wheel angrily as he threw his cell onto the passenger seat. He hated voicemail. Always had. And listening to Amanda's normal bubbly self smiling down the phone was not what he wanted to hear.

He didn't care if she was terrified out of her mind. He didn't care if she was confused as hell. He'd prefer completely clueless, but judging by what he'd seen at NCIS, that was out of the equation. He'd even take the faked laughs, or the cold, distant tones he'd had to put up with since Jenny's murder. He'd take anything other than voicemail.

If anything, voicemail made this whole thing worse. He knew the time difference. It was five in the afternoon where she was...where she was supposed to be. She wasn't answering any of the numbers he had for her. According to her office she'd taken some time off and as far as they knew she was visiting her uncle in DC. According to her passport she hadn't left London. He could hope that she'd forgotten her cell when she'd gone out that morning, and that there was no answer on her home phone because she was away somewhere with her boyfriend. Or that the systems just hadn't updated her recent trip to DC because of some unknown error. But he wasn't stupid enough to believe that.

Amanda was in deeper than he'd thought. She was in trouble, and no one had noticed.

Gibbs was going to _murder_ him.

Glaring at his cell as if it had wronged him, as if it was the girl who currently had his blood pressure sky rocketing, he half-shouted, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He knew she'd been taking Jenny's death hard. He wasn't stupid enough to believe her when she said she was okay. Girl was going to pieces, and there was only so much he could do when their contact was infrequent and he was in the middle of the goddamn ocean. But she knew she could talk to him. She'd always known that. Or at least he'd thought she had.

Once upon a time, Amanda would tell him everything. But then things changed. Their little surrogate family unit fell apart around them. She grew up. He spent more time on boats than with people. She got her own life outside of the Navy Yard. Contact became infrequent. But he could talk to her after three months and it was so easy to slip back into those old roles that it felt like three days. She still _talked_ to him. She worried about Gibbs. Pretended she wasn't crying over Jenny. Sometimes he could even get her to let it all out and rant about how unfair the whole thing was.

He'd known something was off about her. But he thought he knew what it was. If she had been running around as Aimée...if she'd been caught out...she would have told him.

She would have told _Gibbs_.

This didn't make sense. And he couldn't get a hold of her to wring her neck for making him worry like this.

The only plus Stan could see out of this whole mess was that Gibbs was with her. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she had caved eventually and told Gibbs. Whoever was behind this, whoever was pulling the strings...maybe they'd looked away for a beat too long and she'd made her escape. Ran to Gibbs because she had nowhere else to go. And Gibbs...Gibbs would be on the offensive. He'd do everything in his power and then some to make sure Amanda got out of this unscathed. Especially after what happened to Jenny.

But that didn't make sense of why Ducky and Abby were gone. Gibbs had a lot of sway. He was powerful, even if those around him didn't realise it. He didn't have a mass of political contacts. He didn't have a way with the media. His contacts...they were military, they were underground, they were big players who respected and/or feared him...'old friends' whose origins Stan and Will didn't think about. The Athena Project was in the hands of the British now. Theoretically, Gibbs could have pulled some strings, but his gut told him that wasn't the case.

Yes, Gibbs was pulling strings somewhere. Yes, the British were involved somehow. But Gibbs going to them...Stan wasn't feeling it.

And then there was the other option that Stan didn't want to think about. One that made perfect sense. But the consequences...

What if Amanda had become Aimée under her own power? No duress. No corrupting an innocent teenager. No men appearing from nowhere looking for Aimée and no other choice but to go along with it.

What if it was her choice?

Or what if there was no choice?

Stan couldn't decide which was worse; Amanda deciding to enter the fray that had claimed her 'mother' or the British deciding that she should pick up the role of Aimée once she was old enough. The first, as much as he hated to admit it, was more than possible. It was so completely Jenny-and-Gibbs-esque that he was surprised his old boss hadn't seen it coming. And Gibbs would _murder_ Amanda for being so stupid. The second opened a whole new can of worms. And Gibbs would go on a killing spree of proportions Stan did not want to contemplate.

Exhaling heavily, Stan rested his forehead against the steering wheel and closed his eyes. Fighting to resist the urge to bang his head off the wheel repeatedly, he blindly reached for his cell again. He had a call to make. And it wasn't going to be fun.

Straightening back up, as if he was worried the other man would see him through the phone, Stan dialled the number he'd memorised years ago. After the automated voice told him his call was being diverted, the dial tone lasted a beat longer than Stan was used to. His secretary always answered on the third. He was the same. This lasted four. After Jenny, he was probably as shocked about seeing the caller ID as Stan was making the call.

There was silence when the phone was eventually picked up, just as Stan knew there would be. Without missing a beat, his voice devoid of emotion, Stan repeated the phrase that had been decided almost a decade before.

"This is Rick Clark from BigFish Publishing."

_Agent Stan Burley, stationed on some goddamn ship._

"I have a message for Mr. Oshimida."

_We've been compromised._

"We're having some issues in our offices at the moment, so we're going to have to reschedule his appointment."

_Legitimate meeting places are out. We're going underground._

"If he could contact me as soon as possible that'd be great."

_It isn't safe to contact the others._

"If everything goes to plan we should have Dark Angels ready to go by next month."

_It's about Amanda._

_**JIBBS**_

"I don't like this Mandy." Josh appeared silently at his girlfriend's shoulder, handing her the cup of coffee while keeping his eyes locked on the other side of the window. They were in the middle of Heathrow, waiting to take off. The plan was simple. He still didn't like it.

Jenny, Gibbs, Abby and Amanda were flying to Mexico to meet Mike Franks and would lay low there for a few days until it was time to move again. He and Ducky would head to DC to set up the transition. And somehow, in the middle of all that, they needed to find a way to get NCIS off Amanda's back. They hadn't been sure the call to Gibbs' team would stop them for long, but it had given them enough time to plan. MI5 had hacked into NCIS' mainframe as soon as things had started to go south. They knew exactly what the MCRT were up to. Nothing was going to stop them indefinitely. They were too good at their jobs for that, even Gibbs admitted it.

The call had worked. To an extent. It had slowed them down. They were more careful. They'd called in Stan Burly. Amanda and Gibbs seemed to think this was a good thing. It seemed like Gibbs' threat of fishing them out of the river had hit home, even if only with Officer David who had probably carried out her fair share of those ops.

"_Stan's a good agent. He knows me. He wouldn't let anyone hurt me if he could do anything about it. And he knows enough about Aim__é__e to make them back off. It maybe isn't perfect, but it'll keep them occupied."_

Josh knew they wouldn't make the jump to spy. MI6 had their creations so well protected that it was impossible to get anywhere near them. But that didn't make things any safer for Amanda. NCIS thought she was an arms dealer. They thought she had something to do with three of their employees' suddenly disappearing. He couldn't fault their actions, if he was in their place he would have been even more ruthless than they were…but they were messing with his girl.

And no one messed with her and got away with it.

"You don't have to," Amanda sighed, refusing to meet his gaze. She took a sip of her coffee before adding, "What have I told you about trying to protect me?"

Josh didn't look away from the scene in front of him, instead he raised his hand to entwine his fingers with hers, "Yet I'll still do it."

"And I'll still let you." Amanda was silent for another long moment. She'd been keeping something from Josh since she'd left the headquarters the night before, and she wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up. She could dress it up and say she'd been too busy planning their next steps to mention it, but she'd be lying to herself. The plans were a welcome distraction. It meant she didn't need to think about the phone call she'd received from HR or the implications it could have.

Glancing subtly to the left, Amanda made sure Gibbs and Jenny were still where she'd left them. The fear that one of them was going to suddenly disappear if she looked away for too long still hadn't left. Not quite. She suppressed a grin when she saw Gibbs lean over to whisper something to Jenny, and when the redhead rolled her eyes and swatted Gibbs in the chest she had to bite her lip to contain the laughter. It was so _domestic_.

"You know they're letting me keep the safe house?"

"What?"

The words were out of her mouth before she'd really registered saying them. It wasn't until she felt Josh's confused gaze on her that she realised what she'd done. Keeping her eyes fixed on the people milling around the terminal, anywhere from Josh's reflection in the glass she explained hastily, "We get to keep the house. Apparently we're a little too well known in the area. 'That nice young couple at the end of the street; like to keep to themselves but a lovely pair.' They think it'd be a bad idea to take us out. So we can keep it if we want. Set up a base." Internally Gibbs-slapping herself, Amanda tried to reign in the babbling. She was on the verge or rambling, and even she could hear the forced calm in her voice. "And it's close enough for commuting into London and you're as bad as I am for going all over the world at the drop of a hat. I think they just got sick of paying for two flats we barely us –"

Smirking, Josh cut across her with a laugh, "Very Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

Thankful that he had stopped her before she could say something stupid, Amanda finally turned to look at him. Throwing him a wicked look over her shoulder she grinned, "You couldn't take me out even if you wanted to."

Josh didn't confirm or deny her statement, instead opting to backtrack to her original topic, "So we're keeping it?"

"_I'm_ keeping it." Amanda shot back, her eyes shuttering again as she looked away from him. In the few seconds it took him to realise that she was genuinely worried about his answer, she had started to ramble again. "Whether or not you keep it is entirely up to you. Do you know how long it took me to get that living room just the way I -"

After a long moment, once he was sure she was suitably dazed enough to stop rambling and actually _listen_ to him, Josh pulled back from the kiss just a little. His lips were hovering over hers, his eyes still closed as he whispered, "Yes, I would love to move in with you. Officially. Since apparently the last eight months didn't count." He paused for a moment, a thought suddenly crossing his mind. Leaning in to drop a peck on her lips, he pulled her in closer by her waist and added, "Let's just not tell Gibbs until I'm on my flight."

Amanda let out a giggle at that, hiding her face in his shoulder so he couldn't see the mischievous glint in her eyes, "You really think that'll save you?"

Please.

Gibbs already knew.

Gibbs knew _everything._

_**JIBBS**_

Four minutes after his call, Stan was unsurprised to feel his phone vibrate. After relaying the message he hung up and let his head drop back against the seat. _That_ was the call Jenny should have made at Decker's funeral. From what Stan had managed to figure out, the situation at the funeral hadn't been so dire that she couldn't make the call. They'd been looking for a man. Svetlana wasn't even there.

_This is Eva Green from Tastes of Europe. I have a message for Mr. Oshimida. We're having some issues in our offices at the moment, so we're going to have to reschedule his appointment. There are also some issues with the Russian Vodka he requested, it's here a little early. I'll be out of town, so if he could contact Jack that'd be great. _

She didn't need to die. Jen always was an idiot. Never did realise she didn't always have to do everything on her own. If she was still around, he'd quite happily wring her neck too.

When Burley answered, he remained silent. Just like he was supposed to. It wasn't until he heard the beep that signalled that the line was secure that he spoke, "Deputy Director."

"Burley." There was something in Tom Morrow's voice that Stan couldn't identify. It wasn't quite worry...more like resignation. Like he knew what was coming, but he hadn't expected it so soon. Whatever it was gone as soon as Morrow got straight down to business, "SitRep?"

"NCIS is currently undertaking a joint operation with Army CID. Lieutenant Colonel Hollis Mann has been pulled out of retirement because she headed the case before it went cold. Arms deals with links to the Athena Project."

"Evidence?"

"Surveillance shows the suspects meeting with Aimée." Stan paused for a moment before adding, "_Our_ Aimée."

Morrow exhaled heavily, giving nothing away. More resignation. Right away, warning bells began ringing in Stan's mind. Morrow knew what was going on. Suddenly, this seemed a hell of a lot worse. "I expected Gibbs to be able to control the situation, should this ever occur. As far as I was aware, Amanda had stayed away from his new team."

"Gibbs isn't here. He left with Amanda for some unknown reason before his team was given the case. Official story is he's working with European counter-terrorism, along with Ducky and Abby Sciuto. No one's buying it. By the time I was called in his team had already been warned off by MI6 and Gibbs. It's a witch-hunt. I can slow them down, but I can only do so much without giving anything away." Gripping his cell that little bit tighter, Stan surveyed the area. The car park was secluded enough that he didn't have to worry about a tail or someone overhearing, but it wasn't so off the grid that he could be ambushed easily. Right now, all he had to worry about was the odd dog walker getting a little too close to the car. "Sir, what the hell is going on?"

Morrow was silent for a long moment, almost long enough for Stan to worry that he wasn't going to answer. There was something going on here that he didn't know about. Something big. "As you know, the Athena Project was taken over by the British after we had completed our part of the mission. It was always the plan for them to run it long term."

"Yes, I remember that. I also remember being told that there would be British agents involved, but we had no clue who they were or what their role was." Even as he said the words, Stan felt like he was missing out on the obvious. The words had been true at the time – they were still true now – but he had the feeling that he _should_ know what Morrow was talking about. There was another silence, as if Morrow was waiting for the coin to drop. It took another few beats, but when the realisation hit, Stan felt as if his stomach had fell through the bottom of the car. "No."

"I never said I agreed with it. I didn't know until it was too late. Jethro was back from Russia before I knew."

"Did he know?"

"When you created the covers, she was just a kid and it was for her own protection. At the time, I don't think he expected this to happen, but when it became apparent that she was becoming Aimée I don't think he was surprised. He knew Ducky was our MI6 liaison, he always knew what the future held. "

"And Jenny?" She had to know. If she didn't...Stan wouldn't be surprised to find out that Gibbs had a poltergeist living in his basement. A very angry, redheaded poltergeist.

"I assume she knew. I'd be surprised if she didn't." In other words, they'd never talked about it. Just like no one talked about the mission. Once it was over, no one wanted to bring it back up. The mission was a success, but so many things became taboo. You couldn't mention Jenny around Gibbs. You couldn't mention Gibbs around Jenny. And after a while, he and Will stopped speculating about what went wrong. No one talked about it. And it wasn't like they were cleared to talk about it to anyone else. That permission could only come from Morrow and Gibbs.

Which was why he was making this call.

"Deal with this Burley. Give them as little detail as possible. Just enough to make them stop digging. If MI6 have warned them once, they will not hesitate to take action if we interfere with their operation. This isn't the first time Gibbs has been pulled back in to play Le Renard. And if they think Amanda is an innocent caught in the crossfire..."

"All the better. Got it." Stan nodded, understanding the inflection completely. Keep Amanda's role out of the picture for as long as possible. Gibbs would fill in the blanks on his return. With the obvious end to the conversation, Morrow hung up. Stan was a little slower in lowering his phone, trying to process what he had just been told.

Amanda was a spy. She wasn't even twenty-one yet, and she was a spy. That was...that was. _Fuck._ He didn't even know what that was. How could she go from that bubbly, blonde fifteen year old...to this? It...

Glancing down at his phone, he clicked Amanda's name again. He knew it was fruitless. If she was 'working' there was no way she'd take his call.

But she'd need to check her voicemail eventually.

_Hey, it's Mandy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you._

"Shorty...you are in _so_ much shit when I get my hands on you."


End file.
